# ABC Family Channel, you gotta be shitting me. (perhaps lame, but fuck 'em anyway!) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 13, 2008, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991 "2008-12-13T05:27:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/1 "2008-12-13T05:27:57Z")
Watched Chronicles of Narnia tonight on ABC Family Channel. Never saw it, was looking forward to it. Until I discovered the format ABCFC stuck to without exception: Exactly 8.5 minutes of movie followed by exactly 6.5 minutes of commercials. I fucking felt like I was being tortured! Every commercial break and run of the movie was identical. I timed them. I don’t recall ever watching anything that had that many commercials after showing such a small amount of the fucking program! Jebus Khrist! ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/2 "2008-12-13T05:34:09Z")
I hardly ever watch movies on broadcast TV and regular cable channels. Too many and too long commercial breaks. Jesus, half the time I forget what I am watching and end up passing the channel to something else. Cable movie channels and DVD’s are the way to go. ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/3 "2008-12-13T05:36:05Z")
I once watched _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_ on ABC Family, and they cut out the entire boatride scene! They’ve been my mortal enemy ever since. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/4 "2008-12-13T05:39:46Z")
inb4 huge pile on of bleeting sheep that the op should just not watch it and is perhaps a waste of flesh for daring to complain at all. ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/5 "2008-12-13T05:41:18Z")
I once watched _Willy Wonka_ uncensored in a psychiatric ward for crazy and druggie adolescents. I’ve always wondered about the nurse who made that particular movie choice. Some movies are almost made to be watched with commercials, but they’re almost all the kind you only watch basically by accident. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/6 "2008-12-13T05:50:42Z")
Well duh, commercials are the content of broadcast television. Movies and shows and stuff, they’re just filler. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/7 "2008-12-13T06:03:57Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Well duh, commercials are the content of broadcast television. Movies and shows and stuff, they’re just filler. Usually not this bad, though! Most standard broadcast programming runs 22 minutes of the show per half hour. That’s a ratio of 11:4 show v.s. commercials. This movie was running at a ratio of 4.25:3.25 show v. commercials. That’s an insane extreme. ---
**Author:** ![kitemaker\_chuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a88e4f/32.png) [@kitemaker\_chuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitemaker_chuck)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/8 "2008-12-13T06:13:34Z")
I don’t like to watch movies on the regular broadcast channels. Most of the otherwise fine movies are butchered to banality. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/9 "2008-12-13T06:36:35Z")
You need a DVR. We record nearly everything now to watch at our convenience and skip through the commercials. What little we watch “live”, we wait until 20 minutes after the start time and begin then, so we have a nice time cushion to fast forward through the commercials. The only drawback to this plan is that I mostly don’t know what everyone’s talking about in the commercials you love/loathe threads. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/10 "2008-12-13T06:51:23Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > You need a DVR. Got one. I didn’t want to wait to watch this flick once I knew it was on. I should have just ran to Blockbuster and rented the fucking DVD for $4.:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Skylark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Skylark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skylark)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/11 "2008-12-13T08:36:05Z")
I’ll save you 3 of those dollars. Go to a McDonald’s and find a RedBox. Those’ll cost you a buck. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/12 "2008-12-13T14:08:33Z")
Couple of weeks back I saw a movie cut like that, and as I think about it, it probably was on ABC-F. Hideously annoying. _Twenty-six minutes per hour._ Why don’t they just forget about programming (saving themselves the cost thereof) and run just infomercials? Their tune-out ratio must be higher than their IQs. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/13 "2008-12-13T15:03:44Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > Got one. I didn’t want to wait to watch this flick once I knew it was on. > > I should have just ran to Blockbuster and rented the fucking DVD for $4.:smack: When this happens to me, I restrain myself for about 20 minutes, THEN start watching it. That usually is enough to be able to skip through the commercials. Throw in a bathroom/snack break, and you’re gold. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/14 "2008-12-13T15:13:48Z")
> [@Skylark](#): > > I’ll save you 3 of those dollars. Go to a McDonald’s and find a RedBox. Those’ll cost you a buck. Fuck that. In just the last month, I’ve rented two movies from one of those things that wouldn’t read in my DVD player. I, for one, am now perfectly willing to spend the extra three bucks for the piece of mind that I’ll be able to _watch_ the damn movie. And fuck the family channel. I can’t respect any network that carries the damn _700 Club_ ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/15 "2008-12-13T16:26:15Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > Watched Chronicles of Narnia tonight on ABC Family Channel. Never saw it, was looking forward to it. > > Until I discovered the format ABCFC stuck to without exception: > > Exactly 8.5 minutes of movie followed by exactly 6.5 minutes of commercials. I fucking felt like I was being tortured! Every commercial break and run of the movie was identical. I timed them. > > I don’t recall ever watching anything that had that many commercials after showing such a small amount of the fucking program! Jebus Khrist! As I am one of those rare people who still use a VCR, I find this very helpful information. I’ve never seen the movie either and taped it last night to watch it tomorrow. Assuming the commercials are 30 seconds long each, I now know I’ll be skipping 13 commercials at a time. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/16 "2008-12-13T18:17:54Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > When this happens to me, I restrain myself for about 20 minutes, THEN start watching it. That usually is enough to be able to skip through the commercials. Bingo. And make sure the delay is long enough—it’s annoying to be skipping past commercials and have the \*\*LIVE TV \*\* logo pop up halfway through a Subway commercial. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/17 "2008-12-13T20:27:38Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > Watched Chronicles of Narnia tonight on ABC Family Channel. Never saw it, was looking forward to it. > > Until I discovered the format ABCFC stuck to without exception: > > Exactly 8.5 minutes of movie followed by exactly 6.5 minutes of commercials. I fucking felt like I was being tortured! Every commercial break and run of the movie was identical. I timed them. > > I don’t recall ever watching anything that had that many commercials after showing such a small amount of the fucking program! Jebus Khrist! Honey, you’ve obviously never watched BET, especially when broadcasting _The Wire_. What does it take to make an originally 55-minute show last 1.5 hours (with many entire scenes cut)? You guessed it. ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/18 "2008-12-13T21:32:31Z")
If it’s not on TCM, it’s not even worth watching anymore. The flood of commercials has blissfully driven me into discovering classic films. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/19 "2008-12-13T22:31:22Z")
In fairness, TCM rarely shows actual penetration. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2008, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991/20 "2008-12-14T07:00:07Z")
> [@Skylark](#): > > I’ll save you 3 of those dollars. Go to a McDonald’s and find a RedBox. Those’ll cost you a buck. What’s a RedBox?😕 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abc-family-channel-you-gotta-be-shitting-me-perhaps-lame-but-fuck-em-anyway/476991.md?page=2)