# Adapt a Shakespearean play for the screen in the worst possible way. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2015, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912 "2015-08-03T19:19:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2015, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/81 "2015-08-06T22:09:59Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > I think we need to go off the Muppet Show reservation a bit and cast Bert. Close. MACBETH: “Me dare do all that become a monster; who dares do more, is none.” LADY MACBETH: “I don’t understand. Wouldst thou have the ornament of life?” MACBETH [anguished]: “C is for COOKIE! That’s GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!” ---
**Author:** ![DiggitCamara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@DiggitCamara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiggitCamara)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2015, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/82 "2015-08-06T22:46:12Z")
If you want to get REALLY creative in your awfulness, you might re-write bits to adapt for instance Julius Caesar as an extended storyline for the WWE. The Rock as Julius Caesar, John Cena as Marc Anthony, Brutus might be the Undertaker, and so on. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2015, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/83 "2015-08-06T23:18:34Z")
I come to piledrive Caeser, not to praise him. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2015, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/84 "2015-08-06T23:20:04Z")
> [@DiggitCamara](#): > > If you want to get REALLY creative in your awfulness, you might re-write bits to adapt for instance Julius Caesar as an extended storyline for the WWE. The Rock as Julius Caesar, John Cena as Marc Anthony, Brutus might be the Undertaker, and so on. All the conspirators whip out metal folding chairs. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2015, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/85 "2015-08-06T23:21:05Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > I think we need to go off the Muppet Show reservation a bit and cast Bert. I love you unconditionally and without reservation. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/86 "2015-08-07T00:22:57Z")
Caesar shows up alive in the fifth act. It turns out that he faked his death to root out his enemies. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/87 "2015-08-07T01:57:23Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > I think we need to go off the Muppet Show reservation a bit and cast Bert. Bert and Ernie are going to be alternating between Rosencrantz & Guildenstern and Hamlet & Horatio in rep. > [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Close. > > MACBETH: “Me dare do all that become a monster; who dares do more, is none.” > LADY MACBETH: “I don’t understand. Wouldst thou have the ornament of life?” > MACBETH [anguished]: “C is for COOKIE! That’s GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!” Maybe, maybe … I was thinking of Cookie Monster for Banquo, but it could work ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/88 "2015-08-07T08:59:51Z")
Any play, any style, but starring Rob Schneider. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/89 "2015-08-07T10:11:05Z")
You guys with the Caesar have no vision. Nobody cares about dead old Romans, and our core demographic doesn’t even know who this Caesar guy is anyway. Does he mow lawns or something ? OK, OK. Gotta keep it fresh, keep it current, give it pep and pizzaz. Picture this : _Antony & Cleopatra_. The war on terror. GO. Caesar’s an old, grizzled, mean US general, possibly with an English accent. Anthony’s a fresh, square jawed young Lieutenant with principles and a dazzling smile. Cleopatra’s the leader of an insurgent cell, angry at the US but swayed by their manly virtue. Together, they Save Our Boys. Meanwhile, Pompey’s a murderous islamic madman in a beard who wants revenge on the traitor. Lepidus… who the fuck cares about Lepidus, anyway ? In the end, Antony and Cleopatra fly off into the sunset while Pompey’s compound explodes. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_wuzzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a8b319/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_wuzzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_wuzzy)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/90 "2015-08-07T11:47:41Z")
Tonight on Broadway; come see Caitlyn Jenner _as_ Lady Macbeth! ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/91 "2015-08-07T13:08:31Z")
> [@bump](#): > > “Julius Caesar” with Squidward as Caesar, Spongebob as Brutus, Patrick as Antony, Mr. Krabbs as Cassius and Plankton as Casca. I would pay $50 to watch this. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/92 "2015-08-07T13:20:59Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I come to piledrive Caeser, not to praise him. “I come not to chew bubblegum, but to kick ass.” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/93 "2015-08-07T13:59:47Z")
Slimer IS the Ghost of Hamlet’s Father. “He slimedeth me.” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/94 "2015-08-07T14:16:42Z")
(Missed the edit window) “Declarest thou in regards the Twinkie.” ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/95 "2015-08-07T16:20:39Z")
I really hope they start production on Muppets MacBeth soon… ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/96 "2015-08-07T19:09:45Z")
Russell Brand as Juliet. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2015, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/97 "2015-08-08T00:36:59Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > . > Caesar’s an old, grizzled, mean US general, possibly with an English accent. _Why_ would a US general have an English accent again? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2015, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912/98 "2015-08-08T00:56:38Z")
> [@j666](#): > > _Why_ would a US general have an English accent again? Because it’s a _bad_ adaptation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adapt-a-shakespearean-play-for-the-screen-in-the-worst-possible-way/726912.md?page=4)