# Adding a "Pronouns" custom user field? Good idea, or the worst idea? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [October 10, 2022, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025 "2022-10-10T18:00:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/61 "2022-10-11T14:06:58Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > “I have listed my pronouns as ‘beep/boop/bleep’. You can’t prove they’re not my pronouns, and I demand everyone use them, and I am definitely not making a performative point.” The correct, obvious adjudication of that would be “this is bullshit, knock it off, and quit asking unless you want to catch a ban.” But based on past observation, I think the mod team would really struggle to cut through the bullshit. Based on past observation, if it’s going to work like the location field by showing only if one clicks on the username, most people won’t think to do that and won’t know the pronouns are there. And again, just like the location field, you can do it right now. You don’t need a separate field; just put your pronouns at the top of the “about” field. ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/62 "2022-10-11T16:24:37Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > And again, just like the location field, you can do it right now. You don’t need a separate field; just put your pronouns at the top of the “about” field. I agree with thorny\_locust. There isn’t a problem here that needs to be solved programmatically. You can add your preferred pronouns to the top of your “about” field in your profile, and anyone can see them who wants to see them. If someone chooses not to look there, that’s their choice. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/63 "2022-10-11T16:27:04Z")
Yeah, we already have a place where you can put pronouns. I guess what we don’t have is a question when you register that asks if you want to. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/64 "2022-10-11T16:35:06Z")
The point, I think, is that Discourse has the built-in option to add designated fields to the profiles, and the question is whether it would be a good idea to designate one for pronouns. That there’s a generic workaround for that is really beside the point. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/65 "2022-10-11T17:46:00Z")
Nonsense. If we will be required to check a posters profile every time we want to reply - that is ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/66 "2022-10-11T17:55:22Z")
My opinion: adding an optional preferred-pronouns field would be useful if and only if that could be displayed on every post along with the username. It would be less than useful if it were displayed just in the profile, because it would create an expectation (on the part of the user in question) of compliance with a preference that other posters usually are not aware of. ---
**Author:** ![echoreply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/echoreply/32/3641_2.png) [@echoreply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/echoreply)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/67 "2022-10-11T17:55:53Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > If we will be required to check a posters profile every time we want to reply - that is ridiculous Not every time you want to reply, just when you want to refer to the poster with a pronoun. And all you have to do is click on their avatar picture, and a card will popup with all of the information. You can even do it while the reply box is open. For example, your public profile is hidden, and the one for the post above you has pronouns in it. And you won’t need to check every time. If it’s a poster you frequently reply to, you’ll learn the pronouns. If it’s a poster you infrequently reply to, then a quick click, and the question is solved. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/68 "2022-10-11T17:58:21Z")
We already have the “Name” field where most users simply repeat their username. That seems like the obvious place to put preferred pronouns. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/69 "2022-10-11T18:01:36Z")
What you have in your Name field is too long to be readable. Clicking your avatar reveals “Pronouns: He/Him/They/Them/Wha…”. Clicking through to your user profile reveals “Pronouns: He/Him/They/Them/Whatever/I don’t care what peo…”. I’m not sure how to read the whole thing. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/70 "2022-10-11T18:02:33Z")
It was just a length test. At least I stopped before adding 1234567890. Thanks for showing what displayed on your device. Looks like about 50 characters, total, will display. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/71 "2022-10-11T18:03:09Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Nonsense. > > If we will be required to check a posters profile every time we want to reply - that is ridiculous. I haven’t seen anyone here propose that rule, or really any new rule. It’s just a box where people can advertise what they prefer to be called. The rule on misgendering would be the same as it currently exists… people make mistakes, but once you know better, then you’re expected to do better. And it should be permissible for people to use “they” if they’re confused, or just want to pretend to be confused. ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/72 "2022-10-11T18:11:05Z")
> [@echoreply](#): > > Not every time you want to reply, just when you want to refer to the poster with a pronoun. And all you have to do is click on their avatar picture, and a card will popup with all of the information. You can even do it while the reply box is open. For example, your public profile is hidden, and the one for the post above you has pronouns in it. One challenge with this is that people don’t always have the profile link handy when they are referring to someone. For example, in thread where someone is asking how to fix a car, I might say “I remember Soandso had that same car and **they** said the part was pretty easy to find at a junkyard.” I’m not going to take the time to manually look up Soandso’s profile to find out what their preferred pronoun is. Even if there’s a way to do it that takes 1 second, I’m not going to do it. I just want to provide some info. If I have to do a lot of work and pronoun verification, I just won’t reply. It’s not worth a bunch of work just to make a post like that. ---
**Author:** ![echoreply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/echoreply/32/3641_2.png) [@echoreply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/echoreply)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/73 "2022-10-11T18:23:30Z")
Playing with the profile is fun. I’ve linked my pronouns to their definitions, in case anybody needs an explainer on what the pronouns mean. “He/him” aren’t going to need to be explained to anybody fluent enough in English to post here, this is just a demonstration of what can be done. > [@filmore](#): > > I’m not going to take the time to manually look up Soandso’s profile to find out what their preferred pronoun is Then just stick with “they”, as things currently are. The instance that prompted me to start all of this (plus the coincidence of encountering the extra user field) was an exchange like: > > someuser: > > > > What I think @someotheruser meant when he was talking about ketchup on hot dogs is that it’s ok if you’re under 6. > > someotheruser: > > Don’t put words in my mouth, all children should be punished for ketchup on hot dogs, and I’m a **she** not a **he**. Not even a non-binary or neopronoun kind of question. Simply one poster not knowing the other’s gender, so defaulting to “he”. Many posters in that case would have defaulted to “they”. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/74 "2022-10-11T18:25:52Z")
I don’t think you’d have to do anything differently. It’s just that you could look up the correct pronoun if you wanted to. The way I’m envisioning it, adding a “pronouns” field (and making it voluntary or optional) wouldn’t change very much at all, and not in a way that makes things harder for anybody. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/75 "2022-10-11T18:30:19Z")
In my experience, having the pronoun field doesn’t change much of anything for the users. It’s just a reference. But on the other hand, having the pronoun field shows that the forum is trans-friendly. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/76 "2022-10-11T18:36:29Z")
Here’s why I care about my pronouns. For some reason I get mistaken as female on anonymous message boards. I don’t know why, and it doesn’t bother me, I’m actually flattered. But what I worry about is getting into a discussion where a person’s gender may matter, let’s say women’s rights. If I give an opinion, and someone assumes the wrong gender about me, then they might hold me up as an example of what a woman’s opinion is. I don’t want to give that false impression. I also don’t want someone to assume I’m a woman, and later if I clarify that I’m a man, they get angry that I never clarified and misrepresented myself somehow (even though I have never and would never falsely claim to be female). I’d rather avoid that drama and confusion ahead of time. Because as much as we’d like for things like race, gender, age, ethnicity, religion, citizenship, sexuality, and so on to not matter, they often do on these boards. Otherwise we wouldn’t have long threads about diversity and representation in ATMB. Unfortunately they matter. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2022, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/77 "2022-10-11T18:42:49Z")
Really, the only way around that is to be up-front when posting to such subjects. I’m a man, but my opinion is… You’ll probably still be innocently misgendered, but if you state it outright at least once in the thread, hopefully somebody will correct them. ETA: On another board where I use a different username, I get called she almost 50% of the time. That’s followed by they, then by he. I’ve even collected ze a couple of times. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2022, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/78 "2022-10-12T01:10:24Z")
> [@dolphinboy](#): > > I agree with thorny\_locust. Not quite. I agree that we have a more-or-less functional way to do so; and Discourse may not allow us to do it any better. But I’d like the pronoun and location fields to both automatically show at the top of the post; because my experience with the location fields as that, as it now stands, most people seem unaware that they exist and unaware how to check them. Filling them in should still be optional; and it should continue to be an option to fill them in vaguely enough to protect privacy. ---
**Author:** ![echoreply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/echoreply/32/3641_2.png) [@echoreply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/echoreply)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2022, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/79 "2022-10-12T02:07:21Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > I’d like the pronoun and location fields to both automatically show at the top of the post; The native discourse way is to have those in the user card, and appear when a user’s avatar is clicked on. I agree it would be nice to have those in the header of posts, but it would take a custom plug-in on or theme to add them. It’s a common feature of other message board software, so I’m surprised there isn’t an existing plug-in. There is a plug-in for signature lines, but I’m opposed to that, because arbitrarily large flashing gifs at the bottom of posts looks really bad. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2022, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/80 "2022-10-12T07:57:56Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > It can’t be very hard. One of my other discourse sites had a gender field. And you can just leave it blank. No one needs to display their gender if they prefer not to. Yes, this > [@dolphinboy](#): > > You can say that, but someone may feel pressured to display their gender if everyone else is What are we, 6? And “curmudgeonly” and “stubborn” seem to be requirements to sign up here (said the stubborn curmudgeon). > [@echoreply](#): > > I’m very unsure of is if it’s helpful. I currently have it in my profile, but a dedicated field would be highly preferable. > [@TriPolar](#): > > It’s too soon to experiment with this. Funny, lots of other sites and apps are already doing this (as well as employers). We’re, if anything, way behind the curve. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025.md?page=5)