# Adjunct To 17 Year Old Rudolph Thread: Rudy was in a no-win situation....what would you have done?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adjunct-to-17-year-old-rudolph-thread-rudy-was-in-a-no-win-situation-what-would-you-have-done/803358>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [December 2, 2017, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adjunct-to-17-year-old-rudolph-thread-rudy-was-in-a-no-win-situation-what-would-you-have-done/803358 "2017-12-02T17:33:42Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2017, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adjunct-to-17-year-old-rudolph-thread-rudy-was-in-a-no-win-situation-what-would-you-have-done/803358/41 "2017-12-07T05:07:53Z")

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> [@BigT](#):
>
> Forgiveness is great, and I very much recommend it. But I do not agree with this.
> 
> If you just forgive everyone, then there will be no consequences for the actions, and thus no reason to stop doing the bad things. Rather than love and patience helping, you’ve become an enabler.
> 
> There is a reason the Christian version of forgiveness requires repentance. The person has to express sorrow that they hurt you and a desire to not do it again. This isn’t necessary the only line, but it’s a good one for determining whether love and patience will help work. You can choose to forgive without repentance, but you need a good reason, like it making you happier or it making things better for others.
> 
> You’ve got to differentiate between those who need forgiveness and those who would take advantage of it. I mean, taking such advantage is a common tactic of abusers. It’s how they push the boundaries.
> 
> I wish life were a simple as “X is always good.” But it rarely is.

Forgiveness is not complete acceptance, though. One can forgive a person without allowing that person the opportunity to cause more harm. I have known some very sketchy people, and forgiven them, but that doesn’t mean I’d let them in my home or near my friends.  
People and reindeer are not perfect. One can acknowledge that without leaving oneself open to more harm. And who am I to judge?

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