# Aaaand the SO gets scammed again. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 6, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952 "2009-06-06T21:24:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/61 "2009-06-09T15:48:33Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > Are you sure she’s going to come into a significant amount of money? I’ve encountered a lot of people who genuinely believed and / or convinced others that a big windfall was on the way, when in fact it was not true. It was about as likely as a secret shopper program soliciting random people by mailing out vaild $1000 checks. I’ve known a few of those as well. “When my Dad dies, I’ll inherit his millions” - Dad dies and leaves it to stepmom (who did eventually leave her millions to the family - but thirty years later when the ‘family’ included grandkids who all got a piece - and who made a lot of charitible bequests as well - no one got millions). “When Mom dies, I’ll get all her money.” Great plan, except what she did with all her money is support your lazy ass for years, and when she died she had very little left. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/62 "2009-06-09T16:39:55Z")
Remember, life is what is happening while you’re making other plans, ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/63 "2009-06-09T16:43:00Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > I don’t think anyone is calling **Levdrakon** ’s friend an idiot for doing a mystery shopper job, only for not recognising advance-fee fraud when it was staring her in the face. If they sent you a cheque for $1000 and wanted you to wire them $940 in return, I imagine you’d be smart enough to turn them down. I still don’t know all the details or what the outcome will be. She says she checked the company out with the BBB and they have a good rep. I got taken by a scam. I have an account with BoA, and one day I got an offer in the mail from them. Actually, one of their legitimate “partners.” Totally approved by BoA. The scam is I get a free $40 gift card for trying this discount plan. I can keep the $40 and I can cancel the plan within 30 days no obligation, nothing to pay. But, I agree to let them take $15/month from my account should I chose to remain a member. Pretty obvious “scam” to me. I know the deal. They think I’ll forget and won’t cancel the account within 30 days. The _real_ scam is they know I know the deal. So they don’t send the $40 card. Then I complain and the phone keeps getting disconnected, or the signature card didn’t get sent back, or it got lost, and it’ll take 6-8 weeks to send a new one, and in the meantime they’ll send me lots of generous coupons but they don’t become valid for four months so I’d have to remain a member for those to be any good. Time goes by, they start getting my monthly membership money, I get diddly squat. I complain, complain, complain and finally one call the chirpy representative informs me I closed my membership with them during the last call. I hadn’t, of course. But, I was glad it was done because I _was_ calling to cancel. Complained to BoA, filed a complain with the FTC. Whatever. They got money out of me. Perfectly legitimate business, approved by BoA. Why should they give a shit? There’s no right or wrong, or good or evil in business. There is only legal or illegal. You know that $5K website I mentioned? Totally legal. You really do get a basic website, and you do receive about 100lbs of instructional material all about marketing and how to set yourself up so you can turn around sell the exact same deal to other people. There are legal scams, that way. If you looked that company up they’re still in business, still making scads of money. They deliver exactly what people pay for. A typical evening might be like this: She, watching Animal Planet: “I want a cheetah!” “No, it’ll eat the neighbor kids.” “I want a giraffe!” “Fine, but I’m not feeding it.” Going through her mail: “I just won a million dollars!” “Great.” “I just received a free ocean cruise for two!” “When do we leave?” “I just got a check for $1000!” “That’s nice.” When she’s on the couch casually thought-farting I don’t pay attention. Sue me. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/64 "2009-06-09T17:35:35Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Hey, you’re the one who chose to dump your purse out here for all to see. It’s not a purse, it’s a small men’s carry-all. It’s European! ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/65 "2009-06-09T17:57:06Z")
I always know when my ex-MIL is in need of money - she starts sending those “Forward this to twenty people and Bill Gates will count them and send you a check” e-mails. In her case it’s a passive-aggressive way of asking for help. I ignore it quite assertively . . . so I totally get your response. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/66 "2009-06-09T18:05:23Z")
SO/Significant Other has a commonly accepted definition. It’s used to denote a person, of either sex, who is in a longterm sexual and/or romantic relationship with someone without benefit of marriage. It doesn’t mean roomie, or cousin, or anything else other than someone in this type of relationship. I believe it was first used as a term in a census form, because so many people were in serious relationships yet were not married. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/67 "2009-06-09T19:25:42Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > I don’t think anyone is calling **Levdrakon** ’s friend an idiot for doing a mystery shopper job, only for not recognising advance-fee fraud when it was staring her in the face. Yes. I was attempting to contrast a real mystery shopper job with a scam mystery shopper job. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/68 "2009-06-09T20:08:56Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > I’ve got buns in the oven and won’t be here forever. She’s got buns in the oven (obviously we’re not talking kids) and won’t be here forever. I don’t have to be blissful every moment or I drop everything and split. I’ve got long-term plans I’m working on just like everyone else. Those are irons in the fire… I’ve always been curious about these kinds of scams…who falls for them, how the perpetrators make any money. I get that every relationship doesn’t have to be the last one you’ll ever have and so won’t join the “why are you with her?” pile on but will add my voice to the chorus of “limit your financial exposure!!!”. I still have battle to do with the credit bureaus regarding erroneous entries related to my ex - accounts he’s opened in the last 5 years but we’ve been divorced for over 10. The only thing we had that had both names on it was our car insurance and one store charge card. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/69 "2009-06-09T21:19:02Z")
> [@gwendee](#): > > I’ve always been curious about these kinds of scams…who falls for them, how the perpetrators make any money. And tangentially, who buys from telemarketers? I used to be angry at the callers but my anger shifted to those who buy, because if no one did, presumably it wouldn’t be worth calling. ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/70 "2009-06-09T22:07:37Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > I could have sworn that he’s referred to her as his wife in several threads in the past. This is getting weirder: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=10218140](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=10218140) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10736982&postcount=38](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10736982&postcount=38) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9837322&postcount=3](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9837322&postcount=3) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9970117&postcount=4](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9970117&postcount=4) And the SO: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10307141&postcount=17](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10307141&postcount=17) ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/71 "2009-06-09T22:19:58Z")
This gives me the creeps. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/72 "2009-06-09T22:22:03Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Hey, you’re the one who chose to dump your purse out here for all to see… Heh…just watched that this past weekend. Maybe **lev** ’s not-girlfriend needs some internet detention. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/73 "2009-06-09T22:24:31Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Maybe **lev** ’s not-girlfriend needs some internet detention. Detention won’t do a thing unless a mindless jock is in detention with her, for whome she can completely overhaul her self-image for. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/74 "2009-06-09T23:25:39Z")
Board stalking, my favorite. Talk about creepy. **x-ray vision** , [the marriage expert.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=3498721&postcount=1) His marriage pros: > [@](#): > > marriage pros: > > 1. Save money on automobile insurance. > > 2. If one of us is dying, the hospital will consider the other as a family member for visitation rights. (Fiancée says it doesn’t matter because it about 10 years we will be considered a common-law marriage in NJ- is this true?) > > 3. She gets my last name. > > 4. If I start my own business, I can go on her work insurance policy. ( Fiancée also says I can still do this in NJ if we are considered life partners- is this true?) First response is: [I guess people don’t get married for love and companionship anymore, eh?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=3498796&postcount=2) His response to that is: [I didn’t know that’s why people got married. Right now I have both of those things without marriage. 7 up yours, I am also a non-religious person, and I agree with what you’ve written, but I want to know how marriage can be to my benifit or to my detriment.]([http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=3498858&postcount=4](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=3498858&postcount=4)) He’s mostly in it for the financial bennies, don’t bother telling him the downsides, because, [He isn’t worried about divorce.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=3499155&postcount=11) **X-ray vision** , do you still get banned from websites and sneak back with [anonymizers?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6355896&postcount=1) BTW, is there [actually](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=149067) [anything](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=157759) [you](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=172050) [know](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=178758) [about](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=219530) [computers](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=220958) [at](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=226121) [all](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=231664) [and](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=255805) [why](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=257026) [can’t](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=268427) [you](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=268753) [just](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=273541) [try](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=290238) [reading](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=292885) [some](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=302012) [instructions](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=303593) [once](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=303718) [in](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=306286) [a](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=388842) [while](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=395838)? ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/75 "2009-06-09T23:32:47Z")
If you’re giving out completely weird and self-contradictory information, going back and searching your previous posts for clarification isn’t stalking. It’s a public service. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/76 "2009-06-10T00:06:28Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > SO/Significant Other has a commonly accepted definition. It’s used to denote a person, of either sex, who is in a longterm sexual and/or romantic relationship with someone without benefit of marriage. It doesn’t mean roomie, or cousin, or anything else other than someone in this type of relationship. I believe it was first used as a term in a census form, because so many people were in serious relationships yet were not married. How about [this.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Significant_other) > [@](#): > > Significant other (or SO) is a gender-blind, politically correct term to refer to a person’s partner in an intimate relationship without disclosing or presuming anything about their marital status or sexual orientation. It is also vague enough to avoid offence from using a term that an individual might consider inappropriate (e.g. lover when he or she considers him a boyfriend, or her a girlfriend when he or she considers her a life partner). Nonetheless, some are offended by the implication that persons with whom one is not having a “primary” sexual relationship are “insignificant” or would as a matter of course get lesser consideration and more emotional disrespect compared to the “significant” one. Honestly, I don’t understand what is so fascinating about my use of the term “SO,” nor what it has to do with someone I know falling for a scam. I’m not going to ask the thread be closed or anything lest I again be accused of “if you don’t want advice, don’t ask for it” but this has gotten really silly. If you want to start a thread about what SO means you’re welcome to. I have no plans to open a “ask the married gay guy” thread. But, if someone wants to start a thread about all the various reason gays & straights might get married they can knock themselves out. It seems quite the intriguing topic. I don’t believe anyone here is experiencing any genuine cognitive dissonance, though. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/77 "2009-06-10T00:08:22Z")
It’s ridiculous to hold the OP to some kind of legal definition of a term that was marginal to the point of the thread. Once he says it’s none of our business, I should think we should take him at his word. Assume it’s just someone of unspecified gender whom he’s living with and also fucking. That’ll do, won’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/78 "2009-06-10T00:30:37Z")
“Ah … yeah … that’ll do.” ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/79 "2009-06-10T00:53:18Z")
> [@Scissorjack](#): > > Heh. Heh heh heh heh. > > [He’s a genetically engineered day-dreaming card sharp with a passion for fast cars. She’s a man-hating foul-mouthed archaeologist with her own daytime radio talk show. They fight crime!](http://www.theyfightcrime.org/) [He’s a scrappy zombie cowboy on his last day in the job. She’s a virginal hip-hop Hell’s Angel with a flame-thrower. They fight crime!](http://www.theyfightcrime.org/) This one has Hollywood Blockbuster written _all_ over it… ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952/80 "2009-06-10T01:58:58Z")
I’m really confused now, so are you legally married to the person or aren’t you? And if you are married, then your finances are intermingled in a number of ways, which is directly relevant to the OP. Or do you have a creative interpretation of the word “wife” as well? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaand-the-so-gets-scammed-again/498952.md?page=5)