# About Persephone and Dex **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 7, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688 "2003-07-07T02:37:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/161 "2003-07-08T03:59:41Z")
4 pages, and a lot of fine arguing done on all sides, but I still have the same opinions that I did from the word go. I’m sorry **Seph** has had misfortune, glad it’s getting better, happy for her that she has true friends to help and think it was nice she wanted to acknowledge them. **Dex** wasn’t out of line, had every right to question and even pit the OP, and mods/admins should have full posting privileges. What’s surreal is that every time I open this thread it’s somewhat Suessian “Popular Persephone is poorly pitted.” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/162 "2003-07-08T06:47:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Green Bean \* > \*\*Did **Dex** know that Persephone and Eutychus held him so near and dear? I’ve hung out with lots of Dopers. Are there people out there who would feel betrayed if I Pitted them? \*\* > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by OxyMoron_ > \*\*Once you’ve met someone in person, the expectation of humane behavior is higher, I’d say. Telling people to divest themselves of that expectation is unlikely to be any more successful than my telling them to divest themselves of their emotional baggage (even temporarily). \*\* Quite so. I would be immensely hurt and betrayed to be (seriously) pitted by people on this board I have the closest IRL/off-board relationships with ( **Hamish** , **Potter** , **scott evil** , **Andygirl** , **LaurAnge** , for example). I would be less hurt, but still quite significantly hurt, to be pitted with people I’ve met IRL (such as at Dopefests), or communicated extensively with on the Net, and who I consider friends. Someone I know only on the boards, but have had many dealings with (long-time poster) - very irritated to amused, depending on the situation. Relative newbie - rather irritated to amused. I think it’s only natural. Who will you be more hurt by, if they spontaneously trash you? The guy down the hall at work, or your best friend? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/163 "2003-07-08T12:39:43Z")
Maybe I’m not getting the point, Matt. Who better to criticize one that someone one knows? I know I wouldn’t take a pitting from some random poster all that seriously (and to the best of my knowledge I’ve never been pitted) but if say, Weirddave or RTFirefly did so I’d have to sit up and take notice. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/164 "2003-07-08T12:51:04Z")
Well, _ **I** _ thought Dex’s comments were a cry for attention. Things get mighty lonesome on his board. (duck and run) (yelling from quite a great distance away) HEY ED! HAS THIS THREAD GOTTEN REPETITIOUS AND OFF-TOPIC ENOUGH FOR YOU TO LOCK IT? IF YOU WANT I CAN TAKE IT WAY OFF ON ANOTHER TANGENT. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/165 "2003-07-08T12:53:58Z")
You know what I really, really, really miss? Melrose Place. Yup. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/166 "2003-07-08T12:57:56Z")
Really? Despite my total hangup on Heather Locklear I could never bring myself to watch that show. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/167 "2003-07-08T12:59:30Z")
I thought it was still on. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/168 "2003-07-08T13:16:03Z")
drop - You don’t know what you missed! > [@](#): > > I thought it was still on. I wish. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/169 "2003-07-08T13:22:05Z")
Speaking only for myself, I’d feel oodles of much better if this thread went off into about eleventy-five tangents, one of which included flirting, jello, and the lost art of winking. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/170 "2003-07-08T13:29:14Z")
As it didn’t include full frontal nudity, much less a personal and permanent visit to my home by Ms Locklear, I’m satisfied I didn’t miss enough for me to regret it. BTW, thanks for playing along. I know how Ed hates these tangents. But, before Ed bans me for being a pain in the ass, an anecdote on making lemonade from somebody else’s lemons! I mentioned what slobs my kids are. Real conversation: “I have a friend whose kids had to go live with Grandma because her house was so messy.” “I don’t want to go live with Grandma.” “You’re 18. You aren’t going ANYWHERE.” “So I’d have to stay and help clean up my sisters’ mess myself?” “Yep.” “Maybe I should supervise their cleaning better.” ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/171 "2003-07-08T13:32:04Z")
(_)(_) Howzzat? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/172 "2003-07-08T13:34:23Z")
Perky! And so realistic a self portrait, to the best of my knowledge based on insufficient exposure that is likely to STAY insufficient. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/173 "2003-07-08T13:37:31Z")
Heh - I don’t think I’ve _ever_ been perky. Well, maybe when I was 13. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/174 "2003-07-08T13:42:31Z")
I read the original MPSIMS thread a few times to make sure I wasn’t overeacting, and my original opinion remains… **CKDH** , poster, flamed another poster in MPSIMS. Yes, it happens occasionally. And when it does, the poster that does the flaming gets a well-deserved warning. In the OP of the MPSIMS thread, **Persephone** accepted responsibility for the problem in her home and stated that she was determined to rectify the situation. She also stated that she did not blame the person who reported the situation, nor did she blame CPS…and that, in fact, she felt it was a much needed wakeup call. One which she was determined to listen to. That’s the way I read it, anyway. She was thanking some members of this community who were committed to HELPING her, and had ALREADY helped her, to achieve this goal. It is my opinion that starting a pit thread to rake someone over the coals _ **who has already admitted they were wrong and is making every attempt to rectify the problem** _ is being a jerk. I don’t see any reason to change my opinion just because the person who started the thread is a person in authority in this community. If something like this happened in my face-to-face life…say friend A did something wrong or appalling, then took responsibility for it and was attempting to correct whatever it was…and one day friend B ran into friend A at the mall and promptly told A at the top of his/her lungs that friend A is pond scum, I would feel that B was being a jerk. I would feel this VERY strongly. I’m not saying that Dex or friend B ARE jerks…just that they were behaving like one. We ALL have moments of which we are less than proud. One would hope that after things cool down, a person might have the grace to admit that they let their emotions get away from them, and that they handled things badly. I have respect for someone who admits their mistakes and tries to make them right. And yes, I know this thread is getting nicely hijacked, and I interrupted you…but I wanted to sleep on my reply first. Please, carry on in whatever direction you choose…Even though I know it won’t make a difference, I wanted to express my opininion. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/175 "2003-07-08T13:52:16Z")
Dear, you know how everybody on this board values you and your opinions, which are always well considered, deeply felt, and WELCOME. Please, never feel awkward about hijacking my hijacks. ---
**Author:** ![HighSky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c2a13f/32.png) [@HighSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HighSky)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/176 "2003-07-08T14:12:10Z")
I may be a recent register, but i have been reading The Dope for almost 5 years. I am also a moderator in several other communities, and I know i’m kept to a higher standard. When we had a similar “pit” board in a (Now closed) community, a similar type of problem came up. But one change that came from it, and i think should happen here. Mods and Admins on my old board were never allowed to pit a person themselves. They could pit the basterd that hit their car, but not somebody on the board. They could either wait for or ask somebody else to do it. Forgive me if it sounds completely idiotic, But with much respect to the mods and admins of the SDMB, please take this suggestion into consideration. I’d link you to my old board, but the domains been dead for years and [archive.org](http://archive.org) never had it archived. ~SkY~ Current Moderator at [www.Cinescape.com](http://www.Cinescape.com) ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/177 "2003-07-08T14:38:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > **Maybe I’m not getting the point, Matt. Who better to criticize one that someone one knows?** Yes, but in _private_. I’d feel absolutely humiliated, and angered that the person chose to tar me in front of a roomful of good acquaintances and strangers rather than discussing the issue with me personally. It would be as if they had written a letter to the editor denouncing me rather than taking it up with me in private. > [@](#): > > \*\*I know I wouldn’t take a pitting from some random poster all that seriously (and to the best of my knowledge I’ve never been pitted) but if say, Weirddave or RTFirefly did so I’d have to sit up and take notice. \*\* Well, yes, in the same way I’d “notice” any vicious betrayal. Like I said, I’d take a Pitting from a long-time poster I wasn’t otherwise acquainted with more seriously than that from a newbie, but it wouldn’t hurt my feelings. From someone I considered a friend, it would be a different matter. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/178 "2003-07-08T15:10:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > **Yes, but in _private_. I’d feel absolutely humiliated, and angered that the person chose to tar me in front of a roomful of good acquaintances and strangers rather than discussing the issue with me personally. It would be as if they had written a letter to the editor denouncing me rather than taking it up with me in private.** Yes, but your analogy implies that the person just came out in a room full of strangers, aired your dirty laundry, and proceeded to tar you for it. You neglect to mention the crucial point: in this case, **Persephone** decided to air _her own_ dirty laundry in a roomful of strangers. If you do that, you’re fair game. You know, given that we seem to have so many people on these Boards now who have a) met other Dopers face-to-face and b) admitted that they will treat those Dopers differently on the Boards Maybe we need a thread where people can post a list of Dopers whom they like too much to flame. That way, we’ll know whether their support of a Doper in any given situation is based on the issue at hand, or is just part of an outright refusal to criticize a friend in public. Maybe we could even arrange the Boards into teams, so that all the people who know each other from Dopefests in, say, New York, can get into big battles with people who attend Dopefests in Chicago, or Dallas, or LA. We could have a whole league of intramural flamefests, with a trophy and everything. No rational discussion allowed–simply take a side based on who you know in person and who you don’t. Irony? Yes. But also the _reductio ad absurdum_ that could be derived from the attitudes of some members about this issue. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Raven\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@The\_Raven\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Raven_1)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/179 "2003-07-08T15:16:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ZiggyB \* > \*\*Oh come on! The real comparison is “animal control took away matt\_mcl’s cats for animal cruelty.” One guy says “he’s all better now so don’t get on his case” and the other guy says “well he must have done something bad in the first place.” \*\* Yes, except that you can’t compare cruelty to animals with cruelty to human beings… Cruelty to animals is punishable by expulsion and shunning, right? -Rav ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688/180 "2003-07-08T15:35:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mhendo \* > \*\*Maybe we could even arrange the Boards into teams, so that all the people who know each other from Dopefests in, say, New York, can get into big battles with people who attend Dopefests in Chicago, or Dallas, or LA. \*\* Won’t work. Many of the NYC Dopers have been to fests in Chicago.\*\* > [@](#): > > Irony? Yes. But also the reductio ad absurdum that could be derived from the attitudes of some members about this issue.\*\* I would like to know what the problem is with having friends and realizing we would rather not pull them into a public flamefest in their honor. Seems rather civilized to me. It’s where we don’t treat the people we DON’T know with the same courtesy that bothers me. I guess my hijack didn’t work, huh? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-persephone-and-dex/186688.md?page=10)