# ADD Dopers - what do you hate about ADD? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 8, 2011, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668 "2011-02-08T17:41:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/21 "2011-02-10T14:32:06Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > … You may tell me to keep working, and I may try my hardest to do so, but I’ll be staring at a light fixture trying to figure out if the bulb filament is aligned N/S or E/W within 10 minutes. Joke I adapted a couple of years back. How many people with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? One to change the buuuuu ooh, shiny! It’s funny because I almost do that. ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/22 "2011-02-10T15:06:25Z")
I’ve been diagnosed (several times) with and am currently being treated for ADHD, although I am not the slightest bit hyperactive. As for what I most hate about it … well, I dislike struggling to keep my mind focused on one task at a time; I very often find myself having read full paragraphs without any comprehension whatsoever, because my mind had wandered somewhere else. Other things I dislike which may be related to my mind forever wandering: I have no sense of direction; I couldn’t tell someone how to get from here (school) to my home just a few miles away. I’m very forgetful, unable to remember names or faces; birthdays of family members; phone numbers. This kind of stuff must be at least partially due to where-I’m-goings and introductions never having my full attention. Anyway. I really came in as a response to this … > [@enigmatic](#): > > Is anyone else here with ADD reluctant to learn to drive?, the prospect of doing this has always worried me, basically because I worry about doing so given my difficulty in sustaining attention on a task. When I mentioned it to the psychiatrist she indicated that it was a very common fear associated with the condition. Kinda coincidental. At 29 I am, just now, reluctantly, for the first time seriously, making the attempt to learn to drive. But I wouldn’t have connected this with ADHD, I’m just dreadfully afraid of it. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/23 "2011-02-10T15:16:26Z")
> [@Noelq](#): > > The ability to do a simple, easy task. > > Normal Person: > > 1. Watch TV. Eat popsicle. > 2. On commercial, toss stick in garbage. > 3. Go back to watching TV. > > ADD: > > 1. Eat popsicle. > 2. Determine stick needs to be thrown away. > 3. Determine I’ll be getting up. > 4. If I’m getting up, I guess I’d better also throw away those newspapers with the popsicle stick. > 5. If I’m throwing away the newspapers, I’d better put the cans and stuff in the recycling. > 6. If I’m going to put stuff in the recycling, maybe I’ll drink that last coke, and put the can in the recycling, then take it out. > 7. If I’m getting a coke, I’ll need the clean glasses in the dishwasher, so I’d better empty it. > 8. If I empty the dishwasher, I’ll have my mixing bowl back, so I can make pancakes for dinner tonight. > 9. If I have pancakes tonight, I can mix the butter and syrup in the microwave. > 10. I’ll have to clean the microwave. > > So, I get up, still holding the popsicle stick, to clean the microwave, and the commercials end and the program comes back on. So I flop back on the couch, still holding the popsicle stick. All of a sudden “If You Give A Moose A Muffin” isn’t humorous anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/24 "2011-02-10T15:46:25Z")
> [@enigmatic](#): > > The thing that I really hate though, is the never ever being proud of anything that you do, because you always _always_ know you could have done better. That’s not ADD, that’s perfectionism: different condition. Repeat after me: “perfect hates good. I need good: I do not need perfect.” ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/25 "2011-02-10T16:02:59Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > That’s not ADD, that’s perfectionism: different condition. Repeat after me: “perfect hates good. I need good: I do not need perfect.” Yes. Perfectionism is often comorbid with ADHD, but I’ve seen highly distracted individuals who couldn’t give a flip about quality of work – and the most _utterly perfectionist_ people I’ve met haven’t fit the ADHD profile at all. Still, I empathize – high distractibility can make it difficult to approach “good”, let alone “perfect” – a source of guilty feeling to which I too am subject. The perfect is the enemy of the good; but sometimes good can be the enemy of perfectly acceptable; and perfectly acceptable can be the enemy of meeting a deadline at all. Best not fight it. ---
**Author:** ![enigmatic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@enigmatic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigmatic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/26 "2011-02-10T16:30:21Z")
There’s nothing wrong with “good”, it’s harder to be happier when all you can ever do is “good enough” When did this turn into a fortune cookie competition? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Noelq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noelq/32/16438_2.png) [@Noelq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noelq)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/27 "2011-02-10T17:34:50Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > tldr tld Squirrel! ---
**Author:** ![Noelq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noelq/32/16438_2.png) [@Noelq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noelq)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/28 "2011-02-10T17:37:32Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > All of a sudden “If You Give A Moose A Muffin” isn’t humorous anymore. Do I get bonus points for killing your childhood favorites? 😃 But yeah, its kinda like that. I never saw the humor in the Give A Mouse A Cookie book when I read it to my nieces and nephew, because, you know… that’s just how life IS. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/29 "2011-02-10T18:02:18Z")
On the upside, I frequently use _If you give a mouse a cookie_ as an example when I’m trying to explain to people how my brain works. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/30 "2011-02-10T22:16:02Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Having a problem with deadlines isn’t a universal symptom. As I mentioned in the last thread, I don’t have problems with \*other people’s \*deadlines. Not at work, and I never did at school either. In fact, a lot of people with ADD find it easier to manage jobs with hard deadlines rather than open-ended ones where things are due “whenever” or “as soon as possible,” because having a concrete goal helps us to focus, whereas no deadlines makes us panicky about figuring out what to do when because we suck at it. The fewer people affected by a deadline, the harder it is for me to get to work and the more stress it causes me. If I’m to present at a large gathering or a project needs to ship, brother, I get it done. If it’s for a meeting of 3 other people, I may negotiate - depends on how difficult the assignment is and how much use we’re likely to make of it. If it’s one professor, it depends on what I think of hi/r and hi/r policies, but I very often negotiate, and I don’t pull any punches. ASAP is worst. I better know you _NEED_ it. Ideally by 5 o’clock. Otherwise it’s likely to get shuffled off until I feel guilty just thinking about it, and then, Og help us both. I’ve gone through a lot of bad blood with a lot of people simply because of varying interpretations of ASAP. Yes, I have many problems beyond ADD. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/31 "2011-02-10T22:42:33Z")
> [@enigmatic](#): > > Same here, deadlines make things a lot easier, especially when you know that they are actually real deadlines. My work got so much better at Uni, just because they had a firm “if it’s not in on time it doesn’t get marked” policy. > > That’s another thing thing to hate, you can work in a high pressure, high stress environment fairly effectively, or you can work in a low stress environment and stress about the work you aren’t doing. The stress isn’t really optional. > > On the hyperactive, restless side, I’ve always noticed that it always tends to manifest when external factors are forcing you to do something that your brain “isn’t ready” to do, like sitting in a classroom. I think the reason that it doesn’t get seen as much in adulthood, is that adults generally have more freedom to avoid those situation (see also - wanting to murder people in queues) > > Is anyone else here with ADD reluctant to learn to drive?, the prospect of doing this has always worried me, basically because I worry about doing so given my difficulty in sustaining attention on a task. When I mentioned it to the psychiatrist she indicated that it was a very common fear associated with the condition. Yes, I am 25 and haven’t ever attempted to learn. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/32 "2011-02-10T23:05:50Z")
> [@enigmatic](#): > > On the hyperactive, restless side, I’ve always noticed that it always tends to manifest when external factors are forcing you to do something that your brain “isn’t ready” to do, like sitting in a classroom. I think the reason that it doesn’t get seen as much in adulthood, is that adults generally have more freedom to avoid those situation (see also - wanting to murder people in queues). Yep, I’m hyper too. It’s nice that I can sort of sit still as an adult (figit, figit) but the restlessness isn’t something I’ve outgrown either. On my days off, it would be best if I took advantage of the time to write since I’m working on a pair of novels and lots of short stories (you aren’t surprised that I can no more write a story at a time than read a book straight through before picking up another, right?). But I can’t if I’m made too anxious/restless/distracted by other things that need to be done, and I can’t be ready until…whatever. I have a mantra running through my head a lot of times, it’s “and then I can write.” It goes like this: If I do laundry then I can write but first If I shovel the driveway then I can write but first if I force myself to go to the bank/laundrymat/get my oil changed (places I have difficulty with due to the sitting/standing around) then I can write… and if I actually am able to settle down, I can be ready to write. It’s a miracle that I have 4 nanowrimo wins under my belt considering how hard it is to get ready to write something. A lot of the time writing gets done at 2:30 in the morning, even if it means getting out of bed, because I finally have run out of things I need to do first! > [@](#): > > Is anyone else here with ADD reluctant to learn to drive?, the prospect of doing this has always worried me, basically because I worry about doing so given my difficulty in sustaining attention on a task. When I mentioned it to the psychiatrist she indicated that it was a very common fear associated with the condition. My parents forced me to get mine when I was 16.5. I was in no hurry to get it, but they thought it’d be nice to be able to send me to the grocery store or to pick up my brother from his activities. Left to my own devices, I probably wouldn’t have gotten it until much later. If it makes you feel any better, in 16 years of driving, I only did one bad thing (which lost me the trim off a rear door when I got too close to one of those stupid poles with reflectors on them) due to inattentiveness and that was within the first 18 months of driving. ---
**Author:** ![AshenLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@AshenLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AshenLady)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/33 "2011-02-10T23:17:54Z")
I hate not being able to deal with details. I am just not detail oriented. I can get the global gist of things very easily, but the very minute details of whatever and just about everything, makes it very hard for me to be as meticulous as I should be. That along with being creative, makes it even more difficult to be very exacting, in any given venue. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/34 "2011-02-10T23:23:58Z")
About driving: I was sent away to board for high school. My dad tried to give me some basic driving lessons during the summers which consisted mostly of YELLING. After that I lost interest, as did he. I finally did drived ed and got licensed before starting college. It’s no fun being the oldest one in driver ed in a town where not getting your license at 16 usually means you’re some sort of mental defective - which, looking back on it, I was. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/35 "2011-02-10T23:25:09Z")
Oh, driving. It’s on my list, I’m fearful but I’ve become more confident that I’ll be proficient. At least I’ll take it more seriously than many people I know. And I doubt I’ll ever own a car or use one much. My biggest problem is that I can’t control my hyperfocus worth a damn. I obsessively consume books, the internet, and computer games while my life passes me by. ☹ I’ve gotten a ton better at almost everything else with time and effort, but I can’t beat this one. I’ve been a waitress off and on since 2004 and it’s improved my memory, auditory skills (before I couldn’t remember a word anyone ever said to me), attentiveness, organization, and ability to put tasks in their proper order. I need to get redignosed and try meds again. Anyone have the same out-of-control computer/reading addiction? How does Adderall, etc help with that? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/36 "2011-02-10T23:26:38Z")
I also hate how I forget stuff. I hear people talking about “having a senior moment” or something, describing how they went into a room and suddenly couldn’t remember what they came into the room to get or do. They moan about how hard it is getting old and forgetful and how this is the SECOND TIME THIS WEEK that this has happened to them. Well, Every. Living. Day. is like that for me. Second time this week? Try “second time in 10 minutes” (2 for 2)!. It’s actually pretty rare for me to retain a thought all the way (6 steps) down the hall, and it’s ALWAYS been that way for me, ever since I was a tiny child. And now I am getting old. It’s going to get worse. Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![AshenLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@AshenLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AshenLady)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/37 "2011-02-10T23:27:21Z")
Also, I am left handed and clumsy because of that. I have to be careful with knives. I have been taken to the ER twice with cuts to my right hand. Hands are well vascularized and bleed profusely. One time, I had to get to the ER during a snowstorm. There was blood all over the kitchen. Luckily my husband got me there in time. As the doctor there said, “you are bleeding profusely”. Yes, that’s why I am here, sir. The cops were there that night and noticed my right hand was bleeding, so the didn’t question me about it. We got home okay, too. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/38 "2011-02-10T23:29:31Z")
> [@Dr.Woo](#): > > I also hate how I forget stuff. I hear people talking about “having a senior moment” or something, describing how they went into a room and suddenly couldn’t remember what they came into the room to get or do. They moan about how hard it is getting old and forgetful and how this is the SECOND TIME THIS WEEK that this has happened to them. > > Well, Every. Living. Day. is like that for me. Second time this week? Try “second time in 10 minutes” (2 for 2)!. It’s actually pretty rare for me to retain a thought all the way (6 steps) down the hall, and it’s ALWAYS been that way for me, ever since I was a tiny child. > > And now I am getting old. It’s going to get worse. Fuck. I knoooow. I have the same depressing thought cycle whenever anyone over 30 complains about their memory or attentiveness. ---
**Author:** ![AshenLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@AshenLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AshenLady)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/39 "2011-02-10T23:29:50Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > Oh, driving. It’s on my list, I’m fearful but I’ve become more confident that I’ll be proficient. At least I’ll take it more seriously than many people I know. And I doubt I’ll ever own a car or use one much. > > My biggest problem is that I can’t control my hyperfocus worth a damn. I obsessively consume books, the internet, and computer games while my life passes me by. ☹ I’ve gotten a ton better at almost everything else with time and effort, but I can’t beat this one. > > I’ve been a waitress off and on since 2004 and it’s improved my memory, auditory skills (before I couldn’t remember a word anyone ever said to me), attentiveness, organization, and ability to put tasks in their proper order. > > I need to get redignosed and try meds again. Anyone have the same out-of-control computer/reading addiction? How does Adderall, etc help with that? I’ve never taken Adderall or Vyvanse or Focalin. I’ve always taken methylphenidate SR. I just use generic stuff. It does the trick. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668/40 "2011-02-10T23:56:12Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I also have a really difficult time paying attention, especially when people are talking. It’s not on purpose. My boss will be explaining something to me and it will trigger some completely random line of thought and then it will dawn on me she’s still talking and I have to fake like I’ve been listening. I’ve never gotten caught doing this (except by my husband) but I do it all the time. I do the same thing with television… about 10 minutes into a show I’ll have to ask my husband what the hell is going on because I started thinking about something else and forgot I was watching TV. This is me to the letter. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/add-dopers-what-do-you-hate-about-add/570668.md?page=3)