# Act Now!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639
**Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
**Created:** [April 28, 2009, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639 "2009-04-28T17:38:13Z")
**Posts on this page:** 14
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/21 "2009-04-30T17:46:48Z")
You mean those:
Dateline: Monday 8:30 AM
A release of new Morgan City Dollars has been released.
Shot of a **HORRIBLY DATED** piece of film, with rent a cop and a bank vault door,
Blah blah blah
Strict Limit of 5 coins per caller
blah blah blah
Will the price of Silver rise again to help China?
Blah blah blah
\*Proof \*coins blah .999 percent pure **LEAF** silver blah blah blah
That \*\*POS \*\*ad ?
Yeah That Ad had a million things fishy with it.
---
### Author:  [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/22 "2009-04-30T19:27:05Z")
> [@Sparky812](#):
>
> BTW Great column **MsRobyn**.
Thanks!
> [@](#):
>
> /slight hijack …A tip for tracking who is selling your info.
> Years ago I applied for a credit card at a major department store and someone at their end read my middle initial incorrectly. Subsequently, I realized that some of the junk mail, spam, telemarketers, etc. were using this initial. Naturally, out of curiosity, whenever I filled out an application or gave personal information, I would assign a different middle name and/or initial to that account. For example, for Zellers my middle initial is Z.
> You’d be very surprised which “trusted” instititions are sharing your info…:eek:
When I was pregnant with the sprog, my mother thought we should have transposed his first and middle names. So she ordered a gift to go to J. Aaron’s Mum. Almost seven years later, we still get junk mail addressed to J. Aaron’s Mum. And when I see it, I carefully pick it up, roll my eyes, and throw it right into the trash. I can’t even remember what the original gift was.
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### Author:  [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2009, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/23 "2009-05-01T00:02:50Z")
Well if you never though that the [Slap Chop](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA) could get more any more exciting.
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### Author:  [@Alex\_Dubinsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alex_Dubinsky)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2009, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/24 "2009-05-01T01:17:44Z")
> [@Meeko](#):
>
> The one I like, and actually kinda gives itself away:
>
> **“If the phone lines are busy, please keep trying.”**
>
> Now, the immediate message tries to imply that the item being sold over the phone is overly popular.
>
> However, they are\*\* NOT \*\*saying “Our Phone Lines are currently busy”
>
> It inflates the perceived popularity of the item. I doubt the phone lines are busy at all.
>
> Epitome of wishful thinking.
I don’t think they’re saying the item is hugely popular. I think it’s saying there’s one dude in his underwear, who might be on the john.
---
### Author:  [@Alex\_Dubinsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alex_Dubinsky)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2009, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/25 "2009-05-01T01:18:54Z")
What I don’t understand about these ads is why they’re all the same format with the same blue background. Doesn’t that scream cheesy? Why not reinvent yourselves…
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### Author:  [@Czechmate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czechmate)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2009, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/26 "2009-05-01T07:12:14Z")
Maybe she didn’t love his slap-chop nuts after all. Poor Vince was arrested not too long ago for battery against a prostitute.
[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/27/vince-shlomi-shamwow-pitc\_n\_180210.html](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/27/vince-shlomi-shamwow-pitc_n_180210.html)
If anything, it’s got the commercials there as well for your viewing pleasure.
~Czech
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### Author:  [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/27 "2009-05-01T16:31:42Z")
The Smoking Gun had some stuff about Mr. Offer’s arrest a while back, which I looked at. The mug shot’s a little scary.
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### Author:  [@Czechmate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czechmate)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2009, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/28 "2009-05-01T21:23:55Z")
Someone with far too much time and a sense for catchy music has made the Slap/Chop commercial actually fun and quite funny to watch.
[The Rap Chop](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA)
~Czech
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### Author:  [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)
#### Post date: [May 2, 2009, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/29 "2009-05-02T00:46:51Z")
> [@Alex\_Dubinsky](#):
>
> What I don’t understand about these ads is why they’re all the same format with the same blue background. Doesn’t that scream cheesy? Why not reinvent yourselves…
Yeah. Be Daring.
Sell your items for 19.94.
+6.96 S&H
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### Author:  [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2009, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/30 "2009-05-04T03:32:34Z")
> [@fifty-six](#):
>
> Well if you never though that the [Slap Chop](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA) could get more any more exciting.
Check out this one.
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0cgQkT4ScQ)
---
### Author:  [@Blue\_Mood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Mood)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2009, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/31 "2009-05-07T08:01:16Z")
> [@fifty-six](#):
>
> Well if you never though that the [Slap Chop](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA) could get more any more exciting.
I can’t believe I watched the whole thing! That was oddly compelling.
[QUOTE=Czechmate]
Someone with far too much time and a sense for catchy music has made the Slap/Chop commercial actually fun and quite funny to watch.
[/QUOTE]
**fifty-six** beat you to it.
---
### Author:  [@weewwilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/weewwilly)
#### Post date: [May 15, 2009, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/32 "2009-05-15T05:37:55Z")
Hypermercials didn’t show up until the 70’s and the price back then was $9.95 into the 80’s. I am thinking Ron didn’t really come in until late 70’s and his big heyday was the 80’s. Late 80’s thru 90’s was $14.95.
Infomercials in the 60’s and 70’s? no way, at least not the tacky misleading trash of the last 25 years.
A good general rule is if you feel like taking a shower within the first five seconds, it’s a hypermercial. If you feel like relocating to another planet, it’s a infomercial.
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [May 15, 2009, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/33 "2009-05-15T13:38:10Z")
**Ms R** , was that your first Staff Report? Well done all round either way. 🙂
FWIW, I ordered a _Girls Gone Wild_ video in college that had a “call in the next ten minutes” offer of an extra video, and a “use your credit card” offer of a _third_ video, and did not call in the next ten minutes, but got the second video.
I also used my credit card, and got the third video - plus about 9 more after that at $39.95 a pop. :smack:
Remarkably difficult to opt out of the program.
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### Author:  [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)
#### Post date: [May 16, 2009, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/act-now/494639/34 "2009-05-16T03:00:24Z")
Thanks, RNATB! It wasn’t my first, but it was my first in a while.
I have a report from the field. I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond this afternoon and saw just about every product advertised on TV. In fact, I was greeted by Vince Offer’s ugly mug as I walked in the store. I don’t think I’m going to shop there again, not because of all the “As Seen on TV” crap but because all the perfumed stuff made my eyes water. Seriously, it was like being punched repeatedly in the face with stinky fists.
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