# Abraham Lincoln vs John Wilkes Booth **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 24, 2016, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789 "2016-08-24T06:07:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2016, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/21 "2016-08-24T17:59:41Z")
How about Andrew Jackson v Teddy Roosevelt? That would be epic. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2016, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/22 "2016-08-24T18:06:10Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > How about Andrew Jackson v Teddy Roosevelt? That would be epic. Never bet against the guy willing to take a bullet to the chest so he’ll have time to aim the kill shot in a duel. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2016, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/23 "2016-08-24T18:22:21Z")
[Recommended reading](https://www.amazon.com/How-Fight-Presidents-Defending-Yourself/dp/038534757X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1472062909&sr=1-1) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2016, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/24 "2016-08-24T18:33:40Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Never bet against the guy willing to take a bullet to the chest so he’ll have time to aim the kill shot in a duel. Never bet on a guy who can take a bullet to the chest and give a 90 minute speech after. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2016, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/25 "2016-08-24T18:42:03Z")
Lincoln. Even during the war and towards the end of his years, one way he endeared folks to him was by entertaining them with feats of strength. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2016, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/26 "2016-08-24T19:30:46Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > If the movies have taught us anything, it’s that Lincoln would have the purity of heart to win. Come on, don’t you know any science? That only works if they have a legal dispute of some kind. ---
**Author:** ![Debillw3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Debillw3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debillw3)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2016, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/27 "2016-08-24T19:39:52Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > OK. 56 year old Lincoln versus 72 year old Buzz Aldrin when he punched a conspiracy theorist? A conspiracy theorist who, despite getting clocked unexpectedly in the face, didn’t even hit the ground? Unless your point is to pit two weakened old guys against each other, I think you missed the mark. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2016, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/28 "2016-08-24T19:45:30Z")
It won’t be Abe. He told the guards to back off but not Mary Todd. She flies into a rage, grabs Booth by the balls, knocks him over the railing while still holding on. The castrated Booth bleeds out on the stage floor. Abe asks her “Do you have to do that every time someone tries to shoot me?” ---
**Author:** ![Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_Arachnid_Laser_1)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2016, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/29 "2016-08-24T20:02:55Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > How about Andrew Jackson v Teddy Roosevelt? That would be epic. You know who is unfairly underrated? George Bush senior. He was CIA director, right? Therefore he must have been a trained spy during the height of the cold war. The kind that knows how to kill you quickly and silently in twenty different ways. And a good one too. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2016, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/30 "2016-08-24T20:52:21Z")
I don’t think Abe would’ve called off his guard, but I bet Andrew Jackson would have. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2016, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/31 "2016-08-24T21:27:04Z")
Booth was 5’8" while Lincoln was 6’4". Even giving up 30 years, all Lincoln has to do is hold Booth off with one hand and slap him silly with the other. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2016, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/32 "2016-08-24T21:56:12Z")
Abe will suplex Booth off the balcony and break his neck upon hitting the stage, instead of his ankle. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/33 "2016-08-25T00:47:34Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Lincoln was a freakishly strong man with formidable reach, extensive wrestling experience and a frontier upbringing. Booth was a fucking _actor_. > > My money’s on Abe. And Abe was of the eye gouging school of rasslin’. And probably had a Bowie knife on him. Booth was wise to shoot him from behind. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/34 "2016-08-25T01:17:33Z")
> [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser](#): > > You know who is unfairly underrated? George Bush senior. He was CIA director, right? Therefore he must have been a trained spy during the height of the cold war. The kind that knows how to kill you quickly and silently in twenty different ways. And a good one too. Not to mention he was a badass fighter pilot from ww2 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/35 "2016-08-25T01:50:16Z")
> [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser](#): > > You know who is unfairly underrated? George Bush senior. He was CIA director, right? Therefore he must have been a trained spy during the height of the cold war. The kind that knows how to kill you quickly and silently in twenty different ways. And a good one too. Not sure if you are serious, but Bush was never a case officer. He had no training as a “spy.” Head of CIA is an administrative position, and does not require ninjitsu as a pre-req. ETA: Even case officers do not need to know how to kill people. Their job is recruiting disgruntled people. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/36 "2016-08-25T02:39:24Z")
But Bush Sr. DID jump out of a plane on his 90th birthday, so I’m willing to bet he was pretty fit when he was younger. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/37 "2016-08-25T02:43:27Z")
It literally takes 0 effort to fall from a height. And it was a tandem jump, so the other guy did all the landing. My point being that anyone or anything, living or dead, can be parachuted if you can get it up in the air. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/38 "2016-08-25T03:08:30Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > It literally takes 0 effort to fall from a height. And it was a tandem jump, so the other guy did all the landing. My point being that anyone or anything, living or dead, can be parachuted if you can get it up in the air. The guy was 90. I don’t think he could get it up anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/39 "2016-08-25T06:14:22Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Not sure if you are serious, but Bush was never a case officer. He had no training as a “spy.” Head of CIA is an administrative position, and does not require ninjitsu as a pre-req. > > ETA: Even case officers do not need to know how to kill people. Their job is recruiting disgruntled people. By and large, intelligence agencies don’t teach people how to fight and kill. If they need killers, they recruit them from the military and then, if they need to, teach them spycraft. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789/40 "2016-08-25T06:19:47Z")
> [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser](#): > > You know who is unfairly underrated? George Bush senior. \*\*He was CIA director, right? Therefore he must have been a trained spy during the height of the cold war. The kind that knows how to kill you quickly and silently in twenty different ways. \*\*And a good one too. Do you think Porter Goss and Leon Panetta were 007s, too? :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abraham-lincoln-vs-john-wilkes-booth/763789.md?page=3)