# Adam's Penis in the Sistine Chapel **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 5, 2018, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521 "2018-10-05T19:20:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/21 "2018-10-05T23:05:53Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > What’s up with that strange looking wart on Adam’s upper thigh on the Sistine Chapel’s ceiling? Is that [weird little flap](http://www.italianrenaissance.org/michelangelo-creation-of-adam/) supposed to be Adam’s penis? Okay, it’s flaccid, obviously. But isn’t it a little misshapen? > > I mean, fine, the penis supposed to be laying on its side. But Adam’s heavily muscled right leg is straight out and his left leg is bent at the knee. Adam’s resting on his naked ass, so by that perspective, the penis should be tucked between the two legs, and hidden away like in a PG-13 movie. But no, his wang is peeking out, up and over the right leg. Wouldn’t it slide off? What’s holding it there? Scotch tape? > > I admit, my experience with the resting pose of a male penis is somewhat scant, but that picture always seemed wrong to me. It’s like Michelangelo was saying, “Well if you can’t see his dong, he’s not really naked.” > > What do you guys think? If THAT bothers you, you should see Michelangelo’s tits (well, the ones he sculptured or painted, not his very own). Yeah, he was a genius, but he couldn’t work with the female form… ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/22 "2018-10-05T23:06:56Z")
God spoke to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden one day. He said he had two gifts, one for each of them, and they could choose what they wanted. “The first gift is the ability to aim your pee-stream…” God said. Adam interrupted excitedly, “Oooh! Oooh! Lord, give me that one! That would be so much fun! I could write my name when I pee, and I could pee on things to claim them, and I could put out fires, and pee on bugs, and…” God said, “Very well.” So Adam grew a penis, and ran around with his new toy, peeing on things and laughing with joy. God then turned to Eve and said, “I guess the other gift is for you, Eve. Here it is, multiple orgasms.” ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/23 "2018-10-05T23:17:10Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > …multiple orgasms." It’s still a close call which one to pick. If you’ve ever been in a small aircraft on a long flight, or cosy inside a backpacking tent when it’s pouring with rain, you wouldn’t underrate the ability to aim your pee into a bottle. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/24 "2018-10-05T23:28:31Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > It’s still a close call which one to pick. If you’ve ever been in a small aircraft on a long flight, or cosy inside a backpacking tent when it’s pouring with rain, you wouldn’t underrate the ability to aim your pee into a bottle. Yeah, having had multiple orgasms, I wouldn’t call it a close choice at all. ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/25 "2018-10-05T23:49:20Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I am happy for you. But, I did read the small penis thing was considered a good thing back then. Ain’t it weird how men like to brag how big they are nowadays? How things have changed. Go figure. Nothing’s changed; those tiny statuary winkles have made us feel better for centuries. I’ve been to the Sistone Chapel. You need opera glasses and a cattle prod for the tourists. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/26 "2018-10-06T03:22:09Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > What do you guys think? I have a nephew named Adam, so as a hard rule (no pun intended), I do _NOT_ think about Adam’s penis. I’m not that uncle. I’m the one who drinks. > [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Huh, I would have guessed Mr. Green’s revolver in the Billiard Room. 😃 Worst game of _Clue_ ever. Or best episode of _Law & Order._ ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/27 "2018-10-06T05:09:29Z")
> [@](#): > > that big muscle-y man oughta be more endowed. Side effect of the anabolic steroids. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/28 "2018-10-06T05:40:28Z")
All I know is it can’t be John Dillinger’s. That’s in the Smithsonian. Disclaimer: Yes, I know it really isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/29 "2018-10-06T06:46:01Z")
> [@psychobunny](#): > > Side effect of the anabolic steroids. He looks very atheletic. I hope he didn’t try the Olympics. With that dope on board. Wonder what the flag of Eden had on it? An Apple maybe? I digress. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/30 "2018-10-06T10:38:04Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > You do realize penises are attached, right? They don’t slide off us when we’re naked. > [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > [Speak for yourself](https://youtube.com/watch?v=byDiILrNbM4)! That vid had me laughing so hard that my pecker popped off. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/31 "2018-10-06T18:25:59Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > It’s still a close call which one to pick. If you’ve ever been in a small aircraft on a long flight, or cosy inside a backpacking tent when it’s pouring with rain, you wouldn’t underrate the ability to aim your pee into a bottle. No contest. Because [adaptive technology.](https://go-girl.com/) ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/32 "2018-10-06T21:59:27Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I have a nephew named Adam, so as a hard rule (no pun intended), I do _NOT_ think about Adam’s penis. I’m not that uncle. I’m the one who drinks. Funniest post I have read all week. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/33 "2018-10-06T23:21:12Z")
Jamie Hyneman is probably not surprised in the least. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2018, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/34 "2018-10-07T03:20:05Z")
That’s savage, Burpo. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2018, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/35 "2018-10-07T03:48:14Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > It’s still a close call which one to pick. If you’ve ever been in a small aircraft on a long flight, or cosy inside a backpacking tent when it’s pouring with rain, you wouldn’t underrate the ability to aim your pee into a bottle. It is not actually difficult (with a little practice) for women to successfully aim our pee into a bottle. We do generally need to pull our pants down for the purpose, and a wider-necked bottle makes it easier (unless we’re using a [FUD](https://www.backpacker.com/gear/the-complete-guide-to-female-urination-devices), as **susan** noted), but it’s not as though the ability to pee into a small container in a confined space is intrinsically limited to men. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2018, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/36 "2018-10-07T12:24:33Z")
> [@susan](#): > > No contest. Because [adaptive technology.](https://go-girl.com/) Myself, I would have marketed it as the Shenis… ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2018, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/37 "2018-10-07T14:38:57Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Myself, I would have marketed it as the Shenis… Endorsed by Charlie Sheenis? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2018, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/38 "2018-10-07T17:44:33Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > You should see[David](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_(Michelangelo)). Speaking of which, why isn’t he circumcissd? ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2018, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/39 "2018-10-07T22:03:57Z")
I wonder if the real God looks like Gabby Hayes. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2018, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521/40 "2018-10-07T22:22:45Z")
Fitzgerald: “Zelda told me that my penis is so small I couldn’t possibly satisfy any other woman.” Hemingway: “Why don’t you go to the Louvre and compare yourself to the statues?” Fitzgerald: “THOSE STATUES MAY NOT BE ACCURATE.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adams-penis-in-the-sistine-chapel/822521.md?page=3)