# A-Z: Businesses, etc., that don't exist but should (or maybe it's best that they don't) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 29, 2025, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-z-businesses-etc-that-dont-exist-but-should-or-maybe-its-best-that-they-dont/1022588 "2025-08-29T21:34:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2025, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-z-businesses-etc-that-dont-exist-but-should-or-maybe-its-best-that-they-dont/1022588/1 "2025-08-29T21:34:48Z")
I thought “businesses” would make for the best thread title, but “etc.” means we can include any organization or just an individual with some calling in life. Charities, schools, clubs, government departments, whatever. As long as the business (etc.) couldn’t exist in the real world (or, at least, you feel reasonably sure it wouldn’t), it’s good. The name alone is okay. If you want, add an advertising slogan and/or a brief description. Aaron’s Invisible Tattoos Can’t decide what design you want? Doesn’t matter! – or – All the pain, none of the art ---
**Author:** ![Steven\_Maven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steven_maven/32/3272_2.png) [@Steven\_Maven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steven_Maven)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2025, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-z-businesses-etc-that-dont-exist-but-should-or-maybe-its-best-that-they-dont/1022588/2 "2025-08-30T20:28:17Z")
Maybe you could use ink that’s only visible under ultraviolet lights? Another suggestion: Tailor to the Emperor? ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2025, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-z-businesses-etc-that-dont-exist-but-should-or-maybe-its-best-that-they-dont/1022588/3 "2025-08-30T20:42:42Z")
Sorry if I wasn’t clear. I’m thinking we list suggestions for fictional businesses, humorous or weird or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2025, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-z-businesses-etc-that-dont-exist-but-should-or-maybe-its-best-that-they-dont/1022588/4 "2025-09-01T23:03:43Z")
B - Best Little Hoecakes In Texas Open all night. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2025, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-z-businesses-etc-that-dont-exist-but-should-or-maybe-its-best-that-they-dont/1022588/5 "2025-09-02T05:57:17Z")
Cecil’s Crematorium _We will meet all your flaming needs!_ ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2025, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-z-businesses-etc-that-dont-exist-but-should-or-maybe-its-best-that-they-dont/1022588/6 "2025-09-02T06:04:57Z")
It’s an A to Z game, so let’s put it in that format. Add slogans to your post, of course. Aaron’s Invisible Tattoos Best Little Hoecakes In Texas Cecil’s Crematorium Dragons Я Us _Guarding castles holding princesses since 1132!_ ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2025, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-z-businesses-etc-that-dont-exist-but-should-or-maybe-its-best-that-they-dont/1022588/7 "2025-09-02T15:37:24Z")
Aaron’s Invisible Tattoos Best Little Hoecakes In Texas Cecil’s Crematorium Dragons Я Us EZ Loan Rangers Bringing deadbeat debtors to justice ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2025, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-z-businesses-etc-that-dont-exist-but-should-or-maybe-its-best-that-they-dont/1022588/8 "2025-09-03T04:01:17Z")
Aaron’s Invisible Tattoos Best Little Hoecakes In Texas Cecil’s Crematorium Dragons Я Us EZ Loan Rangers The Fresno Home Appendectomy Service ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2025, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-z-businesses-etc-that-dont-exist-but-should-or-maybe-its-best-that-they-dont/1022588/9 "2025-09-07T14:00:31Z")
Aaron’s Invisible Tattoos Best Little Hoecakes In Texas Cecil’s Crematorium Dragons Я Us EZ Loan Rangers The Fresno Home Appendectomy Service Greasy Spoon Dishwashers and Appliances ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2025, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-z-businesses-etc-that-dont-exist-but-should-or-maybe-its-best-that-they-dont/1022588/10 "2025-09-08T14:33:28Z")
Aaron’s Invisible Tattoos Best Little Hoecakes In Texas Cecil’s Crematorium Dragons Я Us EZ Loan Rangers The Fresno Home Appendectomy Service Greasy Spoon Dishwashers and Appliances Holographic Ancestors, Inc. _You can finally turn off your mother._ ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2025, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-z-businesses-etc-that-dont-exist-but-should-or-maybe-its-best-that-they-dont/1022588/11 "2025-09-11T17:08:24Z")
Aaron’s Invisible Tattoos Best Little Hoecakes In Texas Cecil’s Crematorium Dragons Я Us EZ Loan Rangers The Fresno Home Appendectomy Service Greasy Spoon Dishwashers and Appliances Holographic Ancestors, Inc. Iggy Pop’s Shirt Emporium ---
**Author:** ![NotEncinoMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@NotEncinoMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotEncinoMan)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2025, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-z-businesses-etc-that-dont-exist-but-should-or-maybe-its-best-that-they-dont/1022588/12 "2025-09-18T18:46:48Z")
Aaron’s Invisible Tattoos Best Little Hoecakes In Texas Cecil’s Crematorium Dragons Я Us EZ Loan Rangers The Fresno Home Appendectomy Service Greasy Spoon Dishwashers and Appliances Holographic Ancestors, Inc. Iggy Pop’s Shirt Emporium Just Kill The President No Really Just Do It Now Teen & Adolescent Counselling