# Abuse this, Ted Haggard **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 14, 2008, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636 "2008-11-14T00:51:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2008, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/1 "2008-11-14T00:51:41Z")
Ted Haggard is now claiming he was abused. [Mr. Haggard’s lies.](http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iNSsiRhqa7bQlrClUE4-XRPgR-kwD94DNB1O0) What a useless exucse for a human being. What else could you expect from a Republican. I don’t believe you. Sounds like you’re working the ‘abuse’ angle to get back into a church. I’m sure the supply of rentboys and crystal meth is better for a wealthy pastor than an insurance agent. Next time, hang out in the Minneapolis airport bathroom. You’ll meet your fellow Republicans there ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2008, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/2 "2008-11-14T00:53:57Z")
How do connect abused in the second grade to republicans? I don’t mean to shit on your rant, but WHAFUCK? ---
**Author:** ![SuntanTigerTamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@SuntanTigerTamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanTigerTamer)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2008, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/3 "2008-11-14T01:31:43Z")
I think the “lying” gets you a pretty logical A+B=C 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2008, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/4 "2008-11-14T01:40:30Z")
> [@Omegaman](#): > > How do connect abused in the second grade to republicans? I don’t mean to shit on your rant, but WHAFUCK? Ok, abused to Republican is quite a curvy road. But gay to Republican seems a pretty straight shot these days. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2008, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/5 "2008-11-14T02:06:12Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > But gay to Republican seems a pretty straight shot these days. :rimshot: ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2008, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/6 "2008-11-14T02:23:02Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > :rimshot: Rim shot or rim job? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2008, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/7 "2008-11-14T02:29:06Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Rim shot or rim job? Technically, putting your mouth on any part of a fundievangelical pastor counts as a rim job… ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2008, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/8 "2008-11-14T02:49:10Z")
[QUOTE=AP] “We consistently blow it” when those opportunities arise, he said. [/QUOTE] Heh. ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2008, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/9 "2008-11-14T02:52:39Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Technically, putting your mouth on any part of a fundievangelical pastor counts as a rim job… Just stay away from the nose and mouth. How else can they get their meth fix? ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2008, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/10 "2008-11-14T03:26:21Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Technically, putting your mouth on any part of a fundievangelical pastor counts as a rim job… Hell, put your mouth on any part of a fundievangelical pastor and you’re practically engaging in coprophagia! ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2008, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/11 "2008-11-14T03:26:45Z")
Yay, another reasonably valid post ruined by partisanship. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2008, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/12 "2008-11-14T05:50:15Z")
> [@dalej42](#): > > What a useless exucse for a human being. What else could you expect from a Republican. The views of dalej42 do not necessarily represent the views of other Doper Democrats (except the “Ted Haggard being a lying sack of shit” part, where, yeah, he probably speaks for all of us). I love how public figures tend to remember childhood trauma- sexual or otherwise- about the time they get exposed as a complete shitbag and or hypocrite. It’s possible Haggard’s telling the truth and really was sexually abused as a child, who knows, but if that’s the case- 1- he survived sexual abuse as a child 2- he’s a total lying hypocritical closet fairy shitbag meth head as an adult and you will not that those are two separate sentences. I seriously doubt you could find one scholarly article or reputable study that concludes “and so there is a direct relationship between surviving childhood sexual abuse and becoming a complete total oxygen thieving lying shitbag hypocrite who buys crystal meth he claims he didn’t smoke from the bodybuilding he-whore he claimes he didn’t fuck all after spending a career condemning drugs and homosexuality”. At least I don’t think there is: I’m sure Paul Cameron is working on one but the peer review process usually takes at least an hour and can take even longer if his wife doesn’t want to referee it until Days of Our Lives is over. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2008, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/13 "2008-11-15T17:27:42Z")
> [@dalej42](#): > > …I’m sure the supply of rentboys and crystal meth is better for a wealthy pastor than an insurance agent… I must protest. I spent some time as an insurance agent and, while not a highly successful one, I _never_ ran out of rentboys or meth. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2008, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/14 "2008-11-15T21:59:23Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > he-whore I have this mental image of Eeyore raising a sword over his head and saying “Hello sailor!” ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/15 "2008-11-16T00:39:21Z")
Oh yeah. Haggard’s a lying, self-hating piece of crap who deserves all the horror life can dole out for him until he drops dead in the far, far distant future. He needs to suffer for every Gay person whose life he actively demeaned. So, you were abused, Haggard? Good, you animal. I hope you’re haunted by the memories for the rest of your miserable life, you unrepentant freak. You, Foley, Craig, and all the other holier-than-thou, family values advocating, anti-Gay legislating, homophobic proselytizing hypocrites are a blight on humanity, and I cannot wait until the day comes when persecuting homosexuals is no longer profitable, because you and all your ilk will have to get real jobs, you bloody neanderthal. ETA: Jesus Camp this, you dog! ---
**Author:** ![CircleofWillis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/54ee81/32.png) [@CircleofWillis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CircleofWillis)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/abuse-this-ted-haggard/472636/16 "2008-11-16T18:05:20Z")
> [@dalej42](#): > > What a useless exucse for a human being. What else could you expect from a Republican. > > I don’t believe you. Sounds like you’re working the ‘abuse’ angle to get back into a church. I’m sure the supply of rentboys and crystal meth is better for a wealthy pastor than an insurance agent. > > Next time, hang out in the Minneapolis airport bathroom. You’ll meet your fellow Republicans there What the bloody fuck does this have to do with Republicans? > [@Onomatopoeia](#): > > So, you were abused, Haggard? Good, you animal. I hope you’re haunted by the memories for the rest of your miserable life, you unrepentant freak. As someone who WAS abused as ahild… this has to be one of the most offensive, assholish, beyond the pale, fuckwitted, pieces of douchebaggery I have seen… and I saw all of Michael Moore’s movies. Ted Haggard probably IS lying. I wouldn’t put it the fucking scum,bag. If he ISN’T however… NOBODY deserves it… ever. It’s fucked me up for life. I have spent decades trying to get past it and zam pretty goddamn sure I never will. So to ever say anyone deserves or its good that they did have it happen is reprehensible on a very basic human level. So go fuclk yourself you piece of shit. Nobody deserves it…ever.