# According to Christian theology, will a twice-married person be with BOTH spouses in Heaven? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [October 26, 2011, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819 "2011-10-26T03:36:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/21 "2011-10-26T15:28:40Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Wait, do you mean that if I convert to Christianity, and go to Christian heaven, then I can be sure I can’t be having fun with my bestest girl? Or my three bestest girls? Fuck that noise then–this whole conversion thing is now OOTFQ, fuhgeddaboutit. That totally sucks–back to Plan A: Straight to Hell! Ooh, so close, we nearly had you signed up and then there turns out to be one little thing… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/22 "2011-10-26T15:31:20Z")
I wouldn’t worry about the Beatific Vision. It’s sorta-literal and sorta-metaphoric. It’s not staring at God all day. I mean, it is, but… Dammit, I’m not going to repeat long theological lessons. The short version is, you aren’t going to be bored. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/23 "2011-10-26T15:37:39Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Leave it to Gustav Dore to make the Divine Presence seem dark and menacing. And, oddly, looking a lot like a panel from a Chick Tract. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swords_to_Plowshares)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/24 "2011-10-26T20:34:38Z")
The Beatific Vision sounds kind of like the opposite of viewing Cthulhu. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/25 "2011-10-26T22:38:09Z")
Apparently everyone in Heaven are sexless, genderless, and hormone-less. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/26 "2011-10-26T22:53:05Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Wait, do you mean that if I convert to Christianity, and go to Christian heaven, then I can be sure I can’t be having fun with my bestest girl? Or my three bestest girls? Fuck that noise then–this whole conversion thing is now OOTFQ, fuhgeddaboutit. That totally sucks–back to Plan A: Straight to Hell! You want Chix in Paradise, Islam is your Plan C. But you can’t get a **drink** there ever. If that doesn’t suit, try Buddhism. If you drink and chase chix it will, I fear, retard your karma and you’ll be repeating that grasping-attached behavior lifetime after lifetime until you wise up. Sorry. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![code\_grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@code\_grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/code_grey)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/27 "2011-10-27T00:17:57Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > You want Chix in Paradise, Islam is your Plan C. But you can’t get a **drink** there ever. sure you can. Koran promises entire rivers of wine in paradise. ---
**Author:** ![rat\_avatar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rat_avatar/32/255_2.png) [@rat\_avatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rat_avatar)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/28 "2011-10-27T00:30:18Z")
It may have changed now that they have gone more main-stream but in the LDS religion, if you made it to the “celestial kingdom” at an exaltation level, you are awarded your own planet to populate, your first wife, bound to you in the temple would be with you. I guess on the bright side, if you had a great dislike for her you could take comfort in the fact that her job was to be eternally pregnant. BTW all kids who die before 9(?) get to go there too, I don’t know if they get a planet or not. IMHO that is a lot nicer than the Hell trip other christian kids get to head to. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/29 "2011-10-27T01:15:58Z")
> [@code\_grey](#): > > sure you can. Koran promises entire rivers of wine in paradise. 😕 But, then, why . . . ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/30 "2011-10-27T04:15:55Z")
You folks do know there is no one “Christian theology,” don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/31 "2011-10-27T05:20:21Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Leave it to Gustav Dore to make the Divine Presence seem dark and menacing. Are you kidding? I think that’s beautiful! I’ve seen that in nature! A full moon encircled by clouds looks just like that! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/32 "2011-10-27T09:24:00Z")
> [@rat\_avatar](#): > > It may have changed now that they have gone more main-stream but in the LDS religion, if you made it to the “celestial kingdom” at an exaltation level, you are awarded your own planet to populate, your first wife, bound to you in the temple would be with you. > > I guess on the bright side, if you had a great dislike for her you could take comfort in the fact that her job was to be eternally pregnant. > BTW all kids who die before 9(?) get to go there too, I don’t know if they get a planet or not. > > IMHO that is a lot nicer than the Hell trip other christian kids get to head to. Gotta love how male-centric the first explanation is; I mean, I know LDS isn’t exactly matriarchal, but the description itself has “you” meaning “men”; the description of what happens to women is incomplete (what happens to women who aren’t the first wife?) and completely dependent on what’s been described for men. “Other Christian kids” don’t go to Hell, the concept of Limbo came along partly as a place to “park” unbaptised children; any child that’s baptised and still young enough to be considered innocent would go to Heaven. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/33 "2011-10-27T10:34:57Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > retard your karma ( I like this as a username. Srsly, is this whole Christian concept of paradise not completely ill-thought out? It’s like someone winged it a long time ago, and then for hundreds of years afterwards, it’s been like “Wait, how would this work? You get to be HOW old in Heaven, and hang out with WHO doing WHAT? Really? Fuck that noise, Hell sounds much nicer, the way you describe Heaven. Wait, what? Oh, you can? Sez who? Oh, that guy from a long ago was wrong? You just got the latest bulletin on afterlife? Oh, you get the Afterlife Newsletter? Good.” etc. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/34 "2011-10-27T10:36:54Z")
> [@code\_grey](#): > > sure you can. Koran promises entire rivers of wine in paradise. But my idea of paradise is fishing. What am I going to catch in a river of wine? Pickled herring? ---
**Author:** ![monavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e0b2c6/32.png) [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/35 "2011-10-27T11:25:47Z")
According to the NT, it will depend on if the second spouse was married after a devorice, It states that he who puts away his wife and marries another commits adultery, and if he marries one who was put away he also commits adultery, so it may be that both are in Hell? Then there are some who don’t want to see their spouses any more, they stayed together because they believed they had to,but had the hope that death does part them! ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/36 "2011-10-27T11:33:25Z")
> [@monavis](#): > > Then there are some who don’t want to see their spouses any more, they stayed together because they believed they had to,but had the hope that death does part them! With my ex-, I certainly remember hoping her death would part us. ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/37 "2011-10-27T11:43:38Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > OTOH, the thought that I might have to spend eternity banging my ex-wife makes Hell seem downright cozy. > [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > That totally sucks–back to Plan A: Straight to Hell! > [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Fuck that noise, Hell sounds much nicer, the way you describe Heaven. Enquiring minds wish to know, **pseudotriton ruber ruber** , what your thoughts are about heaven v. hell? Don’t be so reticent, now, we’re really curious. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/38 "2011-10-27T11:52:32Z")
> [@monavis](#): > > According to the NT, it will depend on if the second spouse was married after a devorice, It states that he who puts away his wife and marries another commits adultery, and if he marries one who was put away he also commits adultery, so it may be that both are in Hell? Then there are some who don’t want to see their spouses any more, they stayed together because they believed they had to,but had the hope that death does part them! Yes but Jesus states that He has authority to forgive all sins, and those who believe and are baptized will be saved, so adultery doesn’t matter. Even King David was never accused of adultery by God, though murder David had to repent of. And I don’t believe you can make a solid case for one spouse being saved causing the other to be, that verse, by Paul, was specifically stated as not the words of the Lord, only Paul as perhaps giving advice beyond any revelation. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/39 "2011-10-27T11:53:11Z")
> [@Paranoid\_Randroid](#): > > your thoughts … about heaven v. hell? . That it never ceases to amuse me? Srsly, this is on my All-time Top Ten list of Silly Ill-thought-out Judeo-Christian concepts. (Can’t really blame the Jews much, true, but I always like to give them credit for starting all the silliness.) Just the concept of “being” (whatever that means) with your first spouse for eternity is a hellish concept for some guys, who got married young, drunk and hormonally-impaired, and couldn’t wait until the bitch was dead, while with other guys, the first wife was ok, but that nasty bitch they married on the rebound was a nightmare–and you’re going to make a theological rule based on just about nothing (if that’s not redundant) that applies to both? Comedy gold, Jerry, I tell you, comedy gold. ---
**Author:** ![Walther\_Ego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Walther\_Ego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walther_Ego)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819/40 "2011-10-27T12:13:38Z")
I wouldn’t want to spend an eternity anywhere. Alone or in company. I know I’d get bored after the first 10^30 years. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/according-to-christian-theology-will-a-twice-married-person-be-with-both-spouses-in-heaven/600819.md?page=3)