# Abortion rights supporters: ethically, should a happily-married woman get her husband's opinion ... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 30, 2014, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-rights-supporters-ethically-should-a-happily-married-woman-get-her-husbands-opinion/700033 "2014-09-30T23:09:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![EverwonderWhy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EverwonderWhy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EverwonderWhy)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-rights-supporters-ethically-should-a-happily-married-woman-get-her-husbands-opinion/700033/81 "2014-10-09T17:03:37Z")
> [@Hector\_St\_Clare](#): > > No one’s denying that the biological costs exists. If the pregnancy poses a serious health risk to the mother, I think she should be allowed to have an abortion. Barring that, any physical discomfort, inconvenience etc. is surely trivial compared to the life of the child, and should hardly be a serious concern for decent people. As others have repeatedly pointed out, the inconvenience of pregnancy is not considered “trivial” by many people, nor do many people share your belief that zygotes/embryos/fetuses are equivalent to born humans. > [@Hector\_St\_Clare](#): > > Yes, of course there are social costs too. I’m not sure why the fact that women earn less or are less likely to be promoted, after taking time off for children, is a glaring social problem though. Taking time off is a choice, and if women choose to trade time with their children for having lower income and status, why is this a problem exactly? This may be hard for you realize, but forgoing promotion and earnings when women have children _may not be their choice_. Some women feel they shouldn’t have to take a professional hit when they have children. You may recall when Yahoo announced Marissa Mayer as their new CEO it was considered by many to be a major milestone for women because she was pregnant at the time. Now _surely_, you can imagine, some women may be passed over for promotions because upper management may make (sexist) assumptions about their abilities when they are pregnant or when they have young children at home? Assumptions, perhaps not made when men are expecting or have young children at home? And then when Marissa Mayer announced she likely wouldn’t be taken maternity leave she was demonized. In addition, this is a woman who access to resources that a majority of working mothers do not have, such as attaching a nursery to her office. Forcing women to carry pregnancies to term against their will is vile enough, ignoring that such polices impact women professionally and economically is plain ignorance. I realize you lament the days when women were subordinate to their husbands, but alas this is the modern reality - women are equals. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-rights-supporters-ethically-should-a-happily-married-woman-get-her-husbands-opinion/700033/82 "2014-10-09T17:31:57Z")
Can we not let a thread explicitly aimed at abortion rights supporters be hijacked by someone who is against abortion? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-rights-supporters-ethically-should-a-happily-married-woman-get-her-husbands-opinion/700033/83 "2014-10-09T17:35:08Z")
I’m an abortion-rights supporter! I think she should definitely tell him. I also think he should have nearly as much say as she does about keeping the baby or not. I don’t know how to quantify that. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Holdsworth\_Effect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/848f3c/32.png) [@The\_Holdsworth\_Effect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Holdsworth_Effect)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-rights-supporters-ethically-should-a-happily-married-woman-get-her-husbands-opinion/700033/84 "2014-10-09T17:42:28Z")
The owner of the uterus has the ultimate choice. Besides being ethically correct to inform the owner of the testicles, it opens the door to discussion of better contraception. As the former owner of a 1950 model set of female bits, I’d a tendency to be mistrustful of the less reliable methods, and made sure (from about 1969 on) that these issues were discussed prior to any activity, and that the current state of the art methods were used. Hector St Clare has made me decide to go down and give my husband a smooch. the consensus here is generally heartening. ---
**Author:** ![Asympotically\_fat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47c2d/32.png) [@Asympotically\_fat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asympotically_fat)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-rights-supporters-ethically-should-a-happily-married-woman-get-her-husbands-opinion/700033/85 "2014-10-09T17:44:53Z")
I don’t think this about some sort of overarching concepts of “rights”, it’s more about personal relationships and if you see all your interactions in a personal relationship about your “rights” than you’re well and truly fucked. So yes she should speak to him and discuss it with him as it is far better than him finding out later, because for all of Penelope’s rights to have an abortion, it is equally Kevin’s right to walk out the door if he doesn’t like what she has done (either by having the procedure or by not discussing it with him), which we assume is something that Penelope wishes to. Of course if Kevin is vehemently against the abortion and Penelope is equally opposed to not having the procedure, it probably indicates there is a fundamental incompatibility in their relationship anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-rights-supporters-ethically-should-a-happily-married-woman-get-her-husbands-opinion/700033/86 "2014-10-09T18:13:18Z")
I can’t fathom making a decision like this without my husband’s consensus. That’s just how we do things. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abortion-rights-supporters-ethically-should-a-happily-married-woman-get-her-husbands-opinion/700033.md?page=4)