# About Persephone and Dex **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 7, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688 "2003-07-07T02:37:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![tramp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tramp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tramp)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/181 "2003-07-08T15:41:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The\_Raven \* > \*\*Yes, except that you can’t compare cruelty to animals with cruelty to human beings… Cruelty to animals is punishable by expulsion and shunning, right? > -Rav \*\* Well I’m not sure you can say **Persephone** was cruel to her children… But leaving your children in a house that is in deplorable condition to go party it up in NYC is pretty stupid… But cruel? Eh… ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/182 "2003-07-08T15:43:03Z")
Nope, **dropzone** ole buddy, it sure didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/183 "2003-07-08T15:49:56Z")
Butt Heather Locklear really is smokin’… I just hate to think what Tommy did to it. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/184 "2003-07-08T16:14:12Z")
> [@](#): > > _Said by HighSky_ > Mods and Admins on my old board were never allowed to pit a person themselves. They could pit the basterd that hit their car, but not somebody on the board. They could either wait for or ask somebody else to do it. > > Forgive me if it sounds completely idiotic, But with much respect to the mods and admins of the SDMB, please take this suggestion into consideration. From Zotti’s OP: > [@](#): > > We did not, up to this point, have a rule that mods and admins were not allowed to pit people. > \ > I have admonished Dex for this and the mods and I have agreed on new rules meant to prevent a recurrence. So, **HighSky** , while I agree with you that it’s a good idea, looks like Ed already beat you to the punch. You know what Heather needs to do? Join the cast of “Sex and the City.” Then there would be the possiblity of full-frontal Locklear nudity. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/185 "2003-07-08T16:19:18Z")
Eh, t’hell with Heather boobies, I miss the cat fights! ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/186 "2003-07-08T16:21:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dropzone \* > **Sua, you are making the hyperbolic comparison of pederastry with sloppiness, when the former is blatantly illegal while the latter is a judgement call and one on which the CPS has been known to err on the side of caution. To be honest, you are edging beyond Dex’s rats and urine-soaked mattresses. At least he was comparing different breeds of apple.** So, **dropzone,** I take it that you failed to read the portion of my post in which I stated that I was employing hyperbole and that I was not comparing **Persephone’s** situation to pedophilia? **dantheman,** to whom I was responding, understood what I was talking about. Why couldn’t you? Kindly read a post, the whole post, before you respond to it. Might make things easier. > [@](#): > > _by DAVEW0071_ > You’re a lawyer, Sua. Would that kind of evidence be accepted in court? Or would it be tossed out on the grounds that it was speculation? No offense, **DAVE,** but this is just silly. **Nothing** on these boards would likely be admissible as evidence, if only because this is an anonymous board. If I had indeed confessed to pedophilia, it would not be admissible, because you would be unable to demonstrate that I actually wrote the confession in the first place (I post from my office, where my computer is accessible to several others). But more to the point, as **Xploder** noted, this isn’t a court. Court rules of evidence are extremely strict in comparison to the level of evidence we rely upon to make judgments and decisions in our daily life. We, as a matter of routine, base judgments and decisions upon speculation, informed guesses, and incomplete evidence. If we didn’t, we’d never be able to make a judgment or decision. Sua ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/187 "2003-07-08T16:21:17Z")
We get plenty of cat fights **here** , thankewverymuch. Plus there’s a poster named **Cat Fight**. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/188 "2003-07-08T16:26:53Z")
Not good enough dantheman, unless someone gets thrown into the swimming pool. We don’t have a pool. :::sigh::: ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/189 "2003-07-08T16:30:16Z")
Jeepers cripes! **Diane** mentioned me by name. Is this the same as being smote? Smited? Smithied? Struck down with a great and furious anger? I’m going to nap now. I just pray they’ve lost the keys to the closet where the branding iron is stored… ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/190 "2003-07-08T16:38:09Z")
But Sua, a hyperbolic response and a false comparison, even when admitted, are a nice way to blow off steam but add nothing of value to a debate, especially one that presses as many hot buttons as this one. I know nobody expects **me** to add anything of value to a debate but we expect BETTER from you. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/191 "2003-07-08T17:06:15Z")
Come’re dantheman, lemme lick ya. ---
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/192 "2003-07-08T17:29:26Z")
Sign me up as another “ **mhendo** is right on” supporter. **SuaSponte** , while this is not a courtroom, the whole thread reads like a witch-trial nonetheless. At times at least 😉 Regarding the new policy that moderators aren’t allowed to pit other posters: Shame! If **Dex** had abused his moderator privileges, for example first flamed and then banned **Persephone** , I could understand the commotion. As it is, he’s perfectly in line in my book. What’s more, he is only human and it’s quite natural to lash out from time to time. Plus, as a fellower poster, I would assume that he is still entitled to his own point of view. Be that as it may: > [@](#): > > HighSky wrote: > **Mods and Admins on my old board were never allowed to pit a person themselves. They could pit the basterd that hit their car, but not somebody on the board. They could either wait for or ask somebody else to do it.** If mods are ever again allowed to participate in threads where another poster is pitted, drop me a line and I’ll gladly open those threads 😉 Re: Melrose Place - From the Aaron Spelling shows, I favoured Beverly Hills 90210, but stopped watching when Shannon Doherty quit. Same with Charmed. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/193 "2003-07-08T17:32:25Z")
**Optihut** , if you feel that this thread sometimes reads like a witch hunt… what do you think of the other thread, then? **Diane** … yowwwwwrll. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/194 "2003-07-08T17:43:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dropzone \* > **Won’t work. Many of the NYC Dopers have been to fests in Chicago.** Well, apparently you not only missed **Sua** ’s reference to hyperbole, you also missed my reference to irony. > [@](#): > > **I would like to know what the problem is with having friends and realizing we would rather not pull them into a public flamefest in their honor. Seems rather civilized to me. It’s where we don’t treat the people we DON’T know with the same courtesy that bothers me.** So does this mean you would advocate banning all flaming on these Boards? Maybe the eradication altogether of the BBQ Pit? And would you, for example, extend this courtesy to people that have nothing to do with these boards? Hundreds of threads are started flaming strangers that we read about in news stories–people who start forest fires, leave their kids in cars, give their lovers HIV, and, yes, have their children removed from the house by CPS. In these and a thousand other situations, we flame people based on incomplete information. Are you saying that in all your 5,500 posts you’ve never been guilty of this? Because if you have, isn’t it a bit silly to start moaning about our general lack of civilization over this one issue? And again i ask those who are advocating special treatment for people that they’ve met in real life: are you willing to provide a list of such people so that we’ll know when you’re speaking your mind, and when you’re simply deferring to the privileges of friendship? ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/195 "2003-07-08T17:44:01Z")
Melrose Place- the only good thing to happen to that place was the bomb. 😉 Thoughts: 1. Too much sharing about your private life can be a bad thing. Once you post something you have invited comment. Especially in the Pit. Sometimes being a little vague is a good thing. 2. My admiration for the principals of the issue has increased. Both parties, and the Administration, have handled themselves with restraint and well thought out posts. 3. My disdain for some of the secondary parties has increased marketedly. A few people have not distinguished themselves at all. In hindsight, I hope a few Dopers are embarrassed by their posts. 4. I believe the Mods/Admins should be able to criticize other posters in original threads as long as they make it explictly clear that the “Mod hat is off” Will they be able to join Pit threads in progress and post much of the same content as if they started the OP themselves? 5. While I support the right for others, if I was ever a Mod here (I know, not likely) I wouldn’t do it. Too fraught with issues for my tastes. 6. I still remember the Melrose Place theme- does that make me a bad person? ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/196 "2003-07-08T17:49:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mhendo \* > \*\* So does this mean you would advocate banning all flaming on these Boards? Maybe the eradication altogether of the BBQ Pit? \*\* This is hyperbole, right? I think I’m getting good at this. I think **drop’s** point was that if one feels that one is good friends with one other, one probably shouldn’t feel obligated to drag their friend into a Pit thread. It doesn’t matter if one has met the other one or not. I happen to think some people on here are very nice indeed, and I would be pretty upset with them and myself if they began a Pit thread aimed at me. I’m overgeneralizing, though. But then, I think you were, too. ---
**Author:** ![HighSky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c2a13f/32.png) [@HighSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HighSky)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/197 "2003-07-08T18:40:55Z")
Actually, what i mean to clarify, it’s not thatt we couldn;t participate in a pit thread. We just couldn’t pit a user like persephone. We could pit the guy who keyed my car, the asshole who hacked our website twice, but we couldn’t pit an individual that we disagreed with ourselves. ~SKY~ ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/198 "2003-07-08T19:04:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mhendo \* > \*\*Well, apparently you not only missed **Sua** ’s reference to hyperbole, you also missed my reference to irony. \*\* No, but I knew after the fact that I should’ve thrown in a smilie or a winkie to let you know I was playfully going with your suggestion regardless of your intent. I’ll act on that impulse next time because I forget that many people here, especially the newer ones, tend to take me more seriously than they should. \*\* > [@](#): > > So does this mean you would advocate banning all flaming on these Boards? Maybe the eradication altogether of the BBQ Pit? \*\* Weeeelllll, it IS a position I’ve held for three years now. The Pit is one of two primary sources of ill will on this board and, unlike Great Debates, exists solely as a place to vent anger.\*\* > [@](#): > > And would you, for example, extend this courtesy to people that have nothing to do with these boards? \*\* That’s where my BAN THE PIT! idea falls down because it is a valuable outlet for that sort of thing. Instead, I must try to promote graciousness and understanding towards our friends and neighbors here. \*\* > [@](#): > > Are you saying that in all your 5,500 posts you’ve never been guilty of this? \*\* Of course I have, but I try to limit it to outsiders. \*\* > [@](#): > > Because if you have, isn’t it a bit silly to start moaning about our general lack of civilization over this one issue? \*\* You have presented a _tu quoque_ fallacy. That I have sinned is no reason for me to give up a quest for sinlessness in both myself and others.\*\* > [@](#): > > And again i ask those who are advocating special treatment for people that they’ve met in real life: are you willing to provide a list of such people so that we’ll know when you’re speaking your mind, and when you’re simply deferring to the privileges of friendship? \*\* You misunderstand. I do not Pit friends because they are my friends and I may defend them because they are my friends rather than some heartfelf support of their position. That they are MY friends has no bearing on whether or not YOU should Pit them, but be prepared for me to defend them if I feel you are being unfair. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/199 "2003-07-08T19:52:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*You are wiser than I could pretend to be, **wring**. \*\* Wring’s take on this is the correct one. If you are going to post something stunningly repellent to most people about yourself or your lifestyle many (possibly most) people who will simply react viscerally to this nastiness instead of trying to figure out all the contextual angles. Just from my sort memory of some posts here over the past two years there are fairly popular non-newbie posters who have posted here about - Being an unrepentant young hardcore drug addict and bragging about the enormous quantity of narcotics they took - Living with children in a incredibly dirty and cluttered home with cat feces and spray everywhere (not Persephone) - Making fairly nasty catty comments to their spouse about another transgendered doper at a doper party they all attended obviously being “not being a real woman” - …and I’m sure there are lots of others I’m blotting out of my mind. In each case they received horrified and/or censuring comments from other dopers. If something shocks someone’s sensibilities they are unlikely to submit it for approval to their online or IRL peer group before they post. The bottom line is if you don’t want people to post visceral gut reactions to self described awful situations or bad behavior **don’t put it on the board.** ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/200 "2003-07-08T20:06:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dropzone \* > \*\*But Sua, a hyperbolic response and a false comparison, even when admitted, are a nice way to blow off steam but add nothing of value to a debate, especially one that presses as many hot buttons as this one. I know nobody expects **me** to add anything of value to a debate but we expect BETTER from you. \*\* ::sigh:: You still haven’t read my original post, it appears. It wasn’t a “false comparison” - it wasn’t a comparison **at all.**** dantheman **had postulated that one should only respond to what an OPer wants to talk about, and should not address other matters raised by the OPer. I presented a hypothetical that, IMO, demonstrated that** dantheman’s** postulation was incorrect. The fact that **dantheman** gave a thoughtful response to hypothetical demonstrates that my post did in fact add something “of value” to the debate. I think my post added “nothing of value” only to those with low reading comprehension scores, or those who respond without fully reading a post. Sua [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688.md?page=11)