# ACK! They got Maynard! (Tool is over) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 6, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052 "2005-04-06T16:21:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/1 "2005-04-06T16:21:27Z")
From [mtv.com](http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1499613/20050405/tool.jhtml?headlines=true) > [@](#): > > Recent postings on two Tool Web sites — one of them purportedly by > Keenan himself — contend that the singer has found religion and has left Tool. Could this really be? On Tuesday afternoon (April 5), MTV News’ Kurt Loder e-mailed Keenan for confirmation, and this is what he e-mailed back: “I did, in fact, find Jesus. More news to follow. God bless ya.” I didn’t much care when Brian Head got “saved” because Korn sucked anyway, so his brainwashing is no big loss, but to lose a brilliant writer and performer like Maynard Keenan is just plain depressing. No more dark, sardonic songs like “Undertow” and “Aenima”–he will subjugate his talent to making saccharine, second-rate Jesus pop. I’m really, really hoping this is a prolonged April Fool’s prank because otherwise I’m going to be depressed. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/2 "2005-04-06T16:30:43Z")
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! …playing \*Sober \* right now. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/3 "2005-04-06T16:32:00Z")
To be fair, there is Christian metal that doesn’t suck, but yeah, this is bad news. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/4 "2005-04-06T16:33:26Z")
I enjoy Chevelle. Are they still a christian band? ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/5 "2005-04-06T16:43:09Z")
Hmmm…perhaps Welch and Maynard will start collaborating. May the spirit of Stryper find new voices! ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/6 "2005-04-06T16:46:16Z")
> [@UrbanChic](#): > > I enjoy Chevelle. Are they still a christian band? I didn’t know they were ever a Christian band. > [@Neurotik](#): > > Hmmm…perhaps Welch and Maynard will start collaborating. May the spirit of Stryper find new voices! Actually, it would be really cool if Maynard could get involved with Trouble somehow. His voice would fit really well in there. ---
**Author:** ![audiobottle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@audiobottle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audiobottle)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/7 "2005-04-06T16:46:45Z")
Huh. I’m a Christian and even I am a little bummed by this news since I can’t imagine Maynard continuing to make the same kind of music. On the other hand, I can’t really be upset with somebody else’s choices if it makes them happy and brings them peace. ---
**Author:** ![Jenny\_Haniver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Jenny\_Haniver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenny_Haniver)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/8 "2005-04-06T16:53:32Z")
Were these postings made on the first of the month? ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/9 "2005-04-06T16:56:39Z")
Yeah, that’s what I was thinking - they were posted last Friday. Anything particularly …strange about posting them THAT particular day? ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/10 "2005-04-06T16:59:27Z")
My mistake - it was posted on Thursday. I stand by the rest of my post, though. I think it’s a joke and not atypical of Maynard’s sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/11 "2005-04-06T17:01:36Z")
> [@Jenny Haniver](#): > > Were these postings made on the first of the month? Yes, and so as I noted in my OP, I hope that this is merely a prolonged prank. But Kurt Loder got an e-mail from Maynard yesterday, 4 days after April Fool’s, confirming that had in fact “found God.” So, I don’t know, but if it’s so, it’s not good. > [@audiobottle](#): > > On the other hand, I can’t really be upset with somebody else’s choices if it makes them happy and brings them peace. A. Happy people rarely make good art. This is especially so of musicians. B. Happiness and peace derived from belief in unreality are naught but self-deception. I’d feel the same way if he had become a Scientologist or an Amway salesman. C. I want another Tool album! ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/12 "2005-04-06T17:34:13Z")
I am soooo sorry a dark & tormented artist may have found solace in Christ. Maynard’s been wrestling with Jesus for a while. It was inevitable. Anyway- think about it- Christians have produced- The Book of Revelation Dies Irae The Divine Comedy The Sistine Chapel Paradise Lost Sinners In the Hands of an Angry God and hey, don’t forget Flannery O’Connor, Walker Percy, U2 and Johnny Cash! It’s not all happy happy joy joy! We Christians can still be dark and tormented and artistic! Tori Amos, you’re next! ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/13 "2005-04-06T17:37:21Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > there is Christian metal that doesn’t suck This statement makes no sense. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/14 "2005-04-06T17:48:40Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > I am soooo sorry a dark & tormented artist may have found solace in Christ. > Maynard’s been wrestling with Jesus for a while. It was inevitable. > > Anyway- think about it- > > Christians have produced- > > The Book of Revelation > Dies Irae > The Divine Comedy > The Sistine Chapel > Paradise Lost > Sinners In the Hands of an Angry God > > and hey, don’t forget Flannery O’Connor, Walker Percy, U2 and Johnny Cash! > > It’s not all happy happy joy joy! We Christians can still be dark and tormented and artistic! Well, OK, Maynard can be a Christian as long as you make sure he wears a hair shirt, scourges himself in the morning while saying the Rosary, and puts out a new Tool album, dang it! > [@](#): > > Tori Amos, you’re next! I look forward to her cover of “You Light Up My Life.” ---
**Author:** ![unwashed\_brain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a9adbd/32.png) [@unwashed\_brain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unwashed_brain)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/15 "2005-04-06T17:49:30Z")
I’m 99% sure this is [toolshed.down.net](http://toolshed.down.net)’s annual April Fool’s joke. Maynard lying to that tool Kurt Loder seems more likely than him telling the truth. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/16 "2005-04-06T17:51:54Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > The Book of Revelation > Dies Irae > The Divine Comedy > The Sistine Chapel > Paradise Lost > Sinners In the Hands of an Angry God > > and hey, don’t forget Flannery O’Connor, Walker Percy, U2 and Johnny Cash! > > It’s not all happy happy joy joy! We Christians can still be dark and tormented and artistic! You forgot The Brothers Karamazoz and Crime and Pumishment. And anything by Kierkegaard. Still, though. I need to see some proof that dark tormented _rock and roll_ can be produced by Christians (I know there’s been some produced _about_ Christianity, but I don’t think Nick Cave is actually saved.) ---
**Author:** ![audiobottle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@audiobottle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audiobottle)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/17 "2005-04-06T17:54:16Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > A. Happy people rarely make good art. This is especially so of musicians. > B. Happiness and peace derived from belief in unreality are naught but self-deception. I’d feel the same way if he had become a Scientologist or an Amway salesman. > C. I want another Tool album! I agree with A and C, and as for B, well… if he keeps this belief in his unreality until the day he dies, how is this self-deception hurting him any? Besides, maybe he’ll join up with Opus Dei, take [corporal mortification](http://www.odan.org/corporal_mortification.htm) to its extreme, and then we’ll have the tormented Christian instead of the tormented atheist. ---
**Author:** ![Kid\_A\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Kid\_A\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kid_A_1)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/18 "2005-04-06T17:54:51Z")
This better be an April Fool’s joke. This totally crapped on my so far excellent day. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/19 "2005-04-06T17:57:32Z")
Well, I recall SOMEONE on this board saying something about how Christianity was always a force for evil in the world. Maybe this is what he had in mind… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/20 "2005-04-06T19:20:59Z")
Christian Metal… Christian Metal… > [@](#): > > Have you ever thought about your soul - can it be saved > Or perhaps you think that when you’re dead > you just stay in your grave > Is God just a thought within your head > or is he a part of you > Is Christ just a name that you read in a book > when you were at school? > When you think about death do you lose your breathe > or do you keep your cool? > Would you like to see the Pope, on the end of a rope > > - Do you think he’s a fool? > Well I’ve seen the truth. I’ve seen the light > and I’ve changed my ways > And I’ll be prepared when you’re lonely > and scared at the end of your days Eh, it could work, but you’d need someone whose name means metal to sing it. I dunno… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052.md?page=2)