# Accidental Rape **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 27, 2006, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502 "2006-04-27T20:09:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/1 "2006-04-27T20:09:34Z")
From [here](http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,18879056-2,00.html?from=rss). A man goes home with a woman. They go to bed. In the middle of the night he gets up and goes to the toilet. He mistakenly returns to the wrong room, where the woman’s flatmate is in bed. He has sex with her. The flatmate assumes it is her boyfriend, who had actually fallen asleep drunk in the lounge. Afterwards, the flatmate switches on the light, realises it is not her boyfriend and has hysterics. The man is to be charged with rape. Believe me, I sympathise with everyone invoilved in this, but am I a bad person for finding this extremely funny? ---
**Author:** ![Jelymag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jelymag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jelymag)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/2 "2006-04-27T20:35:31Z")
[QUOTE=rayh] …Believe me, I sympathise with everyone invoilved in this, but am I a bad person for finding this extremely funny? [/QUOTE] If you are I’m bad too… (Assuming the man is honest and wasn’t just being a sleaze, in which case it’s not funny and he’s an ass.) Question- how do you have sex with a man you THINK is your boyfriend? Even when it’s “completely dark,” I doubt his body was so completely similar that he felt the same next to her. And was their no verbal, uh, communication during this time? Could she not tell that it was a different voice? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Jelymag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jelymag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jelymag)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/3 "2006-04-27T20:35:53Z")
[QUOTE=rayh] …Believe me, I sympathise with everyone invoilved in this, but am I a bad person for finding this extremely funny? [/QUOTE] If you are I’m bad too… (Assuming the man is honest and wasn’t just being a sleaze, in which case it’s not funny and he’s an ass.) Question- how do you have sex with a man you THINK is your boyfriend? Even when it’s “completely dark,” I doubt his body was so completely similar that he felt the same next to her. And was there no verbal, uh, communication during this time? Could she not tell that it was a different voice? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/4 "2006-04-27T20:36:43Z")
Unless we’re dealing with two sets of identical twins here, this story’s gotta be bunk. Like all women or men are interchangeable? Even when I’ve been drinking I’m pretty sure I can distinguish my boyfriend from a stranger. My guess is that this is some kind of fraud (on both their parts), though I can’t tell how. ---
**Author:** ![Jelymag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jelymag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jelymag)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/5 "2006-04-27T20:37:08Z")
oops. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/6 "2006-04-27T20:53:25Z")
I think I read about this case in Penthouse Forum, except I remember it ending differently… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/7 "2006-04-27T20:53:32Z")
Man, its like a damn Whitehall Farce. I expect the witness wil go: “And then the bishop walked into the tennis court!” ---
**Author:** ![xbuckeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9e8a1a/32.png) [@xbuckeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xbuckeye)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/8 "2006-04-27T20:58:46Z")
Correct me if I’m not reading this right, but it seems to me that if Party A has sex with Party B and Party A believes he is haveing sex with Party C and Party B believes she is having sex with Party D, if Party A is guilty of rape, so is Party B. I think the whole thing reeks of injustice. She never said no, and there is no indication she was too impared to say no. He was impared enough to go tot he wrong room, shouldn’t she them be charged with rape since he was impaired? Guilt after the fact is nothing at all like rape. He didn’t do it just to dominate or humiliate her, and her boyfriend wanting to hunt him down and kill him only proves she is dating a hotheaded idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/9 "2006-04-27T21:17:54Z")
[QUOTE=rayh] Believe me, I sympathise with everyone invoilved in this, but am I a bad person for finding this extremely funny? [/QUOTE] Haven’t people have been laughing at these sorts of stories at least as far back as the _Decameron_? ---
**Author:** ![Iris\_Rings](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d78d45/32.png) [@Iris\_Rings](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iris_Rings)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/10 "2006-04-27T21:33:29Z")
It’s a big deal for the woman if she gets pregnant, right? Or some disease? Or her boyfriend spurns her because of it. Or her family and friends. ---
**Author:** ![Taran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Taran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taran)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/11 "2006-04-27T21:56:32Z")
I see why he’s being charged with rape, even if it’s bizarre. Why isn’t she? The, er, confusion appears to have been reciprocal. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/12 "2006-04-27T21:59:37Z")
If the story actually occured as presented, then she’s just as guilty of rape as he is. “In her statement to police, the magazine editor said Mr Chappell was “pretty drunk” when they arrived home and they went to her bed but she refused to have sex.” If Mr Chappell was drunk, and the accuser had sex with him anyway, didn’t she legally rape him? ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/13 "2006-04-27T22:06:56Z")
[QUOTE=Iris Rings] It’s a big deal for the woman if she gets pregnant, right? Or some disease? Or her boyfriend spurns her because of it. Or her family and friends. [/QUOTE] Every one of those has significant consequences for the man as well. He could just as easily lose his relationship, get a disease, become ostracized from his family and friends for “raping” this innocent girl. And if she becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby he now has a lifelong commitment he may or may not have been prepared for. I’m not trying to minimize the impact to the woman, just pointing out that it isn’t quite one-sided. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/14 "2006-04-27T22:13:51Z")
[QUOTE=Thudlow Boink] Haven’t people have been laughing at these sorts of stories at least as far back as the _Decameron_? [/QUOTE] 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/15 "2006-04-27T23:09:54Z")
[QUOTE=Iris Rings] It’s a big deal for the woman if she gets pregnant, right? Or some disease? Or her boyfriend spurns her because of it. Or her family and friends. [/QUOTE] How are any of these questions relevant to the question of whether the crime of rape exists here? ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_I\_Am](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@Sam\_I\_Am](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_I_Am)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/16 "2006-04-28T03:09:51Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur866] If the story actually occured as presented, then she’s just as guilty of rape as he is. “In her statement to police, the magazine editor said Mr Chappell was “pretty drunk” when they arrived home and they went to her bed but she refused to have sex.” If Mr Chappell was drunk, and the accuser had sex with him anyway, didn’t she legally rape him? [/QUOTE] How can this be? The roommate was _asleep_ when he started having sex with her. And even if what he claims is true, that he thought she was the woman he came home with - well that woman had said no already. How is it remotely acceptable if a woman says no, to start having sex with her anyway while she is asleep? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/17 "2006-04-28T04:02:22Z")
[QUOTE=Sam I Am] How can this be? The roommate was _asleep_ when he started having sex with her. And even if what he claims is true, that he thought she was the woman he came home with - well that woman had said no already. How is it remotely acceptable if a woman says no, to start having sex with her anyway while she is asleep? [/QUOTE] > [@](#): > > He got into bed with the flatmate and initiated sex, allegedly believing she was the other woman. > > The flatmate participated because she thought it was her own boyfriend who had come to bed after falling asleep in the loungeroom. I read that as he started kissing and/or fondling her, she woke up and reciprocated. Penis ensued. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/accidental-rape/354502/18 "2006-04-28T04:06:17Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > If the story actually occured as presented, then she’s just as guilty of rape as he is. > > “In her statement to police, the magazine editor said Mr Chappell was “pretty drunk” when they arrived home and they went to her bed but she refused to have sex.” > > If Mr Chappell was drunk, and the accuser had sex with him anyway, didn’t she legally rape him? She would technically be a rapist in Arizona, I can tell you that.