# Abortion Issue got me sleeping on the Couch **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 16, 2005, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041 "2005-05-16T09:11:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/81 "2005-05-17T02:09:28Z")
If you haven’t worked things out after a reasonable period, better to get a good nights sleep and cool off. If not, you may say things in the middle of the night that you will regret. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to put a little distance between you and another person. Even injured animals hide themselves for a while. One thing that bothers me about the OP is that he makes it sound as if only women have children. Although she’s the one who becomes pregnant and ultimately makes the decision about the abortion, the baby has two parents. Every time he screws around he stands a chance of getting more than just a disease. Men – the good guys – are just as much the “gatekeepers” as the women are. Maybe the GF really loves him, but is waiting for him to grow up a little. Meanwhile, he could add a new room on to his part of the house or read the _Great Books of the Western World_ or something. BTW, I would think that a lot of women banged their heads on their keyboards when the OP assumed that there were virtually no consequences to having an abortion. He’s not an ass. He just needs to stop and _think_ about this logically. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/82 "2005-05-17T02:56:05Z")
I’ve never understood that “don’t go to bed/sleep angry”. If I’m that worked up, I can’t sleep at all. It’s either toss and turn, or turn on the TV. If I’m just bugged/annoyed and can sleep, that’s not angry. As to the OP, no comment. I do like some of the answers though. The Megatron one was funny. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/83 "2005-05-17T03:26:13Z")
> [@user v1.05](#): > > The only 100% effective method of birth control is getting punched repeatedly in the uterus. **user v1.05** , that’s over the line. Suggesting punching pregnant women in the stomach as a means of ‘birth control’ is a blatant play for shock value. This is a warning: ratchet it back. TVeblen Pit mod ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/84 "2005-05-17T05:04:54Z")
> [@fessie](#): > > **Priceguy** if I injured you in some way, I apologize. There was no malicious intent. Oh bullshit. You told me (in your usual insinuating illogical way) that the reason my relationships have failed is that I couldn’t manage them. How the hell isn’t that malicious intent? What was your intent? ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/85 "2005-05-17T05:35:04Z")
> [@What Is Schwa](#): > > I stated that in my utopian society I would like to see abortion disapear to be replaced by fantastic support agencies for a pregnant woman (such as adoption, etc) On that point, I do think that you are right. I think there is definitely a need for greater social support for positive alternatives to abortion, rather than stigmatizing single/young parents. [This article outlines some of the areas of potential improvement](http://fnsa.org/v1n2/green.html) pretty well, I think. Certain other parts of your post give the impression that you’re a bit resentful towards women and I think that’s what people are reacting so negatively towards. But, then, I can’t really blame you for feeling a tad bitter after the way your gf apparently reacted. Personally, I don’t think an argument over a political/social issue is a reason to make someone sleep on the couch. If you care about someone you should be able to respect their opinions even when they differ from yours. I wouldn’t be dating someone if I found their religious or political views that offensive. In most cases I am content to agree to disagree simply because most political issues really don’t have that much direct relevance to the relationship anyway. A far more relevant issue is if you two are in agreement about how you would deal with an unplanned pregnancy if it personally happened to the two of you. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/86 "2005-05-17T06:11:22Z")
Only because this thread is still active… The abortion issue only STARTED this fight with your gf… your intolerance put your ass on the couch… ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/87 "2005-05-17T11:18:23Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > Oh bullshit. You told me (in your usual insinuating illogical way) that the reason my relationships have failed is that I couldn’t manage them. How the hell isn’t that malicious intent? What was your intent? /with apologies for the hijack Actually, you’re the one who said you’d leave a relationship if your SO said something couch-worthy, and then you said (with regret) that your relationships haven’t lasted longer than five years. So from that I inferred that your stated unwillingness to tolerate stupid remarks within a relationship might (correlation?) be the reason they haven’t lasted as long as you might’ve liked. I’ve posted a couple of times that the reason I’m still married is both of us have done our best to forgive & forget. Is that really so awful? I seem to be pissing off a lot of people here lately, so I won’t pretend that your anger is ridiculous - I just don’t see what it is that’s made you so angry. Apparently I’m doing something quite wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/88 "2005-05-17T11:29:37Z")
> [@fessie](#): > > Actually, you’re the one who said you’d leave a relationship if your SO said something couch-worthy, No I didn’t. Nothing is couchworthy. If someone were to say something that truly made me unable to share a bed with that person, why would I want to stay in the relationship? If I’m still able to share the bed, why wouldn’t I? > [@](#): > > and then you said (with regret) that your relationships haven’t lasted longer than five years. No regret, just stating the fact. > [@](#): > > So from that I inferred that your stated unwillingness to tolerate stupid remarks within a relationship might (correlation?) be the reason they haven’t lasted as long as you might’ve liked. Let’s see. The first relationship - she met someone else, fucked him on the side for six months and then finally got up the courage to dump me. The second relationship - she fell out of love with me and went back to being a lesbian, and we’re still good enough friends that we’ve managed to continue living together for over four months while looking for new places to live. Yep, both of those are definitely the fault of my not tolerating stupid remarks. Wish you’d told me this a few years ago, I could have been throwing her out of the bedroom all this time and I’d still have a girlfriend. > [@](#): > > I’ve posted a couple of times that the reason I’m still married is both of us have done our best to forgive & forget. > > Is that really so awful? You’re completely missing the point. Of course you should try and forgive and forget. Do you really think a relationship lasts even five years with zero tolerance for dumb remarks? What you shouldn’t do is throw someone out of the bedroom, 'cause that’s dumb. > [@](#): > > I seem to be pissing off a lot of people here lately, so I won’t pretend that your anger is ridiculous - I just don’t see what it is that’s made you so angry. The snide, insinuating remark that my relationships ended because I won’t throw people out of the bedroom. That is grounds for anger in my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/89 "2005-05-17T11:38:20Z")
Well, apparently with your relationships it is not the case. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/90 "2005-05-17T12:03:43Z")
If I can just butt in here: This thread is nearing 90 posts and despite featuring the word “abortion” has yet to turn into a train-wreck. There’s something I have to do. /me takes out knife and fork /me lays hat on table /me applies salt, pepper and vinegar to hat /me begins tucking in, convincingly simulating hunger That’s all. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/91 "2005-05-17T15:03:56Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > The snide, insinuating remark that my relationships ended because I won’t throw people out of the bedroom. That is grounds for anger in my opinion. If I might comment, she just said she did not intend it as snide or insinuating. Certainly you took it that way, but she’s already apologized. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/92 "2005-05-17T15:30:05Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > Oh bullshit. You told me (in your usual insinuating illogical way) that the reason my relationships have failed is that I couldn’t manage them. How the hell isn’t that malicious intent? What was your intent? No offense **Priceguy** , but I think you just might be projecting a bit here. **fessie** has apologized and repeatedly stated she had no malicious intent and apologized if it was taken that way. The fact that you continue to ride her about it only speaks to your own insecurities about your relationships, not **fessie** ’s intent behind her posts. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/93 "2005-05-17T15:50:48Z")
Whatever happened to the OP? Is the couch not in the same room as the computer? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/94 "2005-05-17T16:08:13Z")
Admit it **fessie** , _you_ are the girl he didn’t throw out of the bedroom. That’s got to be it, right? I mean, talk about over-the-top reaction. If **Priceguy** deals with all preceived slights the way he did in this thread, maybe he needs to go sleep on the couch. You need a time out, dude. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/95 "2005-05-17T16:42:52Z")
My goodness. One more vote for the OP being an asshole. Flowers, man, and chocolate. If you told your girl what you posted, I’m shocked she was willing to let you stay at her house atall, let alone in her bed. (This is of course assuming you don’t live together - the OP wasn’t clear or I just missed it.) I’ve never met you, and yet somehow _I_ was tempted to tell you to sleep on the couch. When come back, bring coherence. Logic is probably too much to ask. Speaking of which, if I’m still angry at bedtime, I’m still angry at bedtime. I know my own temper and urge to keep talking about things well enough to realize that attempting to sleep in the same room with the person who angered me is a Very Bad Idea. (/sharp poke into his ribs at 4am - "Oh and WTF did you mean by “\_\_\_\_\_\_”?!?!?!?). If something has rattled my cage so badly I’m still angry at bedtime, I’ll retreat to my seperate corner and take it up again in the light of day - hopefully with tempers calmer and more rationality possible. This behavior is in everyone’s best interests. If I’m pissed at my sweetie, I do NOT want to be naked with him. So sorry. If I’m _really_ angry with my sweetie, ANY discussion is probably not a wise notion until I’ve chilled out somewhat. Being a creature of high temper when roused, I know that I will sometimes say things in anger that are deliberately hurtful. I try to avoid this in as much as possible. If this means someone sleeps on the couch, so be it. It’s most likely ME - because when I’m angry, I don’t sleep. I pace. And fume. And mutter under my breath with many baleful looks. And gesticulate. Eventually I’ll get tired and pass out, but this doesn’t always synch up with bedtime 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/96 "2005-05-17T16:47:05Z")
> [@if6was9](#): > > Only because this thread is still active… The abortion issue only STARTED this fight with your gf… your intolerance put your ass on the couch… I’m interrupting this hijack with one of my own. OMG, I am crazy about you. Marry me. And, I echo eleanorigby. Where’d ya go, OP? If you’re going to start a Pit thread, you should have the cojones to at least come back and answer when someone calls you out on your silly assed assertions. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/97 "2005-05-17T16:53:36Z")
> [@lezlers](#): > > The fact that you continue to ride her about it only speaks to your own insecurities about your relationships, not **fessie** ’s intent behind her posts. Save the amateur psychology, please. My relationships are over, so there’s not much to be insecure about. > [@lezlers](#): > > If I might comment, she just said she did not intend it as snide or insinuating. Certainly you took it that way, but she’s already apologized. I don’t see any other way to take it. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/98 "2005-05-17T16:58:14Z")
Jesus, **Priceguy**. Let it go. How many times do you want an apology before you quit milking it and move the fuck on, already? ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/99 "2005-05-17T16:58:58Z")
> [@Aangelica](#): > > Speaking of which, if I’m still angry at bedtime, I’m still angry at bedtime. I know my own temper and urge to keep talking about things well enough to realize that attempting to sleep in the same room with the person who angered me is a Very Bad Idea. (/sharp poke into his ribs at 4am - "Oh and WTF did you mean by “\_\_\_\_\_\_”?!?!?!?). If something has rattled my cage so badly I’m still angry at bedtime, I’ll retreat to my seperate corner and take it up again in the light of day - hopefully with tempers calmer and more rationality possible. This behavior is in everyone’s best interests. Funny little aside. Back when I lived with an X boyfriend (obviously he wasn’t an X at the time) we got into a fight and went to sleep. In the same bed. BIG mistake. I tend to toss and turn a lot in my sleep anyway but this time it was with a vengence. Apparently my subconscious desire to beat him senseless came out and I ended up kicking him repeatedly until he woke up, yelled at me to stop and went to sleep on the couch. 😃 And **Priceguy** , I just call 'em as I see 'em. The fact that no one here has jumped to your aid should be a slight indicator that your reaction is a bit…over the top. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041/100 "2005-05-17T17:01:59Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > Jesus, Priceguy. Let it go. How many times do you want an apology before you quit milking it and move the fuck on, already? I don’t want any more apologies. I didn’t even want the one. I stopped responding to **fessie** when she stopped asking me questions. It was **Biggirl** , **andros** and **lezlers** (and now you) who kept it going. If no-one ever mentions this matter ever again I’ll be a happier man. By the way, in my last post I accidentally attributed a quote to **lezlers** that was really by **andros**. Apologies. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-issue-got-me-sleeping-on-the-couch/304041.md?page=6)