It is a little-known fact that the Confederate fiver found in Lincoln’s pocket the night he was assassinated was wrapped around a TastyKake Butterscotch Krimpet which he had planned on consuming during the intermission of Our American Cousin. The TastyKake company was a Southern concern, begun shortly after the Secession to supply the Rebellion with cake. Unfortunately, as the war progressed the needed ingredients for cake became scarcer and harder to procure, forcing the TastyKake management to turn to various material and chemical substitutions in order to keep up supply. The Butterscotch Krimpet was the ultimate achievement in this regard, being a creation almost entirely artificial and devoid of anything resembling a cake ingredient. If Lincoln had eaten it on that fateful night, he would have had no choice but to continue to prosecute the war unto the complete and total annihilation of the Confederacy for its crimes against humanity. John Wilkes Booth was well aware how Lincoln would have reacted and sought to prevent such an occurrence. Of course he could have slapped the blasted thing out of Lincoln’s hand over the balcony, but he was a bad actor, dammit! He had to steal the scene somehow.
So the next time you’re at the Winn-Dixie - and didn’t they really, when you think about it? - bow your head in memory of the war that was prevented, and pass up the TastyKake display to go buy something better for you.
Rather than start another thread elsewhere referring back to this one, I’m just going to ask this here. It sure won’t affect the signal-to-noise ratio much!
To wit: What does “cake” have to do with trolls?
(This is a serious question–I don’t get the joke.)
[sub]Does it have something to do with “not feeding the trolls?”[/sub]
While **ShrekLookAlike
[/quote]
is more correct, the laws were overturned in Ex Parte Waldorf-Astoria as being an urban legend. However one justice did comment afterward, off the record, that he thought the red coloring was a nice touch.
While ShrekLookAlike is more correct, the laws were overturned in Ex Parte Waldorf-Astoria as being an urban legend. However one justice did comment afterward, off the record, that he thought the red coloring was a nice touch.
Nothing. It was simply a (very successful) hijack of the thread to demonstrate a certain level of good-humored contempt for the idea starting a “debate” with a poorly laid out thesis and absolutely no supporting argument.
The second post could just as easily have been, “Do you think the Diamondbacks will take the Series?”
Nah, the Yanks will prevail. With those purple and green uniforms, the D’backs look like a bunch of Mardi Gras cakes. The big, bad Yankees won’t be creamed by cakes.
Ah Green Bean we meet again. Once more in a (hopefully) civil war against whose team is better. And once again you must be on the damn Yankee side. Your team will end up with cake in their face. Or is that pie and cheese, but we digress from this great battle. It is a battle for a honking big ring. I believe Abe would root for Arizona just cause he was a just and kind President whose faith in the underdog was not just frosting but a noble multilayered fruit filled ultimate sweet.
Thanks! I now return you to this Great Debate, already in progress. Feel free to debate the relative merits of Lincoln, cake, D-backs and damnYankees (that’s one word, you know).
Ah, Deb, my lifelong nemesis! Abe was a great guy, but there’s no way he’d root for a bunch of purple-wearing sissyboys on a two-bit expansion team that isn’t even properly affiliated with a city. And according to my mother, who is the only person who I hold in higher esteem than Mr. Lincoln, the Arizona Diamondbacks have gotta be the funniest looking team in baseball. Counsell looks like he is laying an egg when he bats.
Speaking of eggs, did you know that the classic recipe for pound cake is equal parts (by weight) of eggs, butter, sugar, and flour?
Green Bean with the following facts you must admit defeat. Your plans will be Reynold Wrapped[sup]TM[/sup] again.
Abe would definitely root for The Diamonbacks. On February 24, 1863 he signed a bill creating the separate Territory of Arizona. That means he had a personal connection with the state.
In Sandbergs Lincoln, it tell of many times when the New York press would write scathing editorials criticizing President Lincoln. These editorials weighed heavily on him. Hard to overcome that.
As Lincoln was opposed by the Copperheads*, I’m sure he wouldn’t have cared much for the Diamondbacks either.
Go Yankees!
*[sub]1 : a common pit viper (Agkistrodon contortrix) of the eastern and central U.S.
2 : a person in the northern states who sympathized with the South during the Civil War[/sub]
Really? That’s it? No yeast? No vanilla extract? No other ingredients other than eggs, butter, sugar, and flour?
Can I substitute lowfat margarine for the butter, eggwhites for the eggs, aspartame for the sugar, and whole wheat flour? No reason why my pound cake shouldn’t be healthy as well.
