# Addressing same-gender couples **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 18, 2014, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155 "2014-01-18T18:34:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2014, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155/21 "2014-01-19T18:34:50Z")
I wonder how you’d announce or address a Mr & Mrs of the same surname when they’re not married? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2014, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155/22 "2014-01-19T19:01:18Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > I wonder how you’d announce or address a Mr & Mrs of the same surname when they’re not married? Are you talking about a man and a woman who aren’t a couple? Like, for example, a woman and her son? If so, I’d just announce/address them separately. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2014, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155/23 "2014-01-19T19:07:43Z")
Miss has a plural: Misses. You may address a letter to two or more misses who share last name as The Misses Smith. IIRC, the oldest will be addressed as Miss Smith, and her sisters as Miss Ann Smith, Miss Beth Smith, etc. Mrs. is pluralized as Mesdames, as noted upthread by **alphaboi867** ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2014, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155/24 "2014-01-20T03:20:06Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > I wonder how you’d announce or address a Mr & Mrs of the same surname when they’re not married? Youtube stars Hannah Hart and Mamrie Hart (no relation), when working together, introduce themselves like that; full names individually, and “no relation” after. (Hannah is openly gay, so there’s the possibility that somebody could have heard of her and not Mamrie, and mistake Mamrie for her wife.) ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2014, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155/25 "2014-01-20T03:29:29Z")
I was too slow to throw it in as an edit, but such stilted style (“Mr. and Mrs. Lastname” really only comes up these days when you’re meeting, say, the Queen of England, and I’m sure she has a person on staff to advise in such matters. Presumably the official answer to the OP’s question is written down in a government document somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2014, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155/26 "2014-01-20T06:15:23Z")
> [@Gunslinger](#): > > I was too slow to throw it in as an edit, but such stilted style (“Mr. and Mrs. Lastname” really only comes up these days when you’re meeting, say, the Queen of England… Nitpick: Not since 1707: [Anne, Queen of Great Britain - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne,_Queen_of_Great_Britain) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2014, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155/27 "2014-01-20T07:09:58Z")
When my partner and I are able to marry, we’re going to keep our original first and last names as first and middle names, then choose a common last name (which, after all these years, we still haven’t agreed on). ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2014, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155/28 "2014-01-20T07:34:20Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > In real life, I use Ms. as my default. But if for some reason I wanted to emphasize that two women were a married couple I’d refer to them as Mrs. and Mrs. The whole point of Ms is that women shouldn’t need to be defined by their marital status, just as men arn’t. All the lesbians I know use Ms. Some couples double-barrel their names, most don’t. I wouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2014, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155/29 "2014-01-20T16:20:48Z")
I thought this thread was going to be about the question of which one to put first, for which my solution is the same as it is for opposite-sex couples: I put first whichever one I know better. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2014, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155/30 "2014-01-20T17:13:12Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I thought this thread was going to be about the question of which one to put first, for which my solution is the same as it is for opposite-sex couples: I put first whichever one I know better. There’s that, too. Besides gender, as I already pointed out, we no longer have the traditional notion that one (da meester) is the primary or senior or foremost member. Has there really not been a serious roundtable on this, involving both traditional etiquette experts and those sensitive to (but perhaps not ridiculous about) modern gender issues? ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2014, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155/31 "2014-01-20T20:08:00Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Nitpick: Not since 1707: [Anne, Queen of Great Britain - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne,_Queen_of_Great_Britain) Okay, fine, “unless you’re meeting Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland\*, and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.” Better? 😛 \*replace the bit about the UK and such as appropriate if you happen to be meeting her in one of the other 16 countries she’s queen of. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2014, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155/32 "2014-01-20T20:44:30Z")
“The Queen” or “the British Queen” would probably suffice… unless, as you say, you’re in Australia, Canada, Barbados, etc. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/addressing-same-gender-couples/679155.md?page=1)