# About Persephone and Dex **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 7, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688 "2003-07-07T02:37:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DK2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aca169/32.png) [@DK2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DK2)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/41 "2003-07-07T04:13:01Z")
No offense Techchick but it seems that you’re angrier about this situation than Persephone is espeacially since Persephone already forgave Dex if I understand the OP correctly. If indeed Persephone forgave Dex and there’s no more bad blood between them I think you should relax a little. If I got any of the information wrong please feel free to correct me. ---
**Author:** ![Delly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Delly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delly)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/42 "2003-07-07T04:14:38Z")
Hi This topic looks like its going to get ugly-again, so i just wondered why dont we all just accept the fact that Dex has apologised and that Seph is ok with it now and is sorting out her problems. Otherwise I can see it as turning into a major problem for more then two main posters on the boards, and that would be a right old pity considering how the SDMB’s are actually quiet good… I know my post ount is low, and so il probably be ignored for the most part but Im just saying I think you all, who are firneds in some sort of way should leave it go. Thanks ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/43 "2003-07-07T04:20:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DK2 \* > No offense Techchick but it seems that you’re angrier about this situation than Persephone is espeacially since Persephone already forgave Dex if I understand the OP correctly. If indeed Persephone forgave Dex and there’s no more bad blood between them I think you should relax a little. If I got any of the information wrong please feel free to correct me. I am not as angry as I seem, I am however, appalled. I find injustice in this scenario and that what my problem is. As I said, I risk banning so I have to watch what I say here, fun eh? So I have said what I have to say about it. Read what **Persephone** just wrote and it might make more sense as to why I feel like I do. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/44 "2003-07-07T04:34:58Z")
I read the original threads as they were happening, 'twas some scary stuff. Like **Mama Tiger** said, I’m sorry **Seph** had those problems, glad they’re being corrected and happy for her good fortune in having true friends. I appreciated the original sentiment of the OP as rejoicing at one good thing that was sorta re-discovered in the midst of a different bad thing. I don’t think **Dex** did anything wrong, however. If mods and admins have the responsibility to constantly police things, at the least they ought to have the same posting rights as everyone else. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/45 "2003-07-07T05:04:24Z")
I don’t have all of the facts and, apparantly, they aren’t going to be presented here. That’s fine by me. Given this, all I can do is base an opinion on the sketchy facts that I have. The following is my opinion: -Dex’s only fault was to post those harsh words in the original MPSIMS thread. I believe he apologized for that in that thread and linked to the Pit thread. Based on what I know (and remember, those of us not in the know have not been given all of the information) he was not at all out of line to Pit the situation. -The thought that an Admin’s post when Pitting a member should be taken as official board policy is foolish but that’s just me. Maybe it would have been better if Dex had made some sort of disclaimer at the start of the OP but I have no doubt that that would not have made the least bit of difference in the reaction that resulted. -The self rightousness I have seen over this issue is beyond belief. As **Persephone** herself said, she knew she might get flamed over this. In my opinion, the flame was deserved. - **techchick** , my friend, you are acting like a child. You started that other thread after we were told not to post about the issue until the staff had a chance to make a statement. Now you can post all you want so long as you are civil. You’re lucky you weren’t banned. Enough with the martyr stuff. Haj ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/46 "2003-07-07T05:15:25Z")
> [@](#): > > _Dex sez_: > I am in fact on vacation at the moment, camping out west, and access to the internet will be extremely limited for the next few weeks. So I don’t expect that I will be able to post here (or anywhere) until late July. So, will this prevent an Admin from having a meltdown? Good. This place needs Admins, for the _really_ ugly situations, of which this is not. _This_ situation is a shitstorm in a thimble. _This_ is hardly worth _one_ thread, let alone _three goddamned trainwrecks_. So **Persephone** is a really crappy housekeeper. So the fuck what? CPS has every right to be jumpier than a crack-addict flea on a hotplate, given what tends to happen when they become complacent. A slap on the wrist from them is a strong WAKE THE FUCK UP-call, in my opinion, and I hope **Perseph** is taking it that way. Let me reiterate: If **Persephone** doesn’t clean up her act in every way, we as a community should rise up in revulsion and kick her sorry ass out. _Not_ learning from what she’s been through should be damned near impossible, and if she is still in the same position in six months, she’s either terminally stupid or just doesn’t care. _End of fucking story._ **Dex** , in his Infinite Wisdom, decided to chew **Perseph** out in MPSIMS. He was chided, so he started a Pit thread in which he really let loose. Why? We can never know the mind of another, but my guess is righteous indignation over the fate of **P** ’s children. The situation is being handled, moron! You can either help the children by helping **Persephone** , or you can shut the fuck up! In other words, _put up or shut up_. Don’t drag irrelevant commentary into a message board _you_ are partly responsible for. To recap: **Persephone** needs help, and not just in housekeeping. **Dex** needs to channel his righteous rage into something other than bitching on message boards. Can we close this shit now? ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/47 "2003-07-07T05:17:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hajario \* > - **techchick** , my friend, you are acting like a child. You started that other thread after we were told not to post about the issue until the staff had a chance to make a statement. Now you can post all you want so long as you are civil. You’re lucky you weren’t banned. Enough with the martyr stuff. > > Haj OOooooooh, martyrdom…I am no victim, I never said I was so please reserve judgement like that for those that are acting like children. I am reserving my opinion based on warnings I recieved directly from **Zotti**. Pardon me for wanting to keep my status as member rather than the untimely fate of those like **xploder**. I do however find that **Dex** was wrong in the intial threads and in this one tonight. I speak my opinion as freely as anyone here and I am not jumping on anyone, I am mearly expressing that opinion. If I am sounding like a victim you are reading things wrong as the victim here isn’t me, it’s **Persephone** for thanking those that helped her in a dire situation to which she admitted she fucked up. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/48 "2003-07-07T05:34:39Z")
**techchick68** , **Ed** said: > [@](#): > > OK, you guys, listen up. > > 1. I am going to post something about the Dex/Persephone matter soon. Unfortunately, I am swamped IRL at the moment so it’ll be a while. > > 2. Given the inflammatory nature of the subject, no more discussion of the Dex/Persephone matter on the SDMB till further notice, which will probably come when I post my remarks. Violators are subject to banning. > > 3. Techchick - first warning. No more discussion of this subject by you on the SDMB till further notice or your posting privileges will be revoked. We’ve already had one individual get banned over this. Don’t be the second. **Ed** has now posted his remarks. Looks like “further notice” has been given. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/49 "2003-07-07T05:43:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by techchick68 \* > **OOooooooh, martyrdom…I am no victim, I never said I was so please reserve judgement like that for those that are acting like children.** That’s what I thought I just did. Here is the definition of martyr that I am using: One who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle Your “if you wan’t to ban me for speaking my mind, go ahead” stuff in your Pit thread on this seems like wannabe martyr stuff to me but that’s just me speaking my opinion. Say whatever you want. You are just as entitled to your opinion as anyone else. I just don’t happen to agree with you. I also think that your presentation leaves much to be desired. Haj ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/50 "2003-07-07T05:45:51Z")
I was just thinking we needed old wounds gashed open like a pig on a slaughterhouse line… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/51 "2003-07-07T06:15:57Z")
**Derleth** , what the f do you mean by this: \*\* > [@](#): > > If Persephone doesn’t clean up her act in every way, we as a community should rise up in revulsion and kick her sorry ass out. Not learning from what she’s been through should be damned near impossible, and if she is still in the same position in six months, she’s either terminally stupid or just doesn’t care.\*\* People can’t be banned from the SDMB for off-board behavior. If they could, I can think of several people who would be long gone. Including me\*. Or did you mean that she shouldn’t be shunned by other Dopers IRL and banned from Dopefests? If so, that would be up to those others, wouldn’t it now? \*About a year ago, I posted about something that happened with me, Mr. Rilch and Friend, and got responses such as “Why is this something to be proud of?”, before the thread was locked. In fact, I believe my thread was directly responsible for the refinement of one of the board rules. But no one spoke of banning me, or barring their doors against me IRL, and if they had, they would have been wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/52 "2003-07-07T06:40:04Z")
I don’t have a horse to back in this race, just a comment: Why are tempers running so high with this issue? I’ve (mostly) lurked on this board since mid 99 and I’ve seen a **lot** of pittings that were much worse. **Dex** may have stepped over the line in MPSIMS, but it seems to me this has been addressed. The pit thread was relativly mild compared to many I’ve seen; **Dex** going off without having all the information is something that has been done by a lot of dopers. The only thing that I can think is that people are pissed because he is an Admin. But he is also human and a member of this community. If **Persephone** is willing, how about cutting him some slack and letting this issue go, at least emotionally? ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/53 "2003-07-07T06:50:26Z")
When I read the original **Persephone** post, I felt exactly as **Dex** did. Had **Persephone** been a less popular poster, there would’ve been no issue. The only happy thing in all this is that **Persephone** says she intends to make things better in her life, and I hope she does. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/54 "2003-07-07T07:15:28Z")
:rolleyes: [From here:](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=194828) > [@](#): > > I could give a shit if this gets me banned, ban me… > [@](#): > > I risk banning, I don’t fucking care… > [@](#): > > Fucking BAN ME…I don’t fucking care Now, you’re worried about being banned, and making damn sure everyone knows it. We get it, you’re indecisive. Get over yourself. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/55 "2003-07-07T07:17:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by obfusciatrist \* > \*\*Based on everything I’ve read here and elsewhere, I know I am going to be in the minority on this, but: > > I pretty much agree with CK Dexter Haven 90%. \*\* Another “me too”. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/56 "2003-07-07T07:21:53Z")
A lot of people have been asking why we seem to be so upset about this whole matter. I’ll try to explain why, in the simplest terms I can use. Dex was our friend. The first time **Persephone** and I ever actually _met_ each other, he drove us around Chicago showing us the sights. He knew us and we respected him. However, when Dex read the initial thread, he did not know what had been going on. yes, he was right to be concerned, but he could have taken it two ways : a : He could have thought, “Gee, I wonder what happened and I hope everything is okay. I know Seph and didn’t think she was a bad mom, but I could be wrong. Maybe I should find out first.” b : He could have assumed the worst. Not only did he do (b) but he chose to report (b) on the board AS fact. Because we both repected Dex so much, this was a completely blindside attack. We’re so upset because we didn’t consider this a pitting by a doper, we consider it a betrayal by a friend. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/57 "2003-07-07T07:27:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Casey1505 \* > :rolleyes: > [From here:](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=194828) > > Now, you’re worried about being banned, and making damn sure everyone knows it. We get it, you’re indecisive. Get over yourself. Yeah, I don’t care if I am banned but I am walking on egg shells here and I do have a lot of friends with who I like to interact with. There for I will do what I can to avoid banning but that doesn’t mean I don’t care cuz I don’t from an administration standpoint…from a friend standpoint I would be very sad as there are a lot of people here I like and enjoy that don’t include Live Journal. It’s a Catch 22. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/58 "2003-07-07T07:38:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus \* > We’re so upset because we didn’t consider this a pitting by a doper, we consider it a betrayal by a friend. Euty, I think that is what upsets me most. He had a choice to email YOU, knowing fully your relationship with Cristi and he took the “stupid” route and didn’t ask you what exactly was going on. It’s not like your email is all that private to anyone. In addition, he did take the MPSIMS thread and made it a place that most would be called upon for being a jerk…yep, I said it again. I wish this episode had never happened but to get back to the original thread in question…Thank you fellow Dopers for helping her out during a time that was most critical. It really does show the level of relationships and friendships that have developed on the SDMB. That was the original intent of her thread, to thank those that helped her out in a bad situation. She never “bragged” about being at a Dopefest while this was happening, she was thanking those that stepped up to the plate to help her out during a bad time. I would hope that I could be the giver during a crisis of another one of my Doper friend’s issues. Unfortunately I live far away from many of my best Doper friends and frankly, what the cause was is something I can relate to. She can only work to make it right and from here on out, I give her my highest marks for owning up to her situation and trying to make it right. What I don’t agree with is comments that make her look bad. She’s not a bad person and in fact I think I remember that she hosted a Dopefest two years ago. I don’t think that she’s just a horrible mom but things went awry and she knows that so why beat her down over it? I don’t want to be banned but if I am, so be it. I felt that Dex was a complete jerk about it. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/59 "2003-07-07T07:46:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by techchick68 \* > **Yeah, I don’t care if I am banned…** > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by techchick68 \* > **I don’t want to be banned but if I am, so be it.** Do you have to repeat this crap in every post? You’ve _had_ your further notice. Accept it. There ain’t no nails holding you onto that cross. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/60 "2003-07-07T07:47:23Z")
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