# Aaaarrrgghhh!!!! Mike Nichols must die! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 11, 2004, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300 "2004-11-11T23:56:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/21 "2004-11-12T10:59:20Z")
:rolleyes: Folks, in light of the direction this country’s going, it looks like there’s only one thing I can do. :Runs naked through thread, promoting the right of Dopers to view naked female bodies, thus displaying full frontal and back-al nudity.: Actually, if Natalie Portman’s playing a stripper, what difference is getting rid of a nude scene going to make? I could be wrong, but I don’t see much difference between stripping down to almost nothing and stripping down to nothing. If anything, according to some guys I’ve known, almost nothing can be even more provocative than nothing. No, this doesn’t mean I’ll run naked through the thread wearing only high heels and stockings; I’m way to clumsy for that, and I’d probably wind up landing in someone’s lap! 😉 CJ ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/22 "2004-11-12T12:13:24Z")
> [@Starving Artist](#): > > Friend elucidator, I have it on good authority that you are too damn old to be lusting after the likes of Natalie Portman!.. You get here first, puppy, then you start in telling me how to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/23 "2004-11-12T12:53:53Z")
Why do people say “gratuitous” as if it were a bad thing? Oh, and good one, **Brutus**. (Won’t hear me say **that** very often…) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/24 "2004-11-12T13:49:11Z")
Is there objective evidence that Natalie Portman, in fact, HAS a good body? She’s pretty, but for all we know the rest of the goods are unimpressive. She might have Paltrowboobs or labia the size of mudflaps. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/25 "2004-11-12T14:57:36Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > …labia the size of mudflaps. Oh shit. Nice. AHAHAHAHAHA 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/26 "2004-11-12T15:12:49Z")
The footage will undoubtedly make its way from the cutting-room floor onto a porn site near you. Be of good cheer. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/27 "2004-11-12T16:10:39Z")
> [@Siege](#): > > No, this doesn’t mean I’ll run naked through the thread wearing only high heels and stockings; I’m way to clumsy for that, and I’d probably wind up landing in someone’s lap! 😉 > > CJ So I guess I don’t need to be sitting here next to the runway? And my lap is currently unoccupied, too. ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/28 "2004-11-12T16:43:14Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Paltrowboobs or labia the size of mudflaps. \ “Jodietits” is also in my vocabulary. Seeing _Nell_ cured me of any lust for Ms Foster. When did GP show her jubblies? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/29 "2004-11-12T16:44:16Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > …She’s pretty, but for all we know the rest of the goods are unimpressive. She might have Paltrowboobs or labia the size of mudflaps. In my own case, a matter of the docking port appropriate to the docking module. YPMV. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/30 "2004-11-12T17:42:42Z")
> [@Padeye](#): > > \ > “Jodietits” is also in my vocabulary. Seeing _Nell_ cured me of any lust for Ms Foster. > > When did GP show her jubblies? I believe that was _Shakespear in Love_, if not others. **Siege** , I find your naivete charming! 😉 My theory is that all men (okay, a large majority, a mandate, even) want to see all women nekkid, at least once. Objectively, I know that there is not a whole lot of difference between naked women (within certain limits, guys, come on!), but if you tell me you have a picture of some woman I haven’t seen naked before, I’m gonna take a look. They haven’t made major changes to the model in the past forever years, but I’m still occasionally going to pay for the privilege of seeing different women starkers (magazines, online, renting _Eyes Wide Shut_, even though I expect it to stink). We just have to check everyone off the list, is all. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/31 "2004-11-12T17:44:11Z")
Um, they used to spell it Shakespeare. Moving along now… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/32 "2004-11-12T18:02:47Z")
And just exactly what is wrong with Gwennyth Paltrows tits? Oh, I get it. They’re _too_ perfect. I agree. The first time I saw them, I pulled a groin muscle. Repeatedly. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/33 "2004-11-12T18:08:43Z")
Why does she play a stripper if she wants to avoid nude scenes !!! I’m with Dio on this… death penalty for prudes ! ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/34 "2004-11-12T18:46:28Z")
> [@Jackknifed Juggernaut](#): > > Don’t worry. Those deleted scenes will pop up on the internet soon enough. Goddamn right they better. That grimy ass-weasel! Fucknugget! Shitbag! Oh, the humanity! ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/35 "2004-11-12T18:59:28Z")
Its a good thing this is a “males only” thread, I’d hate to have the women I know find out what depraved horn-dogs we are…what? Really? Oh. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/36 "2004-11-12T21:15:32Z")
> [@Padeye](#): > > \ > “Jodietits” is also in my vocabulary. Seeing _Nell_ cured me of any lust for Ms Foster. > > When did GP show her jubblies? Ms. Paltrow’s pongles were on display in “Shakespeare in Love,” and also in one infamous Oscars outfit. I must sadly concur that Ms. Foster’s funbags are of shockingly low quality. ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms_1)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/37 "2004-11-12T22:16:34Z")
But surely… I mean… What if… Oh god I can’t do this it’s just never going to be OK is it? BOOOBIES! COME BACK! WE LOVE YOU! BOOOOOOOOOBIES? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![pervert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbe5ce/32.png) [@pervert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pervert)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/38 "2004-11-12T22:19:37Z")
\*\*Diogenes the Cynic \*\* I have chastized you a few times in the past for your over the top passion. Allow me to applaud your application of it in this instance. I see my interests in Hollywood are well looked after. Thanks vey much and keep up the good work. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/39 "2004-11-12T23:46:31Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Its a good thing this is a “males only” thread, I’d hate to have the women I know find out what depraved horn-dogs we are…what? Really? > > Oh. Ahem. :rolleyes: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2004, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300/40 "2004-11-13T12:07:18Z")
It could be worse. I ran naked through the thread, and apparently **elucidator** still thinks it’s a males-only thread. I’m going to have to check with a gentleman or two I know in real life and make sure everything’s still where and what it was! :rolleyes: A most assuredly female CJ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaaarrrgghhh-mike-nichols-must-die/274300.md?page=3)