# About your first name **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 11, 2024, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718 "2024-06-11T00:43:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2024, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/161 "2024-06-16T10:17:48Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > “Yes” works as well as “yes, sir”. “Would you like any help with that” is just as polite as it would be with gendered terms, and you don’t have to say things like “hey you!” > > It’s not actually difficult to eliminate these terms from every day language. I completely understand that this is a cultural question and most people don’t want to eliminate them. I’m not going to try to convince the world to change to suit my preferences. But it is still my preference and therefore it’s how I choose to present myself and interact with people. I, too, would like a gender-neutral term by which to address strangers that is universally accepted as polite. Unfortunately, that is not the world we live in. Meanwhile we all have to muddle through. I recommend being tolerant in public, even if that means gritting one’s teeth a lot, and venting in private. Such as on an anonymous internet message board. Which point some people are not getting - I don’t think anyone here “loses it” in public over this. We grit our teeth and get on with life. That does _not_ make our actual feelings go away. Which is why some of us come here and vent. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2024, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/162 "2024-06-16T10:25:19Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > > [@SuntanLotion](#): > > > > What about young lady or young man to a senior person? > > Patronizing as fuck, addressing them as you would a child. I can’t imagine anyone addressing my mother as “young lady” more than once (if they survived the first attempt). Besides, what’s wrong with being old? ^ This. Calling me “young lady” is stupid and fooling no one. I’m middle aged. I have more years behind me than before me. At work I’ll grit my teeth and get on with my day but no, it’s not flattering. It’s just stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Mallard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Mallard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mallard)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2024, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/163 "2024-06-16T18:26:23Z")
We’re the same way. Call from someone with no caller ID or in our contacts? It’s not answered on the fly, it goes to VM. However, so many don’t leave VM’s so the call does NOT get returned. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2024, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/164 "2024-06-16T19:57:58Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > I wasreferring to chela’s comment. “Your pastor” has no meaning for me. Ah. I didn’t get that. thx. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2024, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/165 "2024-06-16T20:15:16Z")
I refer to my Rabbi as Rabbi lastname. But i address him as firstname. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2024, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/166 "2024-06-16T23:11:14Z")
I refer to my Rabbi (actually, my late parents’ rabbi) as Rabbi _firstname_, which you have to admit is more old school. But I also address him as firstname. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2024, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/167 "2024-06-17T11:25:51Z")
There are people in my synagogue who address our rabbi as Rabbi firstname. But thinking about it, I’m not one of them. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2024, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/168 "2024-06-18T12:03:23Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > I, too, would like a gender-neutral term by which to address strangers that is universally accepted as polite. I suggest “Gent”. You can consider it to have been inspired by _gentleman_, _gentlewoman_, and _gentle-person_ but it would hopefully be thought of as a term in its own right. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2024, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/169 "2024-06-18T12:50:58Z")
Given the existing longstanding history of “gent” as short for “gentleman” only, I think that idea is dead on arrival. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2024, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/170 "2024-06-18T13:30:08Z")
Yeah, “gent” is one of the standard words in traditional contra dancing to refer to the boy’s role, for example. So it’s not just that it’s used for “gentleman”, it’s used to distinguish “gentlemen” from “ladies”. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2024, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/171 "2024-06-18T13:31:02Z")
Comrade comes to mind as a non-gendered word, but probably fails on other grounds. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![colinfred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colinfred/32/21338_2.png) [@colinfred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colinfred)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2024, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/172 "2024-06-18T13:33:14Z")
On the very few occasions I’ve needed to do it, I’ve gone with “boss”. I know they’re not actually my boss but it’s friendly, gender neutral and respectful. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2024, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/173 "2024-06-18T14:04:33Z")
> [@colinfred](#): > > On the very few occasions I’ve needed to do it, I’ve gone with “boss”. My son works in a prison in Florida. He tells me the older black inmates who have been there for decades, all call him boss. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2024, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/174 "2024-06-18T14:20:06Z")
Why is it people want to be gendered, pronoun-ed, respected, not dissed and ridiculed for their preferences but can’t abide a reference to any of the known ones? Traditionally used ones? What am I missing? Certainly I want to call a person their preferred _title(?)_. How can I know without they tell me? How can I ask without they get sideways about it? This world is topsy-turvy over this. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2024, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/175 "2024-06-18T14:24:07Z")
I use and get called boss on a semi-regular basis. I assume it’s guy shorthand. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2024, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/176 "2024-06-18T14:25:21Z")
I would answer to Duuude. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2024, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/177 "2024-06-18T14:57:04Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Comrade comes to mind as a non-gendered word, but probably fails on other grounds. 😉 Da.   ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2024, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/178 "2024-06-18T15:53:21Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > I would answer to Duuude. Dude is, believe it or not, gender neutral in Southern California as a form of address, kind of, which started in the late 80s. So anyone can say to anyone, “Dude, you need to chill”. Of course it’s informal and only really used by people under 50. Saying “look at that dude standing by your car” would only describe a man however. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2024, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/179 "2024-06-18T16:36:06Z")
I’ve actually heard someone use “dude” and “dudette” in the wild. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2024, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718/180 "2024-06-18T16:41:59Z")
I call the grandkids “dudes” and “dudettes”. The oldest(female) doesn’t like “dudette”. She says it makes her feel small. Out of the mouth of babes… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-your-first-name/1002718.md?page=10)