Unlikely, not never happens. That there are limited examples of this doesn’t prove it is commonplace. That West Ham won the F.A. Cup in 1980 while playing in what was then the Second Division doesn’t make an assumption that “any team winning the F.A. Cup is unlikely to come from outside the top flight of football.”
You’re also ignoring the “had a positive relationship with them” part. Unless you know that these ‘men’ who went to court over this had that positive relationship, they aren’t really data points, are they?
Do you know what chivalry means? That you think that looking after your child is ‘chivalry’ is indicative of your mindset.
I don’t know. Was there? And if taking care of my child means my wife/girlfriend thinks I am a chump, again, I’ll take that. I’m sorry your self worth is so wrapped up in the opinion of a woman who cheated on you, in your silly little hypothetical example.
Not everything has to be looked at in absolutist terms. That comment from Strossen wasn’t that you must be wrong if people with odious views are on your side, but that when they are, it should give you pause for thought. I wasn’t suggesting you change your opinion because people who clearly believe in Randian claptrap hold a similar one, but that it should, at least, trigger something in your mind.
If I find myself on the same side on an issue as Illinois Nazis, for example, I look closely once again at my views. That was all I was suggesting, and, indeed, all that Ms. Strossen so much more eloquently that I suggested.
I think, all things considered, it would depend for me.
I wouldn’t love the kid any less but if I didn’t stick around for the Mother, my time spent with the kid would be substantial and in that scenario I would not even have the option of suing for custody of my supposed loved child.
Children are a tough decision any way you put it, we all love them.
I was actually in this situation. I left when the child was almost 2, I was young (19 or so) and while I have missed the child I helped raise for a short while I have three of my own children now. The mother never wanted or needed me around so I never pushed for visitation of the child I helped raise. Had she asked me for child support I’d have been in a weird position.
And I’ve heard people who claim that men should be all rounded up and killed express support for your position. Should you then change your mind? Again, there’s no belief or position that isn’t likely to have crazy, nasty people supporting it.
No, but if I saw those people espousing my position, I’d:
(a) think about it;
(b) pray that people didn’t associate me with them; and
(c) attempt to distance myself from them.
I never suggested you should change your views because of it. Merely that when you are on the side of something which, if you go to all the “fathers’ rights” groups websites, appears to be overwhelmingly populated by mysoginists, it might give you pause for thought. That’s all.
Why do you think women like to get to a know a man first before having sex with them? Why do you think women tend to shy away from one-night-stands and no-strings-attached sex? Do you think it’s because we are frigid? Because we like to say the word “no?” Because we just like to make things complicated and difficult?
No. A large part of it is that we are afraid we will get knocked up and left high and dry. Sex comes with risk. So we assess our partners, choose ones that are less likely to be risky, and generally try to make good choices.
Not every woman is a threat. That crazy cute party girl that you know is nuts but you want to bang anyway? Yeah, guess what? She might be. The nice responsible lady you share a desk with at work? I bet you can tell that she is almost certainly not. You were born with this crazy thing called “judgement” that is remarkably good at sorting the crazy malevolent freaks out from the normal people.
Getting to know your partner until you have some element of trust is a pretty excellent way to avoid ending up with an unwanted child. Sure, it’s not 100% certain, but then again you can’t be 100% certain your trusted partner won’t suddenly stab you to death while you are sleeping.
Newsflash not all women care to get-to-know someone before having sex. Some people don’t even bother to do that before getting married. Sometimes sex is just sex. In fact you should assume that as the default status in most situations. If you want a commitment ask for it and if you don’t ask don’t be surprised if you are left “high and dry.”
Newsflash, barring a hysterectomy, sex is a risky proposition that can result in pregnancy. You should assume that in all situations. If you don’t want to be on the hook for child support for 18 years, don’t put your penis in a woman’s vagina and don’t be surprised if you aren’t stuck with the bill if you do.
Of course all women are free to choose the degree of risk they are comfortable with. I’m advising that men do that, too. You run the risk of knocking a girl up and being on the hook for child support. If you are worried about this, you’d be well advised to get to know your partner.
I know it’s not as fun, but these are the kinds of choices people make every day.
It’s not “not as fun”, it’s impossible. Men aren’t telepaths, and we can’t magically tell if a woman is lying to us.
The fact is, the way our system is set up a prudent man would never have sex with women at all. For that matter, a prudent man would never be alone with a woman or child without cameras running. But that’s not what men are like, men aren’t ever going to be prudent and rational on the subject. Women in our society depend on male irrationality when it comes to sex and women, they depend on the male sex drive being stronger than their sense of self preservation or self interest.
I assume you mean an almost two year old that wasn’t yours biologically.
I’m not sure how much an almost two year old will remember.
It is a hard emotional situation. I was thinking of older kids who had a more long term relationship with someone.
My stepson and I have a great father son relationship even though his mother and I divorced 20+ years ago. When he was in trouble he came to live with me for a while and I was glad to be there for him. His kids call me Grampy.
That’s not a problem for her. She says exactly what even sven said. The father feels betrayed and now he’s the bad guy. Women use this ploy all the time to astonishingly great effect. She fucked him up and now he’s wrong for being angry about it.
She wins the child support money and she got to screw around with impunity. Furthermore she will also get alimony.
Pyrrhic? Hardly. An unfaithful wife who has a kid with a man besides her husband stands to take her husband straight to the cleaners.
And it’s impossible to tell if your wife will suddenly decide to stab you to death in your sleep. You are not a telepath, and you can’t magically tell when a woman is harboring unspoken homicidal tendencies. There is no such thing as a complete guarantee. But you still manage to find people you are pretty sure won’t just suddenly decide to kill you, right? And it works out even though you haven’t read their mind to assure that they are not a homicidal maniac, right? That’s called trust, and it makes the world go round.
Nothing in this world is 100%. Anyone could turn out to be crazy or evil in a number of ways- not just in regards to child support. But the vast majority of people are not like that. Looking back on your life, I bet you can tell the women that would be capable of pulling something like this from those that don’t. Maybe it’d be smart to have some idea which is which before you leave your sperm in someone. If you really need to pump sperm into someone who could possibly be batshit insane, wrap it up and stick a sponge up there for good measure. And watch her take some Plan B the next day. Birth control actually is pretty effective, and it’s really not that hard not to knock up crazy girls.
The idea that men are incapable of using even a bit of sexual discretion is, frankly, insulting to men.
I “depend” on male irrationality about sex like a fish depends on a bicycle. Where I come from, sex is a fun shared activity that everyone enjoys, not some adversarial gender battle field.