# A word about Melania Trump. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 24, 2017, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001 "2017-01-24T02:19:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/41 "2017-01-24T15:15:52Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > QFT > > Amazing how suddenly everyone’s an expert on Melania, able to interpret her every look and reveal her innermost thoughts. Heaven forbid that they should be projecting their own feelings on to her. I mean that couldn’t happen, could it? I think people are able to interpret her \*husband’s \*innermost thoughts, mostly because they don’t seem to stay in. His vile, bullying, abusive, narcissistic personality has been on full display for at least the past four years, and from there people are feeling sorry for the poor woman. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/42 "2017-01-24T15:23:12Z")
> [@peedin](#): > > Yes, there is a tradition of First Ladies having a platform or cause, but it isn’t a law. During the latter stages of the campaign, she announced that her cause, if she were to become First Lady, would be fighting against cyberbullying. (Which, given her husband’s penchant for attacking others via Twitter, was seen by many as pretty ironic.) > **[Melania Trump takes on cyberbullying: 'Our culture has gotten too mean'](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/nov/03/melania-trump-cyberbullying-campaign-speech)** > > Trump portrays her husband, famous for his often vulgar and insulting Twitter feed, as a devoted family man in rare public appearance ahead of election day To what extent she actually takes that on, or takes on any sort of visible public role, remains to be seen, of course. I agree with what others have already said here: I don’t think she’s comfortable as a public speaker, and I suspect that she’s not happy with her new role in life. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/43 "2017-01-24T16:11:16Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > **Skip This Post if You Find Morbid Baseless Speculation to be Tasteless** > > How would it be handled and what would be the fallout if she were to commit suicide while First Lady? > > From a human standpoint, it would be tragic obviously, but we on this messageboard have certainly set our humanity aside from time to time while arguing far fetched macabre hypotheticals before. > Hell, some of us have set aside our humanity when discussing very real and personal issues. > > So… > [ul] > [li]How would the administration address it from a P.R. standpoint?[/li][li]How would the media cover it?[/li][li]What would be the political fallout?[/li][/ul] SAME DISCLAIMER I was just wondering the other day, what if a movement went viral for everyone who was already suicidal, to symbolically end their lives on inauguration day. And then thousands of people did. (I resisted, for good reason, the temptation to post this question before inauguration day.) ---
**Author:** ![Grumbacher\_Red](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Grumbacher\_Red](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumbacher_Red)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/44 "2017-01-24T16:19:37Z")
The position of First Lady has evolved, as it should have, especially since Hillary. It was Hillary who expanded the role and added more staff. Laura Bush wasn’t as prominent as Hillary, but being a former schoolteacher, had her Literacy platform and did well with that. And I agree with what everyone else has said of Michelle Obama being an equal partner and the very picture of the supportive spouse. So, I don’t think comparing Melania to Pat Nixon or Betty Ford is really saying anything. Pat could sit in her apartment and get plastered, the First Lady just wasn’t as visible in those days. Stuff is gonna be said, people are gonna gossip and speculate whether anybody on either side likes it or not. I’m not slamming her, and I am sure she is a perfectly nice human being, but…there’s just nothing there. The fact that she plagiarized Michelle Obama, and she and whoever helped her thought, oh, nobody will notice, speaks volumes! Even going back to Nancy Reagan, the bar is set pretty high that the First Lady needs to be a role model and a Modern Woman in her own way. And yes, those people who are talking about having a classy First Lady “finally” need to STHU. Some people obviously have different ideas than I do about “Class”. I just can’t see Melania being capable putting her own stamp on the role. And I all I see her husband doing is leaving a nasty stain on our Presidency. As to the speculation on what will be done if she offs herself, well…at this rate will we even notice her absence? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/45 "2017-01-24T16:25:51Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > So being a gold-digger isn’t all it should be? Hard to find pity for her. My sentiments, too. I think it’s an insult to “women” to make it seem like women are victims in their marriages. If she’s miserable, she should get out. If she’s worried about supporting herself post-Trump, she can join the Kartrashians. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/46 "2017-01-24T16:27:54Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > So being a gold-digger isn’t all it should be? Hard to find pity for her. > [@kayaker](#): > > Have you seen any evidence that she can read and write? Aw, c’mon, guys. :dubious: Not called for. > [@peedin](#): > > As much as I hate Trump, I see no reason to attack Melania or their son Barron. I completely agree with the OP’s statement: _In my IMHO, Mrs. Trump is in a position she did not want to find herself in with a person she seems to have zero connection to. I certainly understand being shy or overwhelmed by the situation. While nobody can truly know, I’m wondering if she’s not shy or overwhelmed as much as she is profoundly frightened of the pickle she’s in._ > > What she does or doesn’t do in her position remains to be seen. Yes, there is a tradition of First Ladies having a platform or cause, but it isn’t a law. Maybe Melania just wants to be behind the scenes and live as normal a life as she and her son can. This represents my pov, too. > [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I think people are able to interpret her \*husband’s \*innermost thoughts, mostly because they don’t seem to stay in. His vile, bullying, abusive, narcissistic personality has been on full display for at least the past four years, and from there people are feeling sorry for the poor woman. This is the thing: Donald Trump doesn’t make any pretense about hiding who he is. He has shown his ignorance, narcissism, cruelty, intolerance, and inclination toward revenge over and over again. Hell, he brags about these ugly qualities (and his fans love him for being a clueless brute). No one really knows what Melania’s life is like in private (and it turns my stomach to try to imagine it), but money is no compensation for being (like Howard the Duck) “trapped in a world she never made.” I think the comparison to Pat Nixon is apt. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/47 "2017-01-24T16:28:37Z")
My prediction: her approval ratings will be higher than his and he lashes out at her in some ugly ways. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/48 "2017-01-24T16:34:08Z")
I think her being married to that jackass is punishment enough. She’s made her bed and she’s sleeping in it. I see no reason to humiliate her further. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/49 "2017-01-24T16:36:54Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > My prediction: her approval ratings will be higher than his and he lashes out at her in some ugly ways. I can definitely see that happening. That could get very ugly. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/50 "2017-01-24T16:50:25Z")
Count me with the mild sympathy crowd. The stronger sense is “You’ve made your bed, now lie in it.” As for her mission of fighting cyberbullying, sounds good, eh? All on the up-and-up? OK, how does she define cyberbullying? Could it be anyone saying anything online against Trump? That would certainly qualify, in a stretchy kinda way. We shall see how that all goes. I encourage people to not allow her blankness to be something anyone can read anything into. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/51 "2017-01-24T17:08:08Z")
First, there is an awful lot of arm chair analysis at work here. Second, if Melania is truly as miserable as you think, isn’t this a great thing for her? Seems like with Donald as president, there will be more distance between them. She’s practically going to be living in a different city from Donald. If any president could weather a divorce while in office, it’s Trump. The dude is Teflon. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/52 "2017-01-24T17:20:13Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > First, there is an awful lot of arm chair analysis at work here. Second, if Melania is truly as miserable as you think, isn’t this a great thing for her? Seems like with Donald as president, there will be more distance between them. She’s practically going to be living in a different city from Donald. > > If any president could weather a divorce while in office, it’s Trump. The dude is Teflon. I was thinking the same thing. She gets to stay in NY. BUT she’s probably going to have to make a lot of public appearances with him. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/53 "2017-01-24T17:32:10Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > It’s interesting how much all this criticism parallels similar speculation among right-wingers about the Clinton marriage. How it was a loveless and miserable business arrangement, how she humiliated herself (by tolerating all the infidelity) in order to have what she wanted (access to the ladder to power), etc. I’m a left-winger and I have that view of the Clinton marriage. I don’t think you can read too much into 1.5-second video clips. I’m sure that their marriage today isn’t what she imagined on her wedding day, but whose is? It’s true that we see no sign of affection between them but that doesn’t mean she is miserable. I think she is stronger than what she gets credit for based on interviews I’ve read and seen. She has a very traditional background and views and was a good match for a guy who needed someone to produce an heir and then take care of him while he was out making deals. I expect any unhappiness she has is more related to being thrust into the public spotlight than with her marriage. It’s probably like Ann Landers always used to say–when readers had a troubled marriage she always asked, “Are you better off with or without him?” ---
**Author:** ![Reluctant\_A](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@Reluctant\_A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reluctant_A)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/54 "2017-01-24T17:47:36Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > Depends on if she left a note and what it said. If it said “This son of a bitch has been banging his daughter for years” that’s one thing, if it said “Oh, I am just not worthy to breathe the same air as this living god among men” it’s another. > > The administration would blame Obama. Kellyanne Conway would say that she is simply living an alternative form of life and isn’t it terrible what Hillary did with her emails? > > The media would be nonstop 24/7 for about a week. > > His supporters would shrug their shoulders and the female ones would dance with glee- “Yes! He’s available!” Republicans would say Melania slipped on a bar of soap that Michelle left in the shower. Yeah, right. Like Republicans believe that the Obamas bathe… ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/55 "2017-01-24T18:10:14Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > …a guy who needed someone to produce an heir… An heir? I’m not sure I follow this. With two older brothers, Barron isn’t even “the spare.” ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/56 "2017-01-24T18:21:19Z")
I don’t know enough about her to have sympathy or to say “she made her bed” - for all I know, she is deliriously happy. I’ve met people who have claimed to be happy in all sorts of “that doesn’t seem comfortable to me” situations. Nor do I know a darn thing about the private interactions between the Trumps. I won’t disrespect her by assuming she is powerless. If she is, I feel for her the way I feel for trapped women all over. > [@kunilou](#): > > With maybe the exception of Hillary Clinton I’m not sure ANY President’s wife ever wanted to be First Lady. And I think Hillary might just have accepted it as a career move. Mary Todd Lincoln really really wanted to be first lady - that and the fact that she was crazy are what schoolchildren remember her for. Dolly Madison most likely did as well, she married a man who was very likely to be president, and then did a bang up job as First Lady. I suspect that Abigail Adams wanted John to be President - she thought it was his due - and since they had, for the time, a very egalitarian marriage, she knew she’d need to support him (she always did) - although Dolly came after her and really established the role. Eleanor Roosevelt - as Teddy’s favorite niece - knew when she married FDR that she was marrying a politician - and worked fairly tirelessly to support him - even after their marriage sort of failed on the marriage front, Eleanor was behind him on his (and her) political career. Sarah Polk was a very political spouse, she wrote some of her husband’s speeches. Nellie Taft was also very supportive of our “most well rounded President” (Taft is the only person to have served in all three branches of federal government). Certainly, Francis Cleveland, who married in the White House, had every opportunity to not be First Lady. There is certainly nothing in Edith Wilson’s behavior after her husband’s stroke that says she didn’t want to be first lady. She could have easily turned over the reins. In the modern era, Jackie Kennedy made a political marriage to a man she knew was likely to be “politically important” - the Kennedy’s picked her for the role. She could have married elsewhere - she was a beautiful woman who was well connected (though her family money had mostly been lost), there were other matches to be made. Lady Bird was a career woman (she wanted to be a journalist, bought a radio station with her own money, and is the first First Lady to be a self made millionaire) and her money funded Lyndon’s first campaign. Johnson would not have ever been a Senator without Lady Bird. I’d say that about a third of our historical First Ladies seem to have been “into it.” Its a little hard to tell - since for so long a woman’s place has been in the home and we haven’t always looked at our First Ladies as people who have opinions and agency. ---
**Author:** ![mistymage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mistymage/32/459_2.png) [@mistymage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mistymage)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/57 "2017-01-24T18:21:53Z")
I wonder if Melania simply suffers the affliction called “Resting Bitch Face”? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/58 "2017-01-24T19:32:14Z")
> [@mistymage](#): > > I wonder if Melania simply suffers the affliction called “Resting Bitch Face”? Michelle Obama certainly did (most women do) and no one was saying it was because she was being abused by her husband. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/59 "2017-01-24T20:27:30Z")
> [@mistymage](#): > > I wonder if Melania simply suffers the affliction called “Resting Bitch Face”? > [@Dangerosa](#): > > Michelle Obama certainly did (most women do) and no one was saying it was because she was being abused by her husband. Where do you people come up with this crap?? “Most women do”?? Holy fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001/60 "2017-01-24T20:35:01Z")
> [@Pai325](#): > > I think she married him for a specific reason, and I think she was happy keeping her end of the bargain. > > Then circumstances changed, and she is stuck in a hell she didn’t sign up for. Yes, her staff will find her a cause and help her set up school visits and whatever else she needs to make it work. She will have no problem dressing well and looking pretty at state functions. She is charming and polite, I’m sure, because that goes along with the whole trophy wife. It looks like Ivanka will take up a share of the heavy lifting. > > But none of this helps when she thought her life would be taking care of Barron, smiling in public at Donald, and being a lady who lunches. I feel sorry for her, too. like Garbo, she just wants to be let alone, but it’s not going to happen. I think this is it exactly. I’d guess Trump has threatened her with Barron, somehow, as she seems to love him very much. Most women have resting bitch face? What a sexist thing to say, and coming from what I suspect are two women, disappointing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-word-about-melania-trump/778001.md?page=4)