# Actors whose mere name in the credits will pretty much guarantee a shitty movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 1, 2007, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315 "2007-06-01T07:00:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/81 "2007-06-02T10:09:01Z")
Pick any of the Wayon’s borthers. ---
**Author:** ![Aquila\_Be](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a698b9/32.png) [@Aquila\_Be](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquila_Be)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/82 "2007-06-02T10:30:25Z")
81 posts and no mention of Sylvester Stallone. Has he retired as an actor? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/83 "2007-06-02T11:31:17Z")
[QUOTE=Aquila Be] 81 posts and no mention of Sylvester Stallone. Has he retired as an actor? 😃 [/QUOTE] Sadly, no. He’s busy putting the finishing touches on Rambo XXIII. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/84 "2007-06-02T11:34:11Z")
[QUOTE=Khadaji] Pick any of the Wayon’s borthers. [/QUOTE] Nah… Damon and Keenan have been in some pretty damn good movies. The younger bunch aren’t worth much, but the older two Wayanses don’t belong near this list. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/85 "2007-06-02T11:38:42Z")
[QUOTE=Tengu] Nah… Damon and Keenan have been in some pretty damn good movies. [/QUOTE] One of them was in _Requiem for a Dream_, but that’s the only one I can think of. ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/86 "2007-06-02T12:20:07Z")
I apologize for my own contribution to turning this into a “bad actor” thread instead of a “bad movie” thread\* with my comment about Bill Paxton. My inclusion of Chris Klein was in fact meant in the spirit of the thread. I actually like him, I think he’s got a certain raw talent, but good God can he not choose script to save his life. Taking a more scientific approach, I went to the [IMDB Bottom 100 List](http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom)\*\* , and clicked around to see if anyone set off any warning lights. The current bottom movie is last year’s [Crossover](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0473024/). Looking through the credits, I notice [Wayne Brady](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0103750/)’s name, which unexpectedly got my Crap-der sense tingling. Now I like Brady, I think he’s got a really affable stage and screen presence. But weeding out his theatrical releases from his voluminous TV and video work, we get: Crossover (1.5) [The List](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0451082/) (3.7) [Roll Bounce](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0403455/) (4.5) and [Clifford’s Big Movie](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0398872/) (5.2), low for a kid flick, a genre which usually more or less gets a pass. The man apparently can not choose a script, and it’s getting worse every year. Bonus points for Drew Carey’s horribly ill-advised TV movie musical, [Geppetto](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0200656/). Further down (up) the list, we find [The Hillz](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0343788/) and I can barely hear myself think over the klaxon warnings that accompany the name [Paris Hilton](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0385296/). If you remove _Wonderland_ (a decent film where she pretty much had a walk-on) from her list, I’m not sure the rest of her actual movie-movies reach 10 out of 10 even if you add all the scores together. It’s safe to say if you’ve cast her in a major role, you probably haven’t made your bid for the quality vote in the rest of the project, either. So so far, my list is: Chris Klein Wayne Brady Paris Hilton - Although I will defend the notion that Bill Paxton’s acting is so bad he reduces the overall quality of the pictures he’s in \*\*This is obviously not the thread to discuss whether the IMDB Bottom 100 list is really representative, or skews too heavily toward recent work, a favorite local topic, I know. It is enough for my present purposes that it’s a list of 100 bad films, whether or not they are properly ranked or if omissions have occurred ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/87 "2007-06-02T12:46:34Z")
[QUOTE=Dead Badger] (And yes, I know I shouldn’t be expecting anything of a movie made so that young recording millionaires can play with guns, but there’s an _art_ to making bad movies, dammit.) [/QUOTE] I don’t know if I understood your post right, but I’d say that using stock footage, if its surroundings are markedly different from the surroundings it supposedly takes place in is a pretty good “bad movie” technique. ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/88 "2007-06-02T14:03:13Z")
[QUOTE=Khadaji] Pick any of the Wayon’s borthers. [/QUOTE] You don’t get to say that about _I’m Gonna Get You Sucka_. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/89 "2007-06-02T14:21:24Z")
[QUOTE=DrDeth] Warning! Names include: Tom Cruise (recent only) Travolta (again, recent only) [/QUOTE] Exactly. Back in the day, maybe not. But now? Eeeew. What about Jacylyn Smith? Isn’t she mostly in those bad, tv movies, based on romance novels? Oh! I know! -Jennifer Love Hewitt! ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/90 "2007-06-02T14:34:10Z")
[QUOTE=Priceguy] I see that Steven Seagal has already been mentioned. Doesn’t matter. This thread should have consisted of two words - “Steven” and “Seagal” - followed by a closing because the matter had been thoroughly exhausted. The guy isn’t just a crappy actor, a liar and a self-deluded self-aggrandizing bullshitter; he’s like a black hole for talent. Has he ever made a single movie that wasn’t actually unpleasant to watch? [/QUOTE] The one where he got sucked out of the plane early in the movie wasn’t too bad. In fact that was the highlight of the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/91 "2007-06-02T15:22:01Z")
Did anybody but me read the first word in the OP? **Actors**. A lot ofthe above people don’t qualify for that job description. ---
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/92 "2007-06-02T15:51:59Z")
[QUOTE=Aquila Be] 81 posts and no mention of Sylvester Stallone. Has he retired as an actor? 😃 [/QUOTE] I’ll admit, after First Blood I’m not aware of a single Stallone credit which is a good movie (I genuinely enjoyed First Blood.) However, Rocky did win the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1976 and in many ways the film was Stallone’s brainchild (he wrote the screenplay) and his performance in it was widely praised at the time. It was a pretty remarkable picture considering it wasn’t hyped at all and initially wasn’t given a wide release, it had a budget of $1.2m and made over $100m. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/93 "2007-06-02T16:34:14Z")
My top two: Jeff Fahey Corin Nemec Almost guaranteed that any Sunday you can find one of them in a bad SciFi channel movie. Corin Nemec: SS Doomtrooper? Sweet. Mansquito? Double sweet. (those two were on a double feature about a month ago). He’s not a bad actor, exactly, but he does some CRAP movies. Jeff Fahey: Scorpius Gigantus, Manticore AND Locusts: The 8th Plague. C list, all the way. Others: All with exceptions, obviously. Lance Henriksen is fine as an actor but can’t pick a good script. Robert Davi tends to pick awful stuff to be in. Howie Mandel. Rutger Hauer has been in true stinkers, pretty much since LadyHawke. Bryan Brown. C. Thomas Howell. Fred Ward. Tom Sizemore. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/94 "2007-06-02T16:55:27Z")
Fairuza Balk, in anything after _Gas Food Lodging_. If I’m not mistaken, her whole bad-movie streak started with _The Craft_. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/95 "2007-06-02T17:53:35Z")
Lauren Holly (one reviewer described her as : “A big screen body with a small screen talent”) ZsaZsa Gabor, the inspiration for Paris Hilton’s “movie career” Did somebody mention Pia Zadora ? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/96 "2007-06-02T17:58:14Z")
[QUOTE=FilmGeek] Tom Sizemore. [/QUOTE] Especially his [last movie](http://www.somethingawful.com/d/horrors-of-porn/complete-tom-sizemore.php)… (Warning: SomethingAweful link…) ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/97 "2007-06-02T23:46:57Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] I don’t know if I understood your post right, but I’d say that using stock footage, if its surroundings are markedly different from the surroundings it supposedly takes place in is a pretty good “bad movie” technique. [/QUOTE] Nah, I wasn’t being clear. They film Seagal in the same sets, but pretty much on his own, doing one of his two facial expressions, and maybe tensing for combat. They then splice these shots into the rest of the movie to make it look like Seagal is in it, whereas really he never even met any of the other actors involved. It’s definitely a bad movie technique, but it’s not an _entertainingly_ bad technique. I watch a Seagal movie to see him wave his hands ridiculously and have stuntmen fall over in front of him, and possibly to see him perform a ridiculous native ritual with his guru; not to see 2 seconds of him grimacing spliced with two stuntmen fighting, followed by Ja Rule curling his lip and holding a gun sideways. And while some may complain that this thread has devolved into “actors I hate”, I will defend the nomination of Seagal to the death. I love him, but his presence in any movie _these days_ is an absolute cast-iron guarantee that it will be poop. Not even amusingly bad. Just poop. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/98 "2007-06-03T00:19:17Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny Hildo] Udo Kier [/QUOTE] What??? I haven’t read the rest of this thread (will shortly) but AKA the OP, Udo rules. He was in The Kingdom. He was in Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein. He’s totally creepy. What’s wrong with that? I’m going with Kirk Cameron, who’s totally creepy but not in a good way. ---
**Author:** ![BrassyPhrase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea666f/32.png) [@BrassyPhrase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrassyPhrase)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2007, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/99 "2007-06-03T01:12:04Z")
I cannot believe that no one has mentioned Tim Allen. He was funny for about five minutes as a standup; funny for about a year as TV show star. I watched that first Santa Clause movie on cable and maybe one other with him…though the Sweet Lord has taken pity on me and made me forget what it was. No. Never. And NO. He is someone I will change the channel when I see him. ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2007, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315/100 "2007-06-03T03:53:57Z")
Hey, how did we forget [Clint Howard](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0397212/), at least when he’s a featured performer (he shows up in all his brother’s films, some of which are decent). I mean, a lot of his work may be in films that are so bad they’re good, if that’s your thing, but there’s no questioning that they are BAD. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/actors-whose-mere-name-in-the-credits-will-pretty-much-guarantee-a-shitty-movie/406315.md?page=6)