# About your first name **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 11, 2024, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718 "2024-06-11T00:43:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/41 "2024-06-11T14:27:55Z")
Give it another generation and using honorifics will be popping common. A banging retro sweet thing to do.Ms EoD ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/42 "2024-06-11T14:42:08Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I think that is true in a large majority of cases, but they view their efforts as a war of attrition. There are always people out there who can be socially engineered in their favor so, if they stay the course, they can always find a few. Oh, absolutely. It’s a numbers game. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/43 "2024-06-11T14:52:59Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > What annoys me is when someone gets hired at my agency and when they come on board they give their name a certain way, it gets put in our directory that way, it’s published everywhere that way, but if you address them that way they get offended. Let’s go with someone called Steven who prefers Steve. > > Dumbshit, if you wanted to be called Steve, tell people your name is Steve. They’ll put it in the system however you want. Don’t expect people to be fucking mind-readers. And make up your damn mind what you want to to be called and stick with it, don’t fuck around Mike-Michael Dave-David James-Jimmy Joe-Joseph whatever the Hell you are. I just saw a list of names that are going ‘extinct’; except most of them were common diminutives of longer names - Al, Bernie, Chuck, Dom, Bob & Rob, Dom, Cathy, Christi, Meg & Peggy. I bet there will still be lots of people going by those extinct names, just it’s not their legal name. > [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I get irritated when parents introduce me to their kids by my first name. Um, no. Your kids may address me as Mrs.[lastname] **or Ms [firstname]** Nope, nope, uh-uh, no way! You can call me Mr. Lastname or you can call me Firstname but Mr. Firstname just pisses me off. I know it’s common in the South but you can either address me in a respectful way (Mr. Lastname) or in a casual way (Firstname) but not some weirda$$ amalgamation of the two. ---
**Author:** ![FinsToTheLeft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finstotheleft/32/2930_2.png) [@FinsToTheLeft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinsToTheLeft)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/44 "2024-06-11T15:12:22Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I get irritated when parents introduce me to their kids by my first name. Um, no. Your kids may address me as Mrs.[lastname] or Ms [firstname], but I’m not their friend and they need to understand there’s a difference between their classmates and someone old enough to be their grandparent. I think this is both generational and geographic. Calling someone Mr./Mrs. Firstname would be very unusual, most likely from a non-native English speaker. Our kids friends never called us anything but our first names and Mr. Lastname was my dad. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/45 "2024-06-11T16:47:19Z")
That is absolutely correct. However, I still feel strongly about it, even though I’m only in my 50s. I’d still rather not be bullied by salespeople into doing something that makes me uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Chingon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chingon/32/17645_2.png) [@Chingon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chingon)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/46 "2024-06-11T17:05:56Z")
A child calling an adult Mr/Mrs/Miss First name is a very southern thing. At least the part of the south I lived in. ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/47 "2024-06-11T17:22:08Z")
Calling me anything besides “hey, asshole!” is generally going to be fine with me. I can’t imagine being offended by somebody communicating with me by name… even though I despise the name “Pat”, it doesn’t actually bother me when people use it to address me. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/48 "2024-06-11T17:27:06Z")
> [@Chingon](#): > > A child calling an adult Mr/Mrs/Miss First name is a very southern thing. At least the part of the south I lived in. I grew up in the suburbs of Baltimore. We called all adults Mr./Miss [First name] ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/49 "2024-06-11T17:28:55Z")
> [@FinsToTheLeft](#): > > I think this is both generational and geographic. Calling someone Mr./Mrs. Firstname would be very unusual, most likely from a non-native English speaker. Our kids friends never called us anything but our first names and Mr. Lastname was my dad. When my daughter was filming an industrial with lots of other kids, they handled the parents’ name problem by saying “Mrs. Andy’s Mom” or Mr. Lucy’s Dad." It worked pretty well. > [@wolfpup](#): > > Nope. Good real estate agents are very busy, make a lot of money, and don’t have time for cold calls. Bad real estate agents want your business but giving it to them is not likely to do you or them very much good. This nuisance invading your privacy should feel lucky you hung up instead of cursing them first. Last year around where I live the inventory was so low that real estate agents spent most of their time marketing. When they got a house to sell it went in under a week. I don’t get a lot of these calls, mostly flyers, but I don’t blame them for trying. ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/50 "2024-06-11T17:31:22Z")
I’m fine with being addressed by my first name. Maybe when I’m old enough to feel like a proper adult, I’ll feel differently about that. I’m old enough now to get senior tickets at many movie theaters though, so that day may never come. I agree hanging up on unsolicited sales call is the way to go. They’re trained to just keep talking nonstop to prevent you from getting a, “Sorry, not interested,” in to the conversation. I’m also particularly annoyed by the “do you want to sell your house” calls. Let’s see my “to-do” list for today, 1. Go to bank, 2. Pick up milk, 3. Sell house, 4. Talk to cat about that mice situation. Hey, it’s lucky you called! Really, a big help! Do you deliver groceries too? ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/51 "2024-06-11T17:38:23Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Last year around where I live the inventory was so low that real estate agents spent most of their time marketing. When they got a house to sell it went in under a week. I don’t get a lot of these calls, mostly flyers, but I don’t blame them for trying. “Under a week”? One house we put up for sale was literally sold within hours, and we then had some lunatics pounding on our door in the middle of the night claiming that their higher offer was being ignored (it was – I just didn’t trust them!). But regarding your quote, I, too, sympathize with anyone just trying to earn a living. My problem is with the way they go about it. I don’t mind flyers or billboards or signs on bus stop benches. But calling someone’s home is a personal intrusion. Also, although I don’t know anything about the real estate business, my observation is that ambitious youngsters just getting started tend to ally themselves with existing successful brokerages to learn the business and build their network of contacts. Those who think they can strike out on their own right away and build their clientele by annoying everybody in the phone book are doing it wrong, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![FinsToTheLeft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finstotheleft/32/2930_2.png) [@FinsToTheLeft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinsToTheLeft)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/52 "2024-06-11T17:38:51Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > When my daughter was filming an industrial with lots of other kids, they handled the parents’ name problem by saying “Mrs. Andy’s Mom” or Mr. Lucy’s Dad." It worked pretty well. I think socializing in dog parks works the same way. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/53 "2024-06-11T18:09:49Z")
I thought everyone there was called Hon. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/54 "2024-06-11T18:46:05Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > When my daughter was filming an industrial with lots of other kids, they handled the parents’ name problem by saying “Mrs. Andy’s Mom” or Mr. Lucy’s Dad." It worked pretty well. This is standard in any kid-centric situation, at least in SoCal. Whether school, club, extra-curricular, etc we’re always referred to as our child’s parent. Some people will apologize for not knowing the names of the other parents, but we’re all there because of our kids, so that’s the important info. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/55 "2024-06-11T19:05:03Z")
It is manners to refer to someone older as Mrs. Suntan. My friends children call me Miss Lastname. I didn’t know they dropped manners and respect cause its 2024. Though with my friends, sometimes I like to call them Lastname. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/56 "2024-06-11T19:46:30Z")
Hmm I agree about age being a factor; it feels rude to address an older person that you don’t know by their first name. …which is probably why I don’t mind being called by my first name. Because, even now at the age of 45, I feel the same age or younger as any other adult. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/57 "2024-06-11T22:04:13Z")
> [@Chingon](#): > > A child calling an adult Mr/Mrs/Miss First name is a very southern thing. At least the part of the south I lived in. Yes. However, for many of us northerners doing so is offensively familiar or otherwise extremely uncomfortable. It really, really irritates me when someone does that, excuses it as being something Southern, but at that moment we are in the northern part of the country by hundreds of miles. But of course we Yankee northerners should just STFU and submit to someone else’s customs, right? Don’t tell children to do that in the north. You do them no favors failing to mention customs are different in other places. When I used to visit the in-laws in Tennessee I followed Southern custom despite my discomfort because I was in the South. I expect Southerners who are in the North to follow _our_ customs. I expect strangers and children to address me as Ms. [Surname] until I say to call me by my first name. The other place is a medical setting. I want to be addressed as an adult, not a child. ---
**Author:** ![Chingon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chingon/32/17645_2.png) [@Chingon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chingon)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/58 "2024-06-11T22:20:11Z")
What on earth are you upset about? How in the world did you get the idea I was telling you or anyone else what to do or say? I’m not a southerner, I’m just relating where I heard people use Mr./Mrs./Miss First name. ---
**Author:** ![keeganst94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a6a055/32.png) [@keeganst94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keeganst94)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/59 "2024-06-11T22:24:22Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > I expect strangers and children to address me as Ms. [Surname] until I say to call me by my first name. > > The other place is a medical setting. I want to be addressed as an adult, not a child. Then I have to imagine you are disappointed any time you speak with anyone under the age of 40 or 50, including children. The custom of always referring to people as Mr/Mrs lastname is firmly dead, and has been for several decades. And for most people that age the idea that calling someone by their name - literally the thing that you have so people can address you by it - is demeaning or treating them as a child is utterly alien and incomprehensible. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/60 "2024-06-11T22:25:34Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > … addressing someone by their first name, to me, is a statement of “_I occupy a superior station that affords me this right_.” [Lighten up, Francis.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H-Cs-fi5tA) I take your point but times have changed, things are less formal these days. Something so trivial shouldn’t occupy so much of your headspace. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718.md?page=4)