# Absurdist jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 10, 2012, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759 "2012-07-10T03:25:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/1 "2012-07-10T03:25:05Z")
A guy was at a pro shop one day, and who does he see but Arnold Palmer! The guy walks up to the golf legend and says “You know, Mr. Palmer, they have a drink named after you.” Arnold says “Really? They have a drink named ‘Sam’!?” ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/2 "2012-07-10T03:35:01Z")
I don’t know if this quite qualifies for what you want, but I like to share it. This is a joke a particularly funny guy told me in junior high: Three men jumped off a bridge. (long beat) They died. The delivery, plus the subversion of expectations that it was going to be a joke, made me laugh. Everyone thought that was the funniest thing ever. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/3 "2012-07-10T07:34:40Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > A guy was at a pro shop one day, and who does he see but Arnold Palmer! The guy walks up to the golf legend and says “You know, Mr. Palmer, they have a drink named after you.” Arnold says “Really? They have a drink named ‘Sam’!?” Bob. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/4 "2012-07-10T07:39:01Z")
No soap, radio. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/5 "2012-07-10T10:26:43Z")
What do I look like, a typewriter!? ---
**Author:** ![ScarletNumber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@ScarletNumber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScarletNumber)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/6 "2012-07-10T10:52:41Z")
How do you get down from a tree? You don’t get down from a tree. You get down from a duck. ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/7 "2012-07-10T11:00:05Z")
How do you get down from a duck? It’s easy. A duck not as tall as a tree. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/8 "2012-07-10T11:17:31Z")
Why does a chicken? I don’t know why. – Winifred T. Pooh ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/9 "2012-07-10T11:47:56Z")
Why is a mouse when it spins? The higher the fewer. This is a real joke. It was my grandpa’s favorite joke and BG (before Google) I thought he made it up to mess with people. But lo and behold,[other people have heard it too.](http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=125315). ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/10 "2012-07-10T14:20:14Z")
What’s the difference between a duck? Its back left leg is both the same. How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A fish. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/11 "2012-07-10T14:38:30Z")
Knock knock. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/12 "2012-07-10T14:48:03Z")
Okay, is this one? **I walked out of a movie once. It was over…** I made it up. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/13 "2012-07-10T14:49:03Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Knock knock. I like. I also like the one where you tell them to start. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/14 "2012-07-10T15:43:42Z")
Q. Why is an elephant like an eggplant? A. They’re both purple, except for the elephant. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/15 "2012-07-10T16:22:54Z")
Scout camp in the 60’s… no, that’s not a joke, this is a story about a joke. The camp director was fairly humor-impaired, and was late for dinner the first night. So one of the staff came up with an idea, that people take turns during the week telling lonnnng, involvvvved jokes that took most of the dinner hour. The punch line would be absurd, but everyone would laugh themselves silly except the director. It worked! In fact, I could recite one right now: Two rabbits are separated at birth as their ice floe breaks in pieces (Oh, they were arctic bunnies, you see), and their mother shouts after them to never forget… _[ten minutes of impromptu plot follows]_ …and with his dying breath the ancient rabbit says… “Lightbulb!” _[cue hilarious laughter, and a food fight]_ [and, cue director looking puzzled] ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/16 "2012-07-10T16:25:02Z")
Moved Cafe Society --\> MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/17 "2012-07-10T16:41:20Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > I like. > > I also like the one where you tell them to start. Yeah. Them: Knock knock You: who’s there? Them: 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/18 "2012-07-10T16:44:42Z")
I first heard “the higher the fewer” on that Star Trek Next Generation episode. It made sense to me because I equated it to “it’s lonely at the top,” it being said by a Roman senator/Greek philosopher-type character. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/19 "2012-07-10T19:12:43Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > I like. > > I also like the one where you tell them to start. That’s one of my dad’s favorite jokes to tell kids. Especially because sometimes they’ll invent something amazing on the spot. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759/20 "2012-07-10T21:28:03Z")
> [@Wolverine](#): > > Why is a mouse when it spins? Part of the intro of Tom Baker’s Doctor. [from memory] Doctor: “If the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the square of the sum of the other two sides…?” Harry Sullivan: “Yes?” Doctor: “Why is a mouse when it spins.” And of course, “The higher, the fewer” from that Alexander TNG ep mentioned above. And, my standard absurd answer to virtually any question, joke or not, brought to you by a king not covered in shit: A Duck! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/absurdist-jokes/627759.md?page=2)