# aarp - stuck on stupid or smoking crack? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 15, 2016, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aarp-stuck-on-stupid-or-smoking-crack/743287 "2016-01-15T22:38:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2016, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aarp-stuck-on-stupid-or-smoking-crack/743287/1 "2016-01-15T22:38:05Z")
Or did they hire Rachel from Card Services to increase their membership? For real, what the hell is wrong with those people? They seriously NEVER GIVE UP! Do they think they are going to wear me down? Make me give up and join them? Can they not understand the word ‘NO’? Can they not understand ‘I am NOT interested’, ‘Leave me alone’, ‘Please stop mailing me’? Why would they want me when I so clearly have stated I do NOT want them? The more obnoxious they become in their pursuit of me the less chance there is that I will even join them. Don’t they know that I know they just want me for my money? I have asked them to stop sending mail to me. They stopped for a bit, then it started again. I TOLD them to stop mailing me. I had to tell them again, that time with lots of expletives. Why would I want to join such an obnoxious organization? They stopped for a bit, and I thought they finally got the message. But NO… Today I get another letter from them… Thanking me for joining, and they (thoughtfully) enclosed my invoice. They also included a postage paid return envelope. I wonder what I could (thoughtfully) enclose in return? I can think of a few things, but the envelope is a bit small. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aarp-stuck-on-stupid-or-smoking-crack/743287/2 "2016-01-16T01:05:41Z")
Toilet tissue comes to mind. Stain it with something like brown food coloring, something with no scent. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aarp-stuck-on-stupid-or-smoking-crack/743287/3 "2016-01-16T01:10:37Z")
They never give up. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aarp-stuck-on-stupid-or-smoking-crack/743287/4 "2016-01-16T01:13:53Z")
They sent me a temporary membership card, to use until my check clears and they send me a permanent one. I’ve been using the temporary one to get motel discounts for 15 years. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aarp-stuck-on-stupid-or-smoking-crack/743287/5 "2016-01-16T01:36:26Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > They also included a postage paid return envelope. > > I wonder what I could (thoughtfully) enclose in return? > > I can think of a few things, but the envelope is a bit small. Packing tape it to a brick. Seriously, don’t open the next envelope, cross out your name & write “Return, refused” on it & put it right back in the mailbox. BTW, I got my first membership application from them while I was still in high school. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aarp-stuck-on-stupid-or-smoking-crack/743287/6 "2016-01-16T02:17:34Z")
I’ve heard that they are starting to recruit younger and younger people. Wonder how long before they are standing in maternity wards trying to sign up the newborns? ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aarp-stuck-on-stupid-or-smoking-crack/743287/7 "2016-01-16T02:28:34Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > Packing tape it to a brick. This does no good – the Postal Service just discards it at your local post office. And they continue their extensive mailing efforts because it works – they continue to grow at an impressive rate. (Especially considering that about 2,000,000 member die each year.) Since seniors are now doing much more online, AARP is also greatly increasing their email solicitations. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aarp-stuck-on-stupid-or-smoking-crack/743287/8 "2016-01-16T16:02:24Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > Seriously, don’t open the next envelope, cross out your name & write “Return, refused” on it & put it right back in the mailbox. Won’t work either. Their solicitations are sent bulk rate, the post office tosses those too. The PO only returns stuff that is first class mail and above. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aarp-stuck-on-stupid-or-smoking-crack/743287/9 "2016-01-16T16:09:45Z")
It really pisses me off that they say I joined and sent me a bill. Of course I’m not paying the damn bill - I never signed up for them. I am sooooo looking forward to my membership package. :rolleyes: I’m sending it back in their postage paid envelope along with the rest of their garbage - shredded. I wrote a nasty message across the bill as well. Not that it will do any good, I’m sure it’s all automated and nobody will see it ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aarp-stuck-on-stupid-or-smoking-crack/743287/10 "2016-01-16T16:40:48Z")
Send it back to them marked, “DECEASED”. They usually quit after that, but it’s not guaranteed.