# Abilities you wish you didn't have **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 16, 2000, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500 "2000-11-16T19:39:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/21 "2000-11-17T02:38:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Suo Na \* > \*\*I wish I were tone deaf. I don’t have perfect pitch, but it’s close enough that when a singer is just a bit off it’s like fingernails on a chalk board to me. I wince very visibly when it happens, too. > > So if you see me covering my ears in a restaurant when the wait staff sing “Happy Birthday”, you know why. \*\* Ah, I have this same problem. It’s even worse when I’m with my one friend who has this ability, too. One off-key note and we both wince and give each other this look. True, I like that I have good pitch but it ruins me when I hear otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/22 "2000-11-17T02:42:50Z")
I wish I didn’t have the ability to be so manipulative and cruel. When I want my way, I won’t stop at anything to get it. I also use guilt trips and reverse psychology so well that it scares me at times. It’s mean though, and I wish it would stop. I wish I didn’t have the ability to think of any perverted thing in the world for no good reason at all. I can be sitting in church praying and all of a sudden BAM! some super nasty image comes into my head. I could be sitting in Government class. I could be eating lunch. AAAA! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![SpinneZiege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SpinneZiege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinneZiege)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/23 "2000-11-17T02:55:21Z")
I’m going to have my friend write this one: “I wish he didn’t have the ability to: tell pointless stories, be so uncoordinated, not to understand basic concepts.” -Martin Jester would definitely agree with these ones. ---
**Author:** ![orion007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@orion007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orion007)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/24 "2000-11-17T03:01:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*The ability to flirt without realizing it. \*\* I’ve got that too and I hate it… at school I’ll be talking to some guy and afterward my friends will go, “Oh do you like this guy or something? You were flirting with him BIG TIME.” I never notice. ---
**Author:** ![poohpah\_chalupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/91b2a8/32.png) [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/25 "2000-11-17T03:19:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hypergirl \* > \*\*The ability to make a cute sqeaky noise whenever somebody pokes me. God does that get aggravating when people won’t stop poking you, just so they can hear you squeak. \*\* Oh my gawd, what does this mean? hypergirl’s a “squeaker?” And people are just _poking_ her?!!! Oh, you mean poke with a _finger_. Sorry. “Okay people, break it up…nothing to see here. Move along…” ---
**Author:** ![wyldelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@wyldelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wyldelf)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/26 "2000-11-17T03:33:48Z")
I wish I didn’t have the ability to analyse people’s gestures. Over the years I have become rather more cynical than I would wish to be and now I find it very hard to accept a kind gesture without looking for alterior motives. I am blessed by the most wonderful friends imaginable and they have done a lot to help me regain some trust in humanity but I still have a little way to go. I also wish I didn’t have the ability to be such a bitch. I used to be sarcastic to an unattractive degree (stemming from the same initial life experiences as above). It was my safety-net and a facade to hide behind when I was insecure/afraid. Now I am making a huge effort to trust people and look for the good not the bad (as we all have some of that). _cross fingers_ I think I am a much nicer person now than even 6 months ago. I also wish I didn’t have the ability to be able to blurt out this crap to people I don’t know (though I have heard wonderful things about a lot of you) :o Oh and definately the squeaky thing with tickling - I wish I didn’t have that 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/27 "2000-11-17T04:41:08Z")
I wish I didn’t have a permanent, phonographically accurate memory of every conversation in which I’ve humiliated myself in any way. And now that I’m all grown up and it doesn’t matter, I wish I didn’t have the gift of acing standardized tests with no preparation or thought. It’s a useful parlor trick, but it isn’t really fair … and it took me too many years to figure out that it _didn’t_ mean I was smarter than my peers. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/28 "2000-11-17T06:50:05Z")
I wish I was able to lie better for the times when I really need it. I wish I wasn’t so polite and so end up stuck talking with some weird guy who creeps me out because I’m too polite to tell him to piss off or just walk off and leave him. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/29 "2000-11-17T15:22:17Z")
Ahh! the squeaky thing! ditto. “But you’re so cute when…” is a horrible, horrible statement. And thanks for the catch 'punha…you always seem to be able to kick me properly when I’m being mean to myself. [sub] not that I don’t deserve it…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/30 "2000-11-17T17:43:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Thirsty4 \* > \*\*lurking > > I’m making small steps to overcome. \*\* You’d BETTER! _waves_ Miss ya, hon! ---
**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/31 "2000-11-17T18:22:54Z")
I wish I didn’t have the ability to fade into the background and be overlooked by everyone else. This ability is almost always activated and is on at full force when I go to parties or gatherings. It was so bad for awhile that I wondered if I truly turned invisible. Things are a little better since I married my husband. When we go out, people see my husband and eventually notice me too. I’m also a “squeaker”. My husband loves to make me squeak with random tickle attacks. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/32 "2000-11-17T18:26:44Z")
Note to self #1 - Don’t piss off Turpentine. Note to self #2 - If my family needs cash, take out a huge life insurance policy then piss off Turpentine. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/33 "2000-11-17T18:52:11Z")
The ability to say anything and have someone take it out of context. This always makes for amusing moments when I’m talking to people who think too fast and I’m not paying attention to how I word things. This often leads to the other ability I have: to accidentally flirt with anyone and possibly everyone. I don’t have a natural flirt mode that I go into, I just talk to everyone the same way unless I feel like being a bitch to someone I don’t want around me because they’re a moron. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/34 "2000-11-17T20:22:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Medea’s Child \* > \*\*I wish I wasn’t so good at manipulating people. > > I can be a hardcore manipulative bitch. Its a trait, not really a goal or a pastime. I don’t like the idea that I can, because then when good stuff happens a tiny part of me always wonders if its truly out of nowhere or if I made it happen by ‘adjusting’ people. And how long its going to take them to wise up and figure out that it wasn’t real. > > It makes it really hard to accept compliments. I’m serious when I say, “Oh, you’re just saying that…” > > (Except when it’s an Irish accent…sooo pretty I wish it would stick. I want one…) \*\* Ah, so when I complimented you the other day, and you did the duck and run, I wasn’t doing it on my own, I was being controlled…hmmm… \ "Sure, and ‘twas was bein’ manipulated, I was… \ Seriously, Medea, you may just have to face the fact people like you. After crossing posts a few times, I must admit I got curious and looked for a picture, and you’re a real beauty. While that would certainly help manipulate men IRL if you were so inclined (we do follow that handle pretty readily), it wouldn’t help much with men who live hundreds or thousands of miles away and will probably never see you IRL, and certainly not with women (some of whom may hate you for the way you look). Your major was Chem Eng, wasn’t it? Therefore, you’re nice, pretty, and smart. Disregrd this if you want, but I’m \*\*NOT \*\* taking it back. You need a little more self-confidence, girl. Gonna hafta sic DRY on you again. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/35 "2000-11-17T20:55:05Z")
I wish I never admitted knowing how to fix the damn copier or add toner. I wish I couldn’t hear sarcasm in everything. I wish my sense of smell wasn’t quite so acute, or perhaps if I could just make it less when away from home. Squeeky/Invisible in crowds – I wish for that too. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2000, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/36 "2000-11-18T11:11:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \* > \*\* You need a little more self-confidence, girl. > Gonna hafta sic DRY on you again. \*\* _Ahem_ What does this mean? What has she been telling you about me? Or what’s being written about DRY in the SDMB women’s bathroom? Or the SDMB men’s bathroom, for that matter? As for me, yeah, like I need URGING to chase after certain women… My ability that I wish I didn’t have? Maybe the one that makes people see me and say, “There, but for the grace of god, go I…” ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2000, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/37 "2000-11-18T11:38:54Z")
I’m a squeaker, too. It’s not nearly as much fun as it sounds. As for me, I’m hoping for a cure for my hopeless romantic-ness. It’s gotten me into trouble way too often to be anything good for me. ---
**Author:** ![SpinneZiege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SpinneZiege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinneZiege)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/38 "2000-11-22T03:53:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\* > As for me, I’m hoping for a cure for my hopeless romantic-ness. It’s gotten me into trouble way too often to be anything good for me. \*\* I also have that problem. I wish girls that I didn’t like wouldn’t fall in love with me so damn often. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/39 "2000-11-22T04:37:59Z")
Abilities I with I didn’t have? Hmmm… These days, I wish I didn’t have the ability to sleep through just about _any_ form of wake-up alarm. Including smoke alarms. I also wish I wasn’t able to recall every social and/or relationship failure I’ve commited in the past thirty years, while forgetting the succeses, if any. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500/40 "2000-11-22T04:41:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hypergirl \* > \*\*The ability to make a cute sqeaky noise whenever somebody pokes me. God does that get aggravating when people won’t stop poking you, just so they can hear you squeak. \*\* But it’s so much fun to poke you. Just ask Ravid. 😉 I hate how I can gross out some of my guy friends and they get all weirded out and almost offended by it. I don’t mind when they like the fact that I can gross them out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abilities-you-wish-you-didnt-have/41500.md?page=3)