# Accidental jokes and puns **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 24, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632 "2000-08-24T20:13:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Torberg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ea924/32.png) [@Torberg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torberg)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/1 "2000-08-24T20:13:08Z")
We were talking about odd names the other day. Well, this isn’t about an odd name, but about a side effect of that name. I work in a hospital (IS Dept). The general pattern for extablishing a doctor’s identifier in the system is to use the first three letters of the last name and the first letter of the first name. So, for example, “Joe Smith, MD,” would have a mnemonic of “SMIJ.” As I’m sure most of us know, there are always bound to be silly codes as a result of such patterns. Anyway, my coworker just pointed out to me that one of the physician codes in the system ended up being entered as “SHIT” because that is the result of the aforementioned algorithm. Because I know that these combinations arise from time to time, I just said, “Well, it happens.” Then I realized what I just said. Tor ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/2 "2000-08-24T20:47:57Z")
Here’s one from my high school days that stuck with me for some reason. When I was in HS is was common to add the suffixes -ness or -age to certain words to give a kind of playful slang to them. (e.g. I’m tired- total lack of sleepage; home with the flu - stuck inside with major fluness) (these aren’t the best examples but for some reason I can’t think of any, it used to be much easier, major getting oldness) Anyway, one time one person said something that apparently was exactly what was on someone else’s mind, and as they laughed about it together one person said: (are you ready for this?) Wow! major ESPness Ha Ha Ha Ho he he he heheheh. On the floor baby. ---
**Author:** ![Spider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Spider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/3 "2000-08-24T20:52:30Z")
Oh Shit! Moe is Pauly Shore! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/4 "2000-08-24T21:51:31Z")
My husband stopped in at a gas station for some Rolaids, which he almost always carries on his person for his chronic heartburn. So he went up to the cashier with his three rolls of Rolaids, and she asked him (just like she asks everybody else): “Do you have gas?” Hardy har har. ---
**Author:** ![Torberg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ea924/32.png) [@Torberg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torberg)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/5 "2000-08-25T19:30:01Z")
Well, I just got a call from the Emergency Room. “Tor, we’re all having a good laugh about this, but can you tell me what [doctor]'s mnemonic is?” As I look the doctor up, sure enough, it’s the one that caused me to send the OP. Glad that the doctor didn’t get bent out of shape about it. They’re talking to the Medical Staff Dept (which maintains the Provider Dictionary in the system) about getting it changed. Tor ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/6 "2000-08-25T21:40:01Z")
One that I’ve remembered for about 15 years now is when my college roommate referred to Nancy Reagan as the heroine of the war on drugs. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/7 "2000-08-25T22:27:12Z")
My friend was looking for an (apparantly) obscure brand of cigarettes called “Sweet Dreams”. Having nothing else to do that day, I accompanied him to a local tobacco shop, where he walked up to the shopkeeper and asked him directly, “Do you have Sweet Dreams?” The shopkeeper had no knowledge of any such cigarettes, and so naturally thought my friend was inquiring about his nocturnal ruminations. 🙂 The look on the guy’s face as my friend tried to explain that he wasn’t some sicko pervert was absolutely priceless. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/8 "2000-08-26T01:24:25Z")
Near here is Moody Street. There is a building with several offices (some doctors)located there. The HUGE sign in front says: _Moody Complex_…when I first saw it, I thought: “First they called it \*manic depression,\*then it was _bipolar disorder_…now it’s _moody complex_!” When will it end? Oh, the insanity! ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/9 "2000-08-26T03:04:37Z")
There’s this one real estate sign that’s been up for a long time now on some vacant lot, with a phone number for a company called “Diversified Real **i** ty”. I’ve always had this vision of some sort of _Twilight Zone/Outer Limits_ style company that will send you to a parallel universe for the right price. Never have called the number, though… Gotta get a picture of that sign before they take it down… ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/10 "2000-08-26T03:22:37Z")
There is a realty company here called “Crye Leike Realtors” and I always read it as “Cry like Realtors”. Nobody else thinks it’s funny either. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/11 "2000-08-26T03:39:21Z")
well, a name I came across a few years back as a file clerk cracked me up. the file had scrawled across the top in black sharpie, I shit you not, “Jack Kannoff”. why would you go by Jack? ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/12 "2000-08-26T12:14:35Z")
There is a business in town called **Adcock Prosthetics**. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/13 "2000-08-26T17:55:04Z")
Back when DeathLlama and I were still “just friends” in college, we walked out of my apartment into the surprisingly chilly night air. Without a thought, I said, “Hello frigid air!” I paused as I realized what I said and looked at Bri, who apparently got it just as I did. Frigid air…Frigidaire! The refridgerator brand! Ooohhh…_that’s_ where it came from! We had a good laugh about that one. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/14 "2000-08-26T18:28:00Z")
My favorite unfortunate business name is **Amigone Funeral Home,** in Buffalo, NY. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/15 "2000-08-26T19:08:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jb\_farley \* > \*\*well, a name I came across a few years back as a file clerk cracked me up. the file had scrawled across the top in black sharpie, I shit you not, “Jack Kannoff”. > > why would you go by Jack? \*\* Whenever we get a telemarketing bullshit artist on the phone, we refer them to “Mr. Meoff. First name Jack.” See how long it takes them to get it. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/16 "2000-08-26T19:36:57Z")
I was imputing doctors into our new HMO. I made a list of some and hung it in my cubicle. Here are to of my favorites. Dr. Yakuri Takeshita. (He was not a proctologist) Dr. Godam Reddy. I just left that job to take a new one. Boy are my co-workers going to miss me. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/17 "2000-08-26T19:47:26Z")
There’s a used car dealership in town called, appropriately enough, USEM. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/18 "2000-08-26T20:24:59Z")
There used to be a dentist in Redondo Beach: Dr. Chu. There was an orthopedist in Manhattan Beach: Dr. Hurt. The sister of Governor Jerry Brown had married a man named Rice. She was running for officer herself and was identified in radio ads as “Kathleen Brown Rice.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lasset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f0a364/32.png) [@Lasset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasset)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/19 "2000-08-26T20:51:11Z")
My roommate kept dragging us past the cemetery to see the tombstone on the corner by the street: **P. Burns** ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632/20 "2000-08-26T22:34:27Z")
How about the People’s Natural Gas Company, in western PA? As for people’s names, I’m not sure if this one was ever a real name, but I remember once hearing mention of a woman named “Carrie Hunt”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-jokes-and-puns/30632.md?page=2)