# Absolutely 'Mildest' Thing That You Can Get Non-Trivial Jail Time For **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 19, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966 "2011-04-19T15:53:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/41 "2011-04-20T00:31:02Z")
If I try to make my gun quieter, I am looking at a felony. ---
**Author:** ![TNWPsycho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/47e85d/32.png) [@TNWPsycho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TNWPsycho)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/42 "2011-04-20T00:48:27Z")
A fire extinguisher at my work place has a tag which states you can have a “$500 and/or 6 months jail time for moving the extinguisher” ---
**Author:** ![fighting\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ac8455/32.png) [@fighting\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fighting_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/43 "2011-04-20T00:54:22Z")
In Michigan, adultery is a felony if I am reading [this link](http://www.legislature.mi.gov/(S(0bduk455oslkuu45ro1pzc45))/mileg.aspx?page=getObject&objectName=mcl-750-30) correctly ---
**Author:** ![fighting\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ac8455/32.png) [@fighting\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fighting_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/44 "2011-04-20T01:24:09Z")
Actually it gets [worse](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/18/AR2007011801777.html) apparently: > [@](#): > > In a footnote to a ruling involving a drugs-for-sex case, a Michigan appeals court said that if state law were enforced as written, adulterers could be put away for life. ---
**Author:** ![AZCowboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/97f17d/32.png) [@AZCowboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AZCowboy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/45 "2011-04-20T01:48:28Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > I WOULD argue that something like insider trading is about on a par with said joyriding, however. How? As someone who has lost well over a million dollars to what was essentially insider trading, I’d take you up on it. It certainly isn’t a victimless crime, and it is big money. ---
**Author:** ![Noel\_Prosequi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b19c9b/32.png) [@Noel\_Prosequi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noel_Prosequi)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/46 "2011-04-20T03:24:48Z")
I recall a bloke once who got nine months in gaol for failing to pay for a haircut. Of course, he was one of those serial pests who would go to small service businesses and get a meal/haircut/whatever and then on some imaginary point of “principle” refuse to pay. He thought that because each crime was of itself small potatoes, he couldn’t be sent to prison. Court thought otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![LunarPlexus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@LunarPlexus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LunarPlexus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/47 "2011-04-20T05:24:55Z")
> [@Fubaya](#): > > You can get jail time for littering on the first offense. AND you have to pick up the garbage. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/48 "2011-04-20T07:35:15Z")
There is a difference between what a sentence is as written and likely to get. A big difference. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/49 "2011-04-20T12:44:53Z")
> [@fighting\_ignorant](#): > > In Michigan, adultery is a felony if I am reading [this link](http://www.legislature.mi.gov/(S(0bduk455oslkuu45ro1pzc45))/mileg.aspx?page=getObject&objectName=mcl-750-30) correctly The other from a sourced linked in another thread, I learned that sleeping with your first cousin is a felony in Michigan. ---
**Author:** ![md2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@md2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md2000)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/50 "2011-04-20T13:12:42Z")
I remember once seeing the movie about a murder trial for an inmate in Alcatraz. The trial exposed the cruel and unusual punishment system there, and ended up shutting down the prison. The fellow who was the center of the case - a mildly retarded fellow who helped his brother rob a midwestern general store of $5 or so (allegedly because they were starving). Because the store was also the local postal service, it qualified as a federal crime, robbing the mail, and the guy essentially ended up spending 20-plus years being tortured in Alcatraz. Part of the allegations of the Wilson case was that prosecutors were more vindictive because he was black and the girl was white. I recall a news item about some craft lady who presented First Lady Hillary Clinton with a pretty faux indian artifact during a visit (Chicago?). She spent the next year and thousands on lawyers, in the days before DNA was common, to prove they were painted turkey feathers not eagle feathers. Also note, that Martha Stewart was convicted of obstruction of justice, the catch-all charge, not insider trading. She changed an item in her computer log, thought about it, and changed it back a little later -too bad, you did it! What’s gotta suck is being the low-paid lackey at the brokerage who was also threatened with a stiff sentence if Martha did not cooperate, to twist her arm. My favourite “obstruction of justice” was some guy who was thereatened with obstruction for telling his lawyers a lie. The prosecutor’s argument was that he told his lawyers, knowing they would repeat his lie to investigators - therefore he was responsible for misleading the investigation. Fortunately, the judge kiboshed that charge. How about one of the best singers on American Idol right now, who was convicted of turnsyle jumping and given 2 years probation and time served (3 weeks?). He had to beg the judge to anull the sentence or else he would have lost the opportunity to compete. Seriously,\*\*\* 2 years \*\*\*for turnstyle jumping??? That should be a $100 ticket like speeding or jaywalking. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/51 "2011-04-20T13:36:16Z")
Removing the tag from your mattress can result in lengthy jail times and massive fines:eek:😃 ---
**Author:** ![notquitekarpov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@notquitekarpov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notquitekarpov)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/52 "2011-04-20T15:36:58Z")
> [@LunarPlexus](#): > > AND you have to pick up the garbage. but at least you get to play with pencils as you sit on the bench there with the father stabbers and mother rapists… ---
**Author:** ![Turble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Turble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turble)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/53 "2011-04-20T16:21:34Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > … given that MJ is still illegal under Federal law, 100 mature plants is quite a lot! I thought the minimum penalty would be more than that. I’m pretty sure the law doesn’t specify _mature_ plants. I think even 100 tiny seedlings or clone cuttings qualify. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/54 "2011-04-20T16:23:41Z")
> [@notquitekarpov](#): > > but at least you get to play with pencils as you sit on the bench there with the father stabbers and mother rapists… Let’s not forget the father rapists! ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/55 "2011-04-20T16:44:28Z")
My vote is for perjury or contempt simply because it is so arbitrary. Mrs. Cad had an ex-husband take her to court on what he admitted \*in court \*was a forged court order (the judge didn’t exist and she was in Europe the day she “signed” the order). The judge dismissed the case but didn’t do one thing to him. So that doesn’t warrant any sanctions from a court but [not talking to a grand jury does](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greg_Anderson_(trainer)) or [gum in court](http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2011/03/29/3177005.htm) or [possibly sitting when the ballif says “All Rise!”](http://www.wikilaw3k.org/forum/Law-Ethics/Is-this-contempt-of-court-357308.htm) ---
**Author:** ![llcoolbj77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb9ed0/32.png) [@llcoolbj77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llcoolbj77)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/56 "2011-04-20T17:45:55Z")
In my jurisdiction, prosecutors will ask for a day in jail for every mile an hour over 90mph. It is charged as reckless driving by speed. ---
**Author:** ![SmithCommaJohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@SmithCommaJohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmithCommaJohn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966/57 "2011-04-20T20:10:58Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > Removing the tag from your mattress can result in lengthy jail times and massive fines:eek:😃 Actually, it’s only illegal to remove the tag before the mattress is sold to the end consumer. So, if you bought the mattress for your own use, it’s perfectly legal to remove the tag. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absolutely-mildest-thing-that-you-can-get-non-trivial-jail-time-for/578966.md?page=2)