# Adapt a Shakespearean play for the screen in the worst possible way. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2015, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912 "2015-08-03T19:19:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/41 "2015-08-04T17:28:11Z")
Romeo and Juliet with Transformers and Decepticons as the Capulets and Montagues. Romeo and Juliet starring the Thundercats. (It totally works: Tybalt was a nickname for a cat.) Lion-O: “Capulets, ho!” Cheetara as Juliet, and Mumm-ra as Romeo. Pauly Shore _is_ Hamlet! ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/42 "2015-08-04T18:52:29Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > _King Lear_ with a reverse gender cast starring Judy Dench as Queen Lear and David Tennant, Matt Smith, and Eddie Redmayne as her sons, set in Victorian garb. I would pay to see this. > [@CalMeacham](#): > > **Macbeth** , starring > Kermit the Frog as Macbeth, > Fozzie Bear as Banquo > Miss Piggy as Lady Macbeth > Rizzo the Rat as the Porter > with Dr. Teeth and Electric Mayhem as The Witches I would pay to see this > [@bump](#): > > “Julius Caesar” with Squidward as Caesar, Spongebob as Brutus, Patrick as Antony, Mr. Krabbs as Cassius and Plankton as Casca. I would pay to see this. > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Okay. It would be wrong of me to have Orson Scott Card savagely beaten by a Helena Bonham Carter model slapbot for writing that book. I would… um, what exactly does one have to do in order to get a Helena Bonham Carter model bot show up? Uh, asking for a friend. > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Dude, it’s a SLAPBOT, not a comfortbot. Its only function is to beat people up while singing in Italian. DUDE, it’s _Helena Bonham Carter_. Slapping me, I uh, mean, my friend. The Italian is just an extra bonus, there, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/43 "2015-08-04T20:01:01Z")
For you consideration, I submit Adam Sandler as Richard III. > [@CalMeacham](#): > > **Macbeth** , starring > > Kermit the Frog as Macbeth, > Fozzie Bear as Banquo > Miss Piggy as Lady Macbeth > Rizzo the Rat as the Porter > > and > > Sam the Eagle as MacDuff > with Dr. Teeth and Electric Mayhem as The Witches > > Macbeth: Mmmmm. So Foul and Fair a Day I have not seen, Fozzie. > > Banquo: What do you mean, Kermit? Is it foul or is it fair? I can see how it might be… > > Macbeth: Never mind, Fozzie. Dude, one of us is seriously confused about the word “worst”. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/44 "2015-08-04T22:10:25Z")
_Antony and Cleopatra_ Directed by Lana and Andy Wachowski Screenplay by Lana and Andy Wachowski Starring Mike Birbiglia as Antony and Kim Kardashian as Cleopatra, Steve Carell and Nick Offerman as Octavius and Lepidus, and with special guest Jonah Hill as Sextus Pompey. In this edgy and forward-thinking adaptation set in present-day Newark, NJ, Cleopatra is saved from the asp at the last second after the surprising but inevitable arrival of Antony, who wasn’t quite dead after all. They flee Newark and set up an organic farm just outside Portland, OR, where they live happily ever after, or so it seems, until the last reveal shows it was all the a dream of a Japanese hooker (also played by Kim Kardashian) lying in a seedy warehouse in Tokyo. She awakens to see the sunrise over the harbor, then plugs herself into the complex, futuristic computer machinery nearby. Is she woman … or robot?! Credits roll, with a teaser for the Wachowski’s upcoming feature that re-envisions _Much Ado About Nothing_ as a dystopian, ruined Earth horror. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/45 "2015-08-04T23:34:20Z")
> [@j666](#): > > (Though, actually, I don’t see Kermit as Macbeth …) “Our special guest tonight is King Duncan of Scotland!” [flails arms around in the air] “YAAAAAAAAY!” ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/46 "2015-08-04T23:37:55Z")
We all love the idea of a Muppet Show _Macbeth_! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/47 "2015-08-04T23:52:12Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > Oops, I just heard from her agent that Sandra Bullock is not available, so we’ve hired Aubrey Plaza to play Ophelia. Now you’re talking! As long as she’s her semi-nasty persona from “Parks & Recreation”! All-black _Hamlet_, where the kingdom of Denmark is a tenement crack house. No idea on casting. Have at it! ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/48 "2015-08-05T02:02:24Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > One of these actually happened. Do you know which? > > _Romeo & Juliet_ starring Scott Baio and Erin Moran of Joanie Loves Chachi fame as a dinner theater tour ca. 1983 > > _Othello_ set aboard a space station in which the title character was a black android played by Djimon Hounsou and Iago a catlike alien played by Peter Dinklage > > \*Merry Wives of Windsor \*set in the Old West and starring a Randy Quaid as Falstaff, meant to open on Broadway but closed in out-of-town tryouts when several members of the cast got a restraining order against Randy and his wife. > > _King Lear_ with a reverse gender cast starring Judy Dench as Queen Lear and David Tennant, Matt Smith, and Eddie Redmayne as her sons, set in Victorian garb. One of these sounded very credible to me. I think I guessed right. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/49 "2015-08-05T02:13:18Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Now you’re talking! As long as she’s her semi-nasty persona from “Parks & Recreation”! > > All-black _Hamlet_, where the kingdom of Denmark is a tenement crack house. No idea on casting. Have at it! Hamlet: Titus Burgess Ophelia: Uzo Aduba (in a “Crazy Eyes” persona) Ghost of Hamlet’s Father: Samuel L. Jackson Claudius: Bill Cosby Gertrude: Whoopi Goldberg Polonius: Eddie Murphy Horatio: Ice Cube Laertes: Trevor Noah Rosencrantz: Chris Rock Guildenstern: Jamie Foxx Player King: Omar Epps ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/50 "2015-08-05T02:16:40Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > We all love the idea of a Muppet Show _Macbeth_! Will Statler and Waldorf heckle from their box seats? ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/51 "2015-08-05T02:17:21Z")
_The Comedy of Errors_, played as a serious, po-faced work. With sombre music. Everybody’s hair is some kind of rigid plastic appliance for no real reason. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/52 "2015-08-05T02:54:23Z")
_Titus Andronicus_ as performed by the casts of Jersey Shore and The Real Housewives of New York City. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/53 "2015-08-05T03:50:44Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > Hamlet: Titus Burgess > Ophelia: Uzo Aduba (in a “Crazy Eyes” persona) > Ghost of Hamlet’s Father: Samuel L. Jackson > Claudius: Bill Cosby > Gertrude: Whoopi Goldberg > Polonius: Eddie Murphy > Horatio: Ice Cube > Laertes: Trevor Noah > Rosencrantz: Chris Rock > Guildenstern: Jamie Foxx > Player King: Omar Epps **Knorf** , I am beyond impressed. That sounds like a stellar cast. But sadly, with a cast that good, the idea becomes rather plausible and I violated the OP. I wanna see this. Plus, it sounds like it could be a musical and even though I hate musicals, this is giving me a thrill. GOOD WORK! And I’m sorry. :o ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/54 "2015-08-05T03:53:51Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > Will Statler and Waldorf heckle from their box seats? It’s **CalMeacham** ’s production… But I would sure hope so! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/55 "2015-08-05T04:01:38Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > It’s **CalMeacham** ’s production… > > But I would sure hope so! NO, no, no, Statler and Waldorf have to do the Derek Jacobi/Chorus/Narrator part in “Henry V”. WHO CARES about the rest of the cast? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/56 "2015-08-05T04:19:21Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > _Titus Andronicus_ as performed by the casts of Jersey Shore and The Real Housewives of New York City. I’d pay to see that. It would be a vast improvement over all three of the originals. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/57 "2015-08-05T06:33:29Z")
> [@adhemar](#): > > Taming of the Shrew set in 1920’s Memphis played by a troup of wandering players caught in a storm. > > Excerpts from Taming of the Shrew where the fight scene between Kate and Petruchio was a wrestling match. > > So really how absurd can this go? apparently setting the plays in Medival Europe is unheard of. Really just Taming of the Shrew in general. It is a bad idea to try and adapt Taming of the Shrew. Except maybe 10 Things I Hate About You which is probably the only adaptation of it that escapes being a kind of creepy mess. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/58 "2015-08-05T07:00:09Z")
**Taming of the _Shroom._** ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/59 "2015-08-05T09:28:31Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > _Antony and Cleopatra_ > Directed by Lana and Andy Wachowski > Screenplay by Lana and Andy Wachowski > > Starring Mike Birbiglia as Antony and Kim Kardashian as Cleopatra, Steve Carell and Nick Offerman as Octavius and Lepidus, and with special guest Jonah Hill as Sextus Pompey. > > In this edgy and forward-thinking adaptation set in present-day Newark, NJ, Cleopatra is saved from the asp at the last second after the surprising but inevitable arrival of Antony, who wasn’t quite dead after all. They flee Newark and set up an organic farm just outside Portland, OR, where they live happily ever after, or so it seems, until the last reveal shows it was all the a dream of a Japanese hooker (also played by Kim Kardashian) lying in a seedy warehouse in Tokyo. She awakens to see the sunrise over the harbor, then plugs herself into the complex, futuristic computer machinery nearby. Is she woman … or robot?! Credits roll, with a teaser for the Wachowski’s upcoming feature that re-envisions _Much Ado About Nothing_ as a dystopian, ruined Earth horror. You’ve been reading William Gibson, haven’t you? > [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > “Our special guest tonight is King Duncan of Scotland!” > > [flails arms around in the air] > > “YAAAAAAAAY!” with crown slightly askew. You and Miller should finish casting and start looking for funding. We still need a Macbeth. The best part of this production is that the Woods of Dunsinane can appear on stage. > [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > All-black _Hamlet_, where the kingdom of Denmark is a tenement crack house. No idea on casting. Have at it! Ah, this is an interpretation of ‘worst’. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/60 "2015-08-05T14:53:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Sam the Eagle as MacDuff “I bear a charmed life, which must not yield to one of woman born!” “You – You get that I’m an _eagle,_ right?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912.md?page=4)