# Addressing one's aunt or uncle. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 12, 2015, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984 "2015-07-12T22:49:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BaldDudePeekskill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@BaldDudePeekskill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaldDudePeekskill)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2015, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/1 "2015-07-12T22:49:55Z")
I was raised that we always, always addressed our aunts and uncles by Aunt X, Uncle Y, and NEVER ever called them by the first names, alone. This rule applied equally to non-related aunts or uncles… Lately, I’ve been hearing people on television calling their aunts or uncles solely by their given name and not prefacing it with the appropriate title. How do fellow dopers do this? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2015, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/2 "2015-07-12T22:54:12Z")
The same way you do and so does everyone I know. I wouldn’t think about calling mine by their first name alone. That seems more than a little crass. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2015, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/3 "2015-07-12T22:55:30Z")
I always used Uncle First Name or Aunt First Name. With my brothers kids, they have always gone back and forth between Uncle My First Name and Uncle Nickname. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2015, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/4 "2015-07-12T23:01:25Z")
All my cousins in the South (dozens and dozens), call all the Aunts and Uncles by their first name only. For some reason, whenever we came down from the North and called them all Aunt X and Uncle Y,–our usual usage–we got a lot more attention than the locals. Go figure. **kopek** , thanks for the (inadvertent) chuckle: “Hi, Uncle Nickname! What’d ya bring us?” ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2015, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/5 "2015-07-12T23:12:35Z")
Always called Aunt or Uncle First name Also called my cousins who were of my parents generation Aunt or Uncle as well. I suppose I could have called them Cousin First name. When I was a kid all adults had a title. The only exception is my uncle who is only 3 years older. I only call him Uncle when I want to make him feel like an old man. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2015, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/6 "2015-07-12T23:14:26Z")
I don’t think I’ve used “auntie” or “uncle” since I became an adult. I call them all by their first names only now. Although I do have my uncle in my phone and email contacts as “uncle Dan”. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2015, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/7 "2015-07-12T23:40:22Z")
Aunt X and Uncle Y when growing up. Now, just first names. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/8 "2015-07-13T00:09:26Z")
I called them all Aunt or Uncle, it’s how I was raised. Other adults was Mr. or Mrs Whatever. Even when I became an adult I would hack a little if I tried to call the next door neighbors by their given names, it was easier to say Mr and Mrs. I do have one aunt remaining, I call her by her given name, as I am an adult. While I don’t dislike her I do dislike some of her attitudes, and she’s pushy about expressing them sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![BrassyPhrase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea666f/32.png) [@BrassyPhrase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrassyPhrase)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/9 "2015-07-13T00:49:30Z")
When I was a child, it was “Aunt/Uncle Soandso”. As I grew with some of my aunts/uncles growing up, it just became that I called them by their name. (I’m thinking it happened late teens/early twenties?) When I see aunts/uncles that I don’t see often, I always start with Aunt/Uncle as an honorific on greeting and then call them by their name. (I will sometimes call someone Auntie (ahnty) X or Unky Y just to be cutesy. Wow, just realized it’s only my uncle that I call that any more . That aunt is dead. \. ) My family is VERY informal. My mother insisted she be called by her first name by my friends in high school. Only one would do it and she adores him. After she asked that, everyone else just called her ‘ma’am’. Agewise, I’m 45. And grew up in Kentucky and Texas. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/10 "2015-07-13T01:05:03Z")
I waited until I was about 40 to start calling my aunts and uncles by their first names. When my nieces and nephews got married I told them just to call me by my first name. It seemed a little ridiculous once they were all starting their own families. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/11 "2015-07-13T01:07:40Z")
My aunt quite insists that I call her by her first name. Since it’s her preference, that’s what I do. But I do confess it feels wrong to me. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/12 "2015-07-13T01:21:04Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > Also called my cousins who were of my parents generation Aunt or Uncle as well. I suppose I could have called them Cousin First name. > When I was a kid all adults had a title. Same here. I was raised in the South and titles were enforced. It was never first names for adults. At the very least, we defaulted to Mr., Mrs. or Miss. We also called much older cousins Aunt and Uncle as well even if they technically weren’t. We never called anyone Cousin x directly to them although it was used sometimes as a reference point when talking to others. There were also honorary aunts and uncles. Those are older people that have a long and close relationship with your family but aren’t technically related to you. You address those people as Aunt and Uncle x as well. It sounds complicated from the outside but, like all social rules that people grow up with, it isn’t. It is very intuitive once you have a good feel for the general idea. ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/13 "2015-07-13T01:25:26Z")
All my aunts and uncles are dead. But I did not call them by their first names when they were alive . We were only call our friends by their first never any adult . That was a No, No ! ---
**Author:** ![ASGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@ASGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/14 "2015-07-13T01:34:38Z")
When my two sisters started having kids I told them I preferred to be identified as Uncle X. They and their spouses accepted that and I have evermore been called Uncle X by the kids. Not by the adults, mind you, just the kids. The parents call me by my first name, but occasionally lapse to Uncle when the kids are around. But to the kids, I am indelibly Uncle X. My brother preferred to be identified by his first name. Indeed, he insisted. The kids would occasionally call him Uncle Y, and my brother would say “No, just Y.” As the kids grew older the mistakes declined to zero. My niece and nephews are all now in their mid to late 20s and they invariably call me Uncle X. I like it. A mild signal of respect and the acknowledgement that I am older than they are. Instructing my sisters that I wanted to be identified with “Uncle” in front of the kids was one of my better long term moves, and I am happy I did it. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/15 "2015-07-13T01:38:48Z")
Many of you have answered “It was unthinkable to address an adult . . .” Eell, yes, but what about now? It was “uncle” and “aunt” growing up, but now that I am grown, it’s pretty much just first names. ---
**Author:** ![Tzigone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Tzigone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzigone)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/16 "2015-07-13T01:43:47Z")
I used “Aunt X” and “Uncle Y” for my aunts and uncles (great aunts/uncles a few adult first-cousins-once-removed), but I started calling them by first-name-only at some point. It was at some point during high school, I think. I will say it was mostly when referring to them, rather than addressing them, but that’s more because I don’t usually use someone’s name when addressing them and because I saw them less frequently as I got older. Am in US, a southerner. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/17 "2015-07-13T02:17:18Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > Many of you have answered “It was unthinkable to address an adult . . .” Eell, yes, but what about now? It was “uncle” and “aunt” growing up, but now that I am grown, it’s pretty much just first names. Doesn’t matter how old I am, I would be very uncomfortable calling any of them by their first name. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/18 "2015-07-13T02:45:42Z")
I’ve never called any of my aunts and uncles by anything other than their first name. They grew up calling their aunts and uncles by the title and all felt it sounded “old”; they all chose to go by their first names with us. Now that my generation has their own children we are all Auntie or Uncle to our nieces and nephews, and also to our closest family friends. My children have Auntie Maree\*, who is my old school friend; Uncle Roger\*, who is my brother (their uncle); Pearlie\*, who is my aunt (their great aunt); and Auntie Emily\*, who is my great aunt (their great-great aunt). Not sure if it’s because they’re boomers but the aversion to titles that sound “old” has extended so far that one of my uncles wanted his grandchildren to call him by his first name. That was rapidly shot down by his family. It’s weird because he’s not especially young - 60 when he became a first-time grandfather - and he’s not concerned about appearing younger than his age, but it gets right under his skin to be called Uncle Darren\*. - Names changed. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/19 "2015-07-13T03:07:06Z")
I’ve always used Aunt and Uncle; if there is only one around, the firstname gets dropped. One of my in-jokes with my nephews is that sometimes I mirror their address: “Aunt Nava…” “Tell me, Nephew Mark.” My Aunt Maite at one point decided she wanted us to stop calling her Aunt, since “you’re grown-ups now”. My brother Jay replied, to nods all around the table, “did you ever stop calling you uncles ‘Uncle’? I know Dad didn’t! You’re still my Aunt: _deal_.” It’s amazing how many teeth he has sometimes, must be all those agressive negotiations with banks. ---
**Author:** ![RickG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rickg/32/5174_2.png) [@RickG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickG)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984/20 "2015-07-13T03:10:42Z")
I always use Aunt/Uncle First Name, except for my father’s youngest sister. She is 21 years younger than my dad, and 15 years younger than his next youngest sibling. She was 8 when I was born. I did use ‘Aunt First Name’ with her when I was younger, but at this point, we are closer to being peers than being from different generations, so it seems silly. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-ones-aunt-or-uncle/724984.md?page=2)