# AAAHHH! Nigerian Zombie Scam! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 18, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514 "2005-08-18T01:24:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/1 "2005-08-18T01:24:06Z")
Yay! I got my first Nigerian Scam e-mail, but with a disturbing twist. Apparently, there’s a corpse involved, and I have to meet him/it. To wit: > [@Sincere Nigerian Lawyer BINANG J. JAMES (ESQ)](#): > > I am Brr. Binang J. James, a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to > Mr.George [Lacha], a national of your country, who lived in Nigeria, Here in > after shall be referred to as my client. [SNIP] Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives, \*\*I now seek your > consent to present you as the next of kin to my late client \*\*since you have > the same surname so that the Proceeds of this account valued atUSD$28.8 > million dollars can be paid to you. Bolding mine. Ew! So I gotta be presented to his late client, my long-lost … whatever, Georgie Lacha? What, is he stuffed in the lawyer’s office? Taxidermized, and in a ferocious pose? Or perhaps he’s mounted on the wall, on a lovely teak plaque. Or worse, he’s simple been allowed to air-dry, and now he’s in a little shrine, ready to be worshipped as the ancestor he is (to me). My greatest fear is that he’s restless, and that he hungers for my delicious related brains. Maybe that’s his kink: he can only eat the brains of relatives, and he’s employed this highly professional Brr. James to lure his blood meals to him. I don’t know; I’m of two (delicious) minds: do I play it safe and stay right here at home, or do I board a big ol’ jet air liner and possibly meet my doom? USD$28.8 million dollars is an _awful_ big inducement for taking a risk. What say all of you? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2005, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/2 "2005-08-18T01:26:58Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > What say all of you? Finally, a Nigerian deal that sounds legit. Go for it. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2005, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/3 "2005-08-18T01:33:58Z")
I got a slightly different one and I responded to it: [snip] I am Barrister Thomas Doyle, a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to late Mr. Pitt Pacer, who used to work with Pan African Coporation in Nigeria. Here in after shall be referred to as my client. On the 21st of April 2000, my client, his wife and their only daughter were involved in a car accident along sagbama express road. [/snip] They all got killed. We want to transfer money to you as next of kin blah, blah, blah * * * I responded: That is horrible. I knew Uncle Pitt and Aunt Doylene when I was growing up but my family lost track of them after he moved to Egypt to work in international relations. I didn’t even know if they ever had a child. I knew that they were trying hard before they left but he had fertility problems. I can’t ever imagine why he never contacted his family again. I just called my aunt to tell her the news and she is destroyed. We are going to arrange a memorial service next Monday, November 1st at our church. Do you have any personal trinkets such as pictures, letters, or favorite knickknacks that we can use for the service? I know that it will be hard to get them from here from Nigeria so fast but we can pay for rapid delivery. Let me know and we can work out the details of the money transfer in a few days after the service is over. They never sent me a response back. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/4 "2005-08-18T01:39:22Z")
Twenty eight million for a Nigerian Zombie? Such a Deal! Ask for pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2005, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/5 "2005-08-18T11:51:49Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > They never sent me a response back. Those heartless bastards! Can’t they see you’re _hurting_?!? Oddly enough, my great-uncle/cousin George also died in an accident. Maybe we should contact the Nigerian highway department and ask them to do something in the memory of our deceased, fabulously wealthy relatives. ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/6 "2005-08-19T14:02:40Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > What say all of you? I say you check with [the experts](http://www.419eater.com/) for tips and then string them along for laughs. If you get any [trophy pictures](http://www.419eater.com/html/hall_of_shame.htm) then please share them with us… ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/7 "2005-08-19T14:12:57Z")
I’m picturing an _SNL_ sketch, c1979, with Garrett Morris as: “Binang J. James, Sincere Nigerian Lawyer.” ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/8 "2005-08-19T14:18:32Z")
You cynical bastards are just going to make it that much harder when a real Nigerian is in dire financial straits! I think this Brr. Binang J. James esq. seems honest enough, give him a chance to prove himself otherwise. Jeez…you people! Nobody wants to help strangers anymore! It’s no wonder the facists are taking over! “I’m of two (delicious) minds” … I’ll be giggling all day now. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/9 "2005-08-19T14:25:02Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > I’m picturing an _SNL_ sketch, c1979, with Garrett Morris as: “Binang J. James, Sincere Nigerian Lawyer.” I’m going to be singing the “I’m Gonna Get Me A Shotgun” song all day now, thanks, **Eve**. 🙂 Maybe old Uncle George, can only survive on American braaaaaains? ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/10 "2005-08-19T14:48:33Z")
I don’t think it’s so much the case that old Uncle George can only survive on American braaaaaains, as that American braaaaaains tend to be fat and juicy and therefore much tastier to a zombie than the local stuff. Not to mention, if someone actually responds to this email, it indicates their braaaaaain is fairly well unused and therefore extra savory – kind of like the braaaaaain version of veal. I can just hear Uncle George now. MMmmmmmmm … Tender American braaaaaains … ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/11 "2005-08-19T15:05:34Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > I’m picturing an _SNL_ sketch, c1979, with Garrett Morris as: “Binang J. James, Sincere Nigerian Lawyer.” And you **know** that a 1970’s-era three piece suit would be such a _perfect_ look … ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/12 "2005-08-19T16:18:49Z")
I assume that the “Brr.” in “Brr. Binang J. James” stands for “barrister,” but damned if I can’t help reading it as “Brer.” “Skin me, Brer Binang, snatch out my eyeballs, t’ar out my yeras by de roots, en cut off my legs, but do please, Brer Binang, don’t fling me in dat Nigerian e-mail scam!” ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/13 "2005-08-19T17:24:36Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I assume that the “Brr.” in “Brr. Binang J. James” stands for “barrister,” but damned if I can’t help reading it as “Brer.” > > “Skin me, Brer Binang, snatch out my eyeballs, t’ar out my yeras by de roots, en cut off my legs, but do please, Brer Binang, don’t fling me in dat Nigerian e-mail scam!” either that or he’s reeealy cold… Meh!, Binang if you really want to experience _real_ cold weather, come up to New England (or Minnesota) in the dead of winter, _then_ you’ll have a real reason to say Brr… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/14 "2005-08-19T19:05:19Z")
**Miller** , that ruled. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aaahhh-nigerian-zombie-scam/317514/15 "2005-08-20T06:09:32Z")
Rrrgh…me need get braaains out of zombie island. You open up you skull, me put extra braaains in, you take braaains back to free world. Everyone win. That the ticket.