# Actor Tom Sizemore Fails Drug Test with Fake Penis **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 12, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763 "2005-02-12T18:24:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/1 "2005-02-12T18:24:34Z")
The headline says it all. 😃 > **[Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines](https://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=638&e=3&u=%2Fnm%2F20050211%2Fen_nm%2Fcrime_sizemore_dc)** > > The latest news and headlines from Yahoo! News. Get breaking news stories and in-depth coverage with videos and photos. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/2 "2005-02-12T18:25:49Z")
The _Whizzanator_??? ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/3 "2005-02-12T18:29:19Z")
Sounds like a device Ahnold patented. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![jester21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed655f/32.png) [@jester21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jester21)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/4 "2005-02-12T18:30:40Z")
saw this: > [@](#): > > He was ordered to remain behind bars until a hearing on Feb. 24, unless he posts $25,000 bond and was gonna say: As if THAT will be a problem… Then saw this: > [@](#): > > During the hearing, Sizemore’s lawyer told the court that his client was destitute, living in a garage in Whittier, California, and that he was an expectant father, Carney told Reuters. considering the money he must demand for ANY movie appearance… that is sad… just sad. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/5 "2005-02-12T18:33:41Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > The _Whizzanator_??? Yep, and looks like they offer a GUARANTEE!! [http://www.thewhizzinator.com/](http://www.thewhizzinator.com/) > [@](#): > > Due to the nature of the product, if it has been used in any way misused, there will be no refund. If any of the components of The Whizzinator fail within 30 days, under normal use, the purchaser will be entitled to an exchange of the defective parts. Exchanges can only be made with proof of purchase and must be sent to the address below. So cheer up Tom, all is not lost! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/6 "2005-02-12T18:36:56Z")
Maybe now they’ll lock this loser up for a while. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/7 "2005-02-12T18:37:53Z")
Not a cheap fake penis either. $150.00 plus more for fake pee ($12.00) and heating pads. From the website: > [@](#): > > IMPORTANT! Please Select Color: Looks like length is standard. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/8 "2005-02-12T18:39:21Z")
> [@jester21](#): > > … > considering the money he must demand for ANY movie appearance… that is sad… just sad. A drug habit isn’t cheap. Considering his recent legal problems I doubt he’s getting many offers. Here he was with a chance to turn things around and he couldn’t get off the drugs. Maybe Robert Downey Jr needs to give him a talking to. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/9 "2005-02-12T19:00:08Z")
Not a bad body of work: > **[Tom Sizemore - IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001744/)** > > Tom Sizemore, Actor: Saving Private Ryan. Tom Sizemore rose in prominence throughout the 1990s, establishing himself as a memorable tough-guy actor, sought by the most respected directors in the business. Thomas Edward Sizemore, Jr. was born in... ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/10 "2005-02-12T19:22:24Z")
> [@vetbridge](#): > > Not a bad body of work: > > [http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001744/](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001744/) He’s listed as a producer of something in pre-production. Doesn’t a producer supply monetary backing? An odd little note, I noticed his CHina Beach character’s name has the same name as [this actor](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0893283/). Intentional or coincidence? It doesn’t sound like a name you’d come up with out of the blue. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/11 "2005-02-12T19:46:36Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > He’s listed as a producer of something in pre-production. Doesn’t a producer supply monetary backing? I thought that was an executive producer. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/12 "2005-02-12T22:13:02Z")
[Great minds, thinking alike …](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=302005) (although this thread’s slightly late) … 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/13 "2005-02-12T22:18:23Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > He’s listed as a producer of something in pre-production. That’s a typo. It should have said pee-production. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actor-tom-sizemore-fails-drug-test-with-fake-penis/289763/14 "2005-02-13T00:43:06Z")
\*\*Withnail: \*\*At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. \*\*Marwood: \*\*What do you want a child for? \*\*Withnail: \*\*To tutor it in the ways of righteousness and procure some uncontaminated urine. \*He takes out the bottle and instructions provided by Danny. \* \*\*Withnail: \*\*This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. Then you get horrible drunk and they can’t fucking touch you. According to these instructions, you refuse everything except a urine sample. You undo your valve, give them a dose of unadulterated child’s piss and they have to give you your keys back.