# Aargh! Hoist the Jolly Roger Me Buckos **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 30, 2001, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837 "2001-08-30T00:36:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/41 "2001-08-30T19:11:55Z")
Red Morgan Bonney, I am! Passion is, apparently, a big part of my life, arrgh. 🙂 Say, that’s a nice swash you have there…Maybe I could unbuckle it one of these days? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/42 "2001-08-30T19:14:55Z")
**Mad Sam Cash** We’re all mad, mad I tell you! Wonder exactly what made us cranky? So these 2 pirates are drinking in a bar. The younger one notices his drinking companion is pretty beat up - a hook, pegleg, eyepatch. So he asks him how he came by his injuries. (Leaving the pirate argot to those of you who do it better than I) The old pirate says, “I lost me leg on my first voyage. I happened to fall overboard right into a school of sharks. Just as I was being hauled back on board, a great white leaped up and took off my leg.” “Wow!” says the youngun. “And the hook?” “Well, that happened on me first voyage after I was fitted with me peg. We boarded a merchant vessel. The fighting was fast and furious, and a fellow lopped me hand off just as I run him through.” “Oh my!” says his companion. “And the eyepatch?” “I had just gotten out of me sickbed after osing me hand, and was back on board. I heard a sound overhead and when I looked up, a seagull shat in me eye.” “Wait a minute! You lose your leg to a shark, and then your hand in combat. After going through all that, you’re going to tell me that you lost your eye to a mere bird dropping?” “Well, you see, matey. It was me first day with me new hook.” Thank you. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/43 "2001-08-30T19:25:19Z")
Black Anne Cash. How cool. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/44 "2001-08-30T19:29:46Z")
**Black Anne Flint** here. (I told 'em my favorite color is black.) “Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. Like the rock flint, you’re hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you’re easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!” All righty, ya scowlin’ sons o’ landlubbers! Into me cabin and unbuckle yer swash! Arrr! ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/45 "2001-08-30T19:32:27Z")
Oh, darn! **Cosmopolitan** got to the swash-unbuckling joke before I did! So…_were_ there pirates in Shakespeare? ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/46 "2001-08-30T20:05:40Z")
I be Iron John Kidd. Remember lads, first ye pillage, _then_ ye burn! A pirate’s life isn’t easy; it takes a tough person. That’s okay with you, though, since you are that person. Even though you’re not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr! ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/47 "2001-08-30T20:22:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Red Prudentilla Kidd > > Passion is a big part of your life, which makes sense for a pirate. Even though you’re not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr! Well, alrighty then! ---
**Author:** ![Iguana\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@Iguana\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iguana_Boy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/48 "2001-08-30T22:23:42Z")
Bloody Sam Bonney at yer service. “Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it’s the open sea. For others (the masochists), it’s the food. For you, it’s definitely the fighting. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate’s life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!” ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/49 "2001-08-30T22:33:19Z")
I’m Mad Anne Bonney – part of the ever-growing Bonney clan. Pour, O pour the pirate sherry… 😃 And yes, **a35362** , there were pirates in _Hamlet._ Well, we don’t get to _see_ them, but Hamlet has an offstage encounter with them en route to England. But you don’t need to take my word for it – here’s the passage in question, in which Horatio reads a letter he’s just received from Hamlet: > [@](#): > > Ere we were two days old at sea, a pirate of very warlike appointment gave us chase. Finding ourselves too slow of sail, we put on a compelled valour, and in the grapple I boarded them: on the instant they got clear of our ship; so I alone became their prisoner. They have dealt with me like thieves of mercy: but they knew what they did; I am to do a good turn for them. ---
**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/50 "2001-08-30T22:43:52Z")
Dread Pirate Rackham Like the famous Dread Pirate Roberts, you have a keen head for how to make a profit. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr! HAHA! ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/51 "2001-08-30T23:33:18Z")
Arr, mateys, so what’s the name of our bonny ship ? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/52 "2001-08-31T00:49:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Arr, mateys, so what’s the name of our bonny ship ? The good ship _ **Venus** _! **WARNING! RIBALD LYRICS AHEAD!** (Don’t read them if you are easily offended.) \*It was on the good ship _Venus_ By Christ, you should have seen us The figurehead was a whore in bed And the mast was a rampant penis The captain of this lugger He was a dirty bugger He wasn’t fit to shovel shit From one place to another (chorus) Friggin’ in the riggin’ Friggin’ in the riggin’ Friggin’ in the riggin’ There was fuck-all else to do! The captain’s name was Morgan By Christ, he was a gorgon Six times each day sweet tunes he’d play On his reproductive organ The first mate’s name was Cooper By Christ, he was a trouper He jerked and jerked until he worked Himself into a stupor (chorus) The second mate was Andy By Christ, he had a dandy 'Til the crushed his cock with a jagged rock For cumming in the brandy The cabin boy was Chipper He was a little nipper They stuffed his ass with broken glass And circumcised the skipper (chorus) The captain’s wife was Mabel To fuck, she wasn’t able So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits Across the barroom table The captain had a daughter Who fell in deap sea water Delighted squeels revealed the eels Had found her sexual quarter (chorus, repeat and fade) ---
**Author:** ![Ferggie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@Ferggie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferggie)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/53 "2001-08-31T03:12:36Z")
**Mad Bess Read** atcher service! I’m crazy but artistic! (Hey, wait, that would be **Ferggie**.) ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837/54 "2001-08-31T11:36:07Z")
**Iron Davy Read** here. “Even through many pirates have a reputation for not being the brightest souls on earth, you defy the sterotypes. You’ve got taste and education. Arr!” So, yo-ho-ho and a barrel of Cabernet Sauvignon! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aargh-hoist-the-jolly-roger-me-buckos/78837.md?page=2)