# Adapt a Shakespearean play for the screen in the worst possible way. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2015, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912 "2015-08-03T19:19:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/21 "2015-08-03T23:47:42Z")
_As You Like It_ as an episode of _Three’s Company_. Oh wait… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/22 "2015-08-03T23:59:09Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I can: There are far better uses to which to put Helena Bonham Carter bots, and with the finite number in inventory, demand already outpaces supply. Dude, it’s a SLAPBOT, not a comfortbot. Its only function is to beat people up while singing in Italian. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/23 "2015-08-04T00:33:26Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Dude, it’s a SLAPBOT, not a comfortbot. Its only function is to beat people up while singing in Italian. Wait, that’s NOT what you’re supposed to get from a Helena Bonham Carter comfortbot?! ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/24 "2015-08-04T00:45:37Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > One of these actually happened. Do you know which? > … > _Othello_ set aboard a space station in which the title character was a black android played by Djimon Hounsou and Iago a catlike alien played by Peter Dinklage > … This would restore my faith in a benevolent god. (Hmm - Djimon Housou as Othello, desirable for his beauty as much as enviable for his power - brings Ben Hur to mind) ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/25 "2015-08-04T01:01:00Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > **Macbeth** , starring > Miss Piggy as Lady Macbeth > Rizzo the Rat as the Porter **worst** adjective 1. superlative of bad, ill. of the poorest quality or the lowest standard; least good or desirable. (You seem a little confused, there) (Though, actually, I don’t see Kermit as Macbeth …) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/26 "2015-08-04T01:28:51Z")
Yeah, more of a Duncan, I think. I vote Gonzo for the title role. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/27 "2015-08-04T01:40:22Z")
Michael Bay production of _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ starring Shia LaBeouf as Oberon and Meagan Fox as Titania. They, along with their fairy servants, are revealed to be expatriated Autobots and Bottom turns out to be a really loud exploding Decepticon. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/28 "2015-08-04T01:45:11Z")
The Taming of the Shrew set in a modern high school? Because that movie sucked… ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/29 "2015-08-04T02:35:28Z")
> [@koeeoaddi](#): > > Michael Bay production of _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ starring Shia LaBeouf as Oberon and Meagan Fox as Titania. They, along with their fairy servants, are revealed to be expatriated Autobots and Bottom turns out to be a really loud exploding Decepticon. Or _The Tempest_ with LaBeouf as Prospero Miley Cyrus as Ariel, with Billy Ray as Sycorax Peter Dinklage as Caliban (we did say ‘worst’) Justin Bieber as Sebastian Then we fill the “smaller” roles with Judy Dench, Maggie Smith, and Helen Mirren. And Ian McKellen. We cannot use Jacobi or Stewart - they would have too much fun. Actually, if we add Jacobi and Stewart, and pick the right woman for Miranda, this could work … Miranda as the center and the Greater Six as an outer circle, as preying on the unsuspecting stars … Okay, we need to find some one to produce this. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/30 "2015-08-04T03:33:00Z")
Let Keanu Reeves take a steaming dump on Much Ado About Nothing? ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/31 "2015-08-04T03:51:00Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Let Keanu Reeves take a steaming dump on Much Ado About Nothing? It’s been done. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/32 "2015-08-04T04:17:19Z")
Wilfred Brimley\* IS \*Romeo! Margaret Rutherford \*IS \*Juliet! • • • Breathtaking . . . The Atlantic Incredible . . . The New Yorker Jesus Christ! . . . The Chicago Reader ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/33 "2015-08-04T05:13:46Z")
> [@Kenm](#): > > Wilfred Brimley\* IS \*Romeo! > > Margaret Rutherford \*IS \*Juliet! > > • • • > > Breathtaking . . . The Atlantic > > Incredible . . . The New Yorker > > Jesus Christ! . . . The Chicago Reader Given that she’s biologically old enough to be his grandmother, you might have a point. “Silver” versions of Romeo & Juliet have been done, but they seldom have the same heart-wrenching tragedy, because, well, old people aren’t that dumb. (If they were, they wouldn’t have gotten old.) ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/34 "2015-08-04T05:24:00Z")
_Henry V_: Directed by Paul Verhoeven, Screenplay by Edward Neumeier. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/35 "2015-08-04T07:45:19Z")
Darth Vader is Romeo. Captain Janeway is Juliet. C3PO is Mercutio. Worf is Tybalt. Friar Lawrence is Chewbacca. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/36 "2015-08-04T08:37:11Z")
Andrew Lloyd Weber’s Taming of the Shrew A Rockabilly Opera set in the Antebellum South Performed in Blackface ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/37 "2015-08-04T15:46:59Z")
> [@j666](#): > > Given that she’s biologically old enough to be his grandmother, you might have a point. > > “Silver” versions of Romeo & Juliet have been done, but they seldom have the same heart-wrenching tragedy, because, well, old people aren’t that dumb. > > (If they were, they wouldn’t have gotten old.) Really? You’re introducing logic to this thread? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/38 "2015-08-04T16:09:23Z")
Wasn’t the Andy Kauffman/Bernadette Peters “Heartbeeps” a ROBOT R&J? How can that not be among the worst actual adaptations? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/39 "2015-08-04T16:20:21Z")
OJ Simpson as _ **Othello** _. We, uh, couldn’t find anybody willing to play Desdemona. But we got about 10000 people who wanted to audition for Iago! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/40 "2015-08-04T17:26:08Z")
Ryan and Tatum O’Neal in KING LEAR. Henry IV starring Dustin “Screech” Diamond as Prince Hal and Rip Taylor as Falstaff, set in a Michigan truckstop. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912.md?page=3)