# ACK! They got Maynard! (Tool is over) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 6, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052 "2005-04-06T16:21:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jweb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@jweb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jweb)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/41 "2005-04-07T03:32:31Z")
I read about this on [toolband.com](http://toolband.com) the day it was posted… but I’m pretty sure it’s just Maynard’s way of joking around with his fans. My guess is that we won’t hear much from Tool or Maynard for another month or so, and then suddenly we’ll hear that the album is finished and is due for imminent release. Even if it is true Maynard has found Jesus and is leaving Tool, at least we have all of his previous work to enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![Kid\_A\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Kid\_A\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kid_A_1)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/42 "2005-04-07T03:37:29Z")
I’m now convinced that this has to be an elongated April Fool’s joke. Maynard’s sitting back right now, having a good laugh at how distraught his millions of sheep are. In a bit, he’ll reveal it’s all a hoax and the new single will be out in a couple of weeks. Right? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/43 "2005-04-07T03:51:38Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Don’t forget, [Jesus is f’ing metal!](http://www.thinkgeek.com/pennyarcade/swag/6fc1/) I am _ **so** _ buying that. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/44 "2005-04-07T04:03:41Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > This is worse than Dimebag’s death. :eek: Yeah, except not really. I’m also hoping it’s a publicity stunt. That would be really funny. If it’s true, I would be shocked. It’d be a complete 180° from this big speech he made right before sliding into the title track from Opiate when I saw them in concert. I wish I could remember what he said, but it was about organized religion (with a tiny nod to the events of 9/11) and the general public’s interpretation of the bible, and thinking for yourself and not getting caught up in this bullshit, and being true to yourself and blahblahblah. It was scathing and wonderful, and I knew before he was finished that he’d be doing Opiate next because it was so perfect. And now he’s going to drop Tool for that? Huh? So yeah, count me as shocked. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/45 "2005-04-07T04:03:51Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > To be fair, there is Christian metal that doesn’t suck, but yeah, this is bad news. Thanks! Now I have blood flowing out of my ass and ears simultaniously! Actually, I was talking to Maynard the other day and he told me… …to not talk about what we discussed! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/46 "2005-04-07T06:14:19Z")
Granted, he’s not turning out any dark rock classics anymore, but Vincent Furnier’s conversion hasn’t caused him to kill Alice Cooper (any more than he already does in many concerts). PEOPLE! Traditionalist Passion-focused Catholicism, Calvinist Double-Predestination, Fundist Apocalyptism, Orthodox Mysticism, Kierkegaardian Existentialism- WE CHRISTIANS GOT PLENTY OF DARKNESS TO FUEL GOOD ART! Btw, other examples of Christian-themed Dark Art in Cinema- A Clockwork Orange Bram Stoker’s Dracula (the actual novel & the Coppola movie) Blade Runner (Roy Batty’s nail & dove motif, how obvious is that?!) Sling Blade & its companion The Apostle Kevin Smith’s Dogma Michael Tolkin’s The Rapture Night of the Hunter oh, and in books- the best of Stephen King- CARRIE, THE STAND, DESPERATION (hell, he had to take a detour into it on KINGDOM HOSPITAL- OK, not the best example) Btw, lemme drop another one on ya- Anne Rice is now promoting the NDE “rescue from Hell by Jesus” account of Howard Storm, AND working on her novel “Christ the Lord”. Of course, her Vampire novels MEMNOCH and ARMAND were strongly Christ-laden anyway. ---
**Author:** ![stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stately_plump_buck_mulligan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/47 "2005-04-07T08:14:12Z")
[http://toolshed.down.net/0001.html](http://toolshed.down.net/0001.html) > [@](#): > > Mwaha. Chalk up another success for our annual April Fools’ Day gag. Maynard found Jesus. Sure he did. This year’s prank actually got a mention over at [mtv.com](http://mtv.com), making it the first April Fools’ joke to get written up there since the ol’ Bus Crash of 1997. (They have since updated the original article to reflect the fact that they fell for it. Excellent.) Fan responses ranged from disbelief to despondent, which I suppose is good for this sort of thing. If you’re curious, some of them are posted here. § ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/48 "2005-04-07T09:02:14Z")
> [@stately plump buck mulligan](#): > > [http://toolshed.down.net/0001.html](http://toolshed.down.net/0001.html) OK, he got us good. But when Maynard awakens before the Big Faceless Judge & watches “This Way Your Life”… “Maynard, on April 1, 2005, you announced you had come to faith in My Son- all for an April Fools Joke.” HAW HAW! ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/49 "2005-04-07T10:37:45Z")
(For those who missed it, the extended quote above was from Black Sabbath, After Forever.) ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/50 "2005-04-07T11:43:51Z")
Good, he got me. Awesome! (big sigh of relief) ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/51 "2005-04-07T12:04:59Z")
I’m really surprised how many of you fell for that. Suckers. Heh heh. I thought it was pretty obviously a dig against Head from _Korn_. “Wait! I’ve found Jesus TOO!!” I’m am curious as to whether a “saved” Maynard would act a little less angry. . . or do radio interviews. . . or perhaps actually **face** the audience during a show. Hmmmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/52 "2005-04-07T13:17:09Z")
> [@UrbanChic](#): > > I enjoy Chevelle. Are they still a christian band? The members are very religous themselves. The lead singer dumped one of my friends because she was ‘too much of a temptation’. She’s still friends with him though. ---
**Author:** ![unwashed\_brain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a9adbd/32.png) [@unwashed\_brain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unwashed_brain)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/53 "2005-04-07T14:09:10Z")
> [@unwashed brain](#): > > I’m 99% sure this is [toolshed.down.net](http://toolshed.down.net)’s annual April Fool’s joke. Maynard lying to that tool Kurt Loder seems more likely than him telling the truth. > [@stately plump buck mulligan](#): > > [http://toolshed.down.net/0001.html](http://toolshed.down.net/0001.html) Told ya so!!! Told ya so!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/54 "2005-04-07T15:04:14Z")
> [@unwashed brain](#): > > Told ya so!!! Told ya so!!! 😃 You forgot the last line… Tol’ja, tol’ja, tol’ja so! Thanks to Debra Messing. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/55 "2005-04-07T16:05:18Z")
Good gag. Not a huge fan of Tool… their music, in my opinion, is not the Be All End All that so many folks seem to feel it is, but that was FUNNY! ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052/56 "2005-04-07T16:06:23Z")
Yeah, that was good. I still think Maynard should hook up with Trouble or some other old-school doom metal band. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ack-they-got-maynard-tool-is-over/298052.md?page=2)