# Admit It! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 12, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398 "2003-06-12T18:08:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/81 "2003-06-13T13:08:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astro \* > \*\*The lightbulb for the punning name below didn’t turn on until I was 40 years old. I always thought the name “Dew Drop Inn” used by numerous honkeytonks and county dive bars was just a quaint little name. > > “Dew Drop Inn” = “Do drop in” \*\* I only just got this pun too about 2-3 years ago. I’m almost 40. I usually deal with the left-right problem by pointing “thisaway.” ---
**Author:** ![haardvark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@haardvark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/haardvark)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/82 "2003-06-13T13:10:18Z")
When I was a wee 'vark I always thought that each nation had a single, designated flag, the Official flag, and that all other flags were copies of the original, Designated, Official flag. Now, this is perhaps not a particularly out to lunch idea, and one might assume that the official flag is kept in a government building or a vault or something, like the coveted standard metre bar in Paris. However, I always thought that the official flag was the **LARGEST** one. So, for example, we’d be driving down the freeway and there’d be a truck stop with a humongous flag flying over the parking lot, and I would say, “Mommy, is that **THE** flag?” and mom would say, yes, that’s a flag, or that’s the flag, or that’s our flag or whatever, and I would get very agitated: “No, no, is that **THE** flag??” I was probably in my teens before I could articulate my misunderstanding well enough to be told what a dope I was. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/83 "2003-06-13T13:10:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > \*\*Also, it was in college when I learned **Martin Luther** and **Martin Luther King** were two different people. \*\* That reminds me of a good one–I was a senior in high school when I realized that Karl Marx was NOT one of the Marx Brothers. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/84 "2003-06-13T13:16:36Z")
First, **isthatsowrong** , I’m very sorry but that was the funniest damn thing I’ve seen in ages. Second, my big one: > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Breezy_ > I have NO EARTHLY idea what an uncircumcised penis looks like. No clue. Me neither. Not even a picture. And I really don’t want to. And “pelicula” … I think I’ve seen that too. Pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/85 "2003-06-13T13:33:52Z")
I sometimes say " Thank you " to cash machines (ATM). ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/86 "2003-06-13T14:05:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zev\_steinhardt \* > **Hold out your thumb and forefinger of each hand at full extension. The one that makes an “L” is your left (L for left). That’s how I was taught and how I taught my kids.** I didn’t know that! Kids! Come here! Look what your dad just invented! ---
**Author:** ![NightRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NightRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NightRabbit)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/87 "2003-06-13T14:07:27Z")
The first time I ever answered a wake up call was the other week, in Tokyo, and I thought the bright “ohayo gozaimasu” (or however you spell it) was an actual person… so I reply sleepily and hang up. “Uhh, it’s a computer,” mumbles my half-asleep roommate. But it sounded so real! And yeah, add me to the legions that couldn’t figure out how women pee… and I am a woman! First I thought it was the clitoris and, when it became obvious that it wasn’t, I became completely confused. And, to make matters worse, when I was about 5 and got the infamous sex talk, I couldn’t figure out where the guy actually put his penis… so I just decided that the clitoris must just develop a large hole and that’s where it goes… :smack: Of course, around 12, I realized how wrong I was… ---
**Author:** ![isthatsowrong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/35a633/32.png) [@isthatsowrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/isthatsowrong)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/88 "2003-06-13T14:17:19Z")
I didn’t know Ireland was in Europe until I went there a couple of years ago. Turns out my wife is not only Irish, she’s European. I knew where Ireland was, and that it was _very_ close to Europe, but I never copped on to the fact that it is part of Europe. I never really thought about the consequences of that misunderstanding. Did I think Ireland was a continent? I was laughed out of the room by the wife for this one, too. Why did I marry her again? ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/89 "2003-06-13T14:19:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > \*\*I’m actually thinking that I could make a killing doing travelling demonstration lectures on female genitalia. 😉 \*\* When and where are the tickets going on sale? ::picks up folding chair and sleeping bag:: ---
**Author:** ![cankerist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@cankerist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cankerist)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/90 "2003-06-13T14:34:31Z")
Whenever I’m faced with a ‘left or right’ choice, I have to visualize my 3rd grade piano lessons and see my hands on the keys of the piano before I know which way is left and which is right. Strangely enough, I don’t have the same problem with port and starboard, which I learnt much later in life as a sailor. ---
**Author:** ![isthatsowrong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/35a633/32.png) [@isthatsowrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/isthatsowrong)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/91 "2003-06-13T14:35:23Z")
I don’t know why I’m revelling in my own stupidity, but I can’t stop… I never used the bathrooms in my high school. Six years (the school started in 7th grade), not once did I go to the bathroom during the school day. Why, you ask? Because I didn’t know where they were. How could I be in a building for 1080 days over six years and not know where the bathrooms are? I have no frickin’ clue, but I did it. Some cruel architect put those bastards somewhere strange and I never found them. Why didn’t I ask someone where the bathrooms were? At first, I was too shy. Then, after a few weeks or months, I realized that I can’t ask because it will then be obvious to all that I have been sitting in class trying to not piss myself. I didn’t want to find out what sort of nickname that would get me, so I held my tongue and did the pee-pee dance. Never wet myself, but those bumpy bus rides home were torture. If that all wasn’t bad enough, the same thing happened at my second real job. I didn’t pee at work until the company moved to a different building and I overheard someone being directed to the men’s room. I was on that guy like flies on shit. He must’ve thought I was gonna jump him. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/92 "2003-06-13T14:35:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > \*\*That reminds me of a good one–I was a senior in high school when I realized that Karl Marx was NOT one of the Marx Brothers. \*\* And a spectacularly funny Pit thread by ? regarding how he confused \*\*Jerry Lee Lewis \*\* and \*\* Jerry Lewis \*\* for years. “Goodness Gracioius Great Balls of…Heyyyy Laaaadie!” Who was dat, anyways? God that was funny. ---
**Author:** ![isthatsowrong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/35a633/32.png) [@isthatsowrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/isthatsowrong)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/93 "2003-06-13T14:38:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \*\*\* > I’m actually thinking that I could make a killing doing travelling demonstration lectures on female genitalia. 😉 \*\* Annie Sprinkle already does this, so you’ll have to find your own act. She inserts a speculum and lets audience members look at her cervix. How far are _you_ willing to go for your art? ---
**Author:** ![Tyler\_Do\_Urden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Tyler\_Do\_Urden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tyler_Do_Urden)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/94 "2003-06-13T14:47:12Z")
In elementary school, I swore that the New England Patriots and the Boston Bruins were the same team. I don’t think I knew hockey even existed. I just thought Bruins was a nickname for the football team. Hence, when they were in the Superbowl sometime in the mid eighties (can’t remember) I was rooting for the Boston Bruins. Hey, I was young and therefore stupid. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/95 "2003-06-13T14:58:13Z")
Glad to know I’m not the only adult who has difficulty with handling shoelaces. I’m 33 and I still have a hard time with remembering how to lace up a pair of shoes. I can do it after a couple “practice” tries, but it’s something I’ve never done often enough to master the skill. I can tie my shoes just fine, although I was seven years old before I could do it without any help. Being a guy, I know virtually nothing about playing football. I’ve never had any interest in the game and I’ve never bothered to understand all the rules and all the elements to the game. ---
**Author:** ![Bibliovore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Bibliovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliovore)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/96 "2003-06-13T14:59:29Z")
For years and years, I actually thought that there was a pole planted in the ice at the North Pole. For some weird reason, I pictured it as a red-and-white-striped barber-shop pole with a big brass ball on the top. I finally figured it out at around age 12, when I asked my mother. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, the lightbulb over my head went “ping!” and I felt like an idiot… I blame Bugs Bunny. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/97 "2003-06-13T15:10:35Z")
“It took me well over a year to learn how to masturbate correctly. In the meantime, I stuck my penis in every round opening I could find (shampoo bottle – much too small, mayonnaise jar – a bit too big; never did find anything that worked).” An old-fashioned, glass milk bottle. No, I’m not going to elaborate. ---
**Author:** ![isthatsowrong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/35a633/32.png) [@isthatsowrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/isthatsowrong)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/98 "2003-06-13T15:39:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by plnnr \* > \*\*“In the meantime, I stuck my penis in every round opening I could find (shampoo bottle – much too small, mayonnaise jar – a bit too big; never did find anything that worked).” > > An old-fashioned, glass milk bottle. \*\* Tried that. It was too small. Damn near broke that bottle trying, though. ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/99 "2003-06-13T15:46:05Z")
Thats gotta hurt, and that goes for both of you. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398/100 "2003-06-13T15:56:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by isthatsowrong? \* > \*\*Annie Sprinkle already does this, so you’ll have to find your own act. She inserts a speculum and lets audience members look at her cervix. How far are _you_ willing to go for your art? \*\* Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of pee-pee and tampon demonstrations, because that seems like an area that’s lacking around here. 😉 I actually did my own PG-rated version of the tampon demos in college, where I’d dip a tampon into water to make it explode. Unfortunately, that did nothing for the fight against ignorance, because I can’t tell you how many of my male friends were running around thinking, “Oh my God, so the second she sticks it up there, it, like, _explodes_ in her coochie!” 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/admit-it/181398.md?page=6)