# Abortion Issue got me sleeping on the Couch **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 16, 2005, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041 "2005-05-16T09:11:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/41 "2005-05-16T16:39:16Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > (You guys realize this hijack is all about being able to describe cervical mucus and poking your own cervix in detail, right?) I’m a guy and yes I do realize that. Perhaps we can even balance this hijack with people’s desire to tell **Schwa** that, no sir “Bob” ma’am, that wasn’t a good thing to argue about. But back to the hijack, what’s the difference between vaginal and cervical mucus? I thought that it was like… all the same stuff. No? Is there some sort of difference in density or some such? And: good gods… being clinical can really take the fun out of sex talk. “Sexually-intimate-partner-of-mine, I believe that the ammount of my vaginal mucus has increased and I would now be receptive to the insertion of your reproductive appendage.” ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/42 "2005-05-16T16:40:44Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > (You guys realize this hijack is all about being able to describe cervical mucus and poking your own cervix in detail, right?) No problem - you ladies hardly ever complain when we hijack a thread into talking about belching, farts, and creative dump-taking, so poke all you want. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/43 "2005-05-16T16:55:38Z")
(Sheeeeit, what more was there to say to the OP after “You’re an incoherent jackass.”?) OK, **Finn** , you’re a cool guy (most of the time, IMHO, anyway.) You may be admitted to the secret knowledge of Wymmynhood. Get a copy of [Taking Charge of Your Fertility](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060937645/qid=1116262215/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/102-7346340-5377753?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) and all will be revealed. I know I made several posts in some thread a while back about the gender thing, but Search is not my friend today. FAM’s take on it is based on research that shows “male” sperm to be fast but short lived and “female” sperm to be slower but longer lived. So, for a boy, you want to have intercourse as close to ovulation as possible, so the boys outswim the girls and get to the ovum first. For a girl, you want to have it as far away as possible which still having a chance of surviving sperm (about 4 days before ovulation if you have good quality cervical fluid). The idea is that the boys will zip on up, get all confused 'cause there’s no egg yet and die off or wander off into the abdomen because they won’t stop and ask for directions. The ladies have taken their time, packed a snack for the road (they get nourishment from the cervical fluid as well as seminal fluid), printed out their Mapquest route and get there just when the egg wanders down the fallopian tube. Knowing my own outstanding fertility, I had intercourse **6** days before scheduled ovulation (celibate for 3 months before and two weeks after) and now have a daughter. Yipee! While it was by most rules too early to have sperm survive, I’ve always considered it my earliest fertile day, and I was right! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/44 "2005-05-16T17:03:40Z")
Oh, and cervical fluid, also called “mucus,” (but “fluid” was chosen as a marketing tool. Seriously. People were creeped out by the word “mucus” and wouldn’t take the classes.) Cervical fluid comes from the cervix itself and is secreted out the vagina - the actual vagina, not the labia. It changes consistency from watery to sticky to almost rubber-cementy. When it’s stretchy like half-dried rubber cement, it’s very, very fertile. It can be clear, streaky or white. Clear and stretchy - it’s baby-makin’ time! It is NOT vaginal lubricant which comes from . . . well, they’re not sure where that comes from. There are some mucus producing cells which line the vagina, but they don’t seem responsible for all of the lubricant produced when a woman is aroused. It’s more watery than cervical fluid, and will evaporate off a finger quite quickly, whereas cervical fluid will not. That lube can confuse early FAMers, though. When she’s “wet” is NOT a good time to assess the cervical fluid. ---
**Author:** ![user\_v1.05](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/5daacb/32.png) [@user\_v1.05](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/user_v1.05)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/45 "2005-05-16T17:05:09Z")
The only 100% effective method of birth control is getting punched repeatedly in the uterus. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/46 "2005-05-16T17:13:33Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > OK, **Finn** , you’re a cool guy (most of the time, IMHO, anyway.) Awwww shucks ma’am, yur gunna make me blush. > [@WhyNot](#): > > I know I made several posts in some thread a while back about the gender thing, but Search is not my friend today. I’m actually really curious here, I think I may do some searching and then start a GQ thread. > [@WhyNot](#): > > FAM’s take on it is based on research that shows “male” sperm to be fast but short lived and “female” sperm to be slower but longer lived. I wonder why that would be… There should only be a difference of one chromosome… but I guess when we’re talking unicellular little tadpoles, a little bit o’ DNA goes a long way. > [@WhyNot](#): > > if you have good quality cervical fluid And if you don’t, you can just swing by Jiffy Lube and they’ll swap it out for some new stuff and even top you off. > [@WhyNot](#): > > . The idea is that the boys will zip on up, get all confused 'cause there’s no egg yet and die off or wander off into the abdomen because they won’t stop and ask for directions. Bah. Directions are for the sickly and the weak, and I know exactly where we’re going. Yes, we’re supposed to be in a cornfield right now. > [@WhyNot](#): > > The ladies have taken their time, packed a snack for the road (they get nourishment from the cervical fluid as well as seminal fluid), printed out their Mapquest route and get there just when the egg wanders down the fallopian tube. It might also take them longer if they stop every 15 minutes to pee. 😃 (On a serious note, I thought that vaginal mucus maintained a negative Ph so as to make ‘life’ hard for the little tadpoles. I obviously need to read more on this subject. Who knew screwin’ was this complicated?) > [@WhyNot](#): > > (celibate for 3 months before and two weeks after) My condolences. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/47 "2005-05-16T17:21:47Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Most of us don’t spend a lot of time with our finger up our vaginas and really don’t have much of a comparison. Funny, whenever I look for pictures of women on the Internet, they all have a finger up their vagina. And too much eye make-up. Maybe I should use different search terms than “hot hot chixxx”? Nah. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/48 "2005-05-16T17:25:50Z")
Oh, and, **WhyNot** , thanks for clearing up my ignorance. I figured I knew some stuff n’ things, but evidently the sum total of my previous knowledge was: fun + guy = hard fun + girl = tasty slippery wonderful wetness hard + wet + birth control = wheeeeeee! hard + wet - birth control = frantic prayer ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/49 "2005-05-16T17:43:46Z")
**FinnAgain** I must commend you on your interest in learning about how a woman’s body and sexuality actually work. As opposed to the OP . . . ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/50 "2005-05-16T17:49:58Z")
Awwww schoot **lavenderlemon** I’m just a curious horney lil’ devil, any beneficial qualities are strictly accidental. [serious] I’ve always thought that communication and taking an active interest in my partner’s health and happiness was the best way to really good sex and a healthy relationship. This specific topic is actually of interest to me right now, as I’ll be moving in with my girlfriend soon and we’ll probably end up wanting to have kids within the next few years. All knowledge is power, and now at least I can impress her by talking about the difference between vaginal and cervical mucus! [/serious (sorta)] ---
**Author:** ![Dan\_Norder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4af34b/32.png) [@Dan\_Norder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dan_Norder)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/51 "2005-05-16T18:20:34Z")
Couch? Someone should be sleeping in an alleyway after that stream of ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/52 "2005-05-16T19:10:58Z")
> [@user v1.05](#): > > The only 100% effective method of birth control is getting punched repeatedly in the uterus. I’ve always recommended the Bathtub Method of Birth Control: 1. Man gets into the bathtub 2. Woman gets into bed 3. Guaranteed 100% non-pregnancy rate. 😉 As for the OP, what’s _wrong_ with a woman who wants to have sex like a man? Hot damn! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/53 "2005-05-16T19:57:59Z")
> [@Cliffy](#): > > Funny, whenever I look for pictures of women on the Internet, they all have a finger up their vagina. And too much eye make-up. > > –Cliffy You know, I’ve seen a lot of porn in my time, but I’ve NEVER seen a woman with eye make-up up her vagina. As for **schwa** , I’ll take “Really is an Asshole” for 1000, Alex. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/54 "2005-05-16T20:03:50Z")
> [@UnwrittenNocturne](#): > > I think you had better get used to the couch. Or the street. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/55 "2005-05-16T20:07:41Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > my copious mucus may be much less (but still fertile) than yours I wasn’t even aware it was a competition. Ahem. The OP’s clueless on issues of responsibility. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/56 "2005-05-16T20:10:50Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > I’ve always recommended the Bathtub Method of Birth Control: > > 1. Man gets into the bathtub > 2. Woman gets into bed > 3. Guaranteed 100% non-pregnancy rate. 😉 > > As for the OP, what’s _wrong_ with a woman who wants to have sex like a man? Hot damn! 😃 I’ve heard most straight men don’t like it when their girlfriends fuck them in the ass with a strap on as they spank their ass yelling ‘_ **Who’s your daddy** _!’ ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/57 "2005-05-16T20:40:56Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > You know, I’ve seen a lot of porn in my time, but I’ve NEVER seen a woman with eye make-up up her vagina. I submit you’re renting the wrong kind of porn. And I will _not_ post links. The woman with the tats and peircings to make her vagina look like a butterfly gave me nightmares for months. OP, dear, I would say that you have control issues. So women can have sex “just like men”. So what? That should make you ecstatic! It isn’t some secret club. It’s sex. Unless you prefer sex with other men (not that there’s anything _wrong_ with that), contraception and women having a say in their own reproductivity should be something you encourage. As it’s obvious you believe in sex before marriage. I, like you, would like to see a world in which there’s no such thing as an unwanted pregnancy. I’m pragmatic enough to believe it’s probably never going to happen. There are serious debates about abortion and good points on each side. What you presented wasn’t one of them. Your girlfriend most likely views you as a knuckle dragging misogynist who is trying to tell her what she can and cannot do with her body. I would apologize. Tulips are nice. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/58 "2005-05-16T21:00:26Z")
> [@What Is Schwa](#): > > Or I really am an asshole… I’ll add to the resounding chorus of affirmations of this statement. Having an abortion is not as simple (physically) as you’d like to think, and there is no way that abortions make women able to “fuck like men.” And just because you feel cheated that you can’t get pregnant doesn’t mean that fertile women everywhere have to think of that ability as some kind of blessing – I really don’t think it’s too much to ask of medical science that there be some kind of 100% effective birth control that doesn’t fuck with my hormones (and isn’t abstinence). > [@Priceguy](#): > > It may be standard operating procedure, but it’s still dumb, for several reasons. It’s emotional blackmailing, which leads to resentment and scars that fester. I’ve always stuck to the rule that you never go to sleep mad at each other. If anyone were to tell me to sleep on the couch, I’d be out that door and only come back to get my things. Same with the kind of sexual blackmailing women sometimes do: “If you’re going to be like that, no sex for you!” If you don’t want to have sex, fine, but if you use it as a weapon, do that to someone else. Why do you assume that sleeping on the couch has anything to do with sex? If my SO had said something as stupid as the OP, I wouldn’t want the physical closeness and intimacy that come with sharing a bed. It would have nothing to do with sex, and would have even less to do with “emotional blackmailing.” I’d be less likely to tell him to sleep on the couch, though, and more likely to just go sleep there myself. “Never go to sleep mad” is a good rule of thumb, but some things can’t be settled before bedtime. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/59 "2005-05-16T21:05:09Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > Why do you assume that sleeping on the couch has anything to do with sex? I don’t. Those are two different things in my post: sleeping on the couch and sexual blackmailing. > [@](#): > > If my SO had said something as stupid as the OP, I wouldn’t want the physical closeness and intimacy that come with sharing a bed. If mine had said something stupid enough to make me refuse to share a bed with them, I’d leave the relationship. > [@](#): > > It would have nothing to do with sex, and would have even less to do with “emotional blackmailing.” With hindsight “blackmailing” was the wrong word to use there; it implies a deliberateness that I didn’t intend. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/60 "2005-05-16T21:15:10Z")
Just curious - how many days/weeks/months/years do you think it’s possible to sustain a relationship w/out somebody saying something couch-worthy? Hubby and I have both had our (well-deserved) turns riding the couch. It happens. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041.md?page=4)