# Adoption: Why say Mom and Dad?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adoption-why-say-mom-and-dad/525506>\
**Category:** Great Debates\
**Created:** [January 19, 2010, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adoption-why-say-mom-and-dad/525506 "2010-01-19T02:33:38Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 48

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**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\
**Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adoption-why-say-mom-and-dad/525506/48 "2010-01-19T18:39:09Z")

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> [@bengangmo](#):
>
> As opposed to a victim of you?
> 
> Quite simply, a parent, mom or dad is the person who does the raising, changes the diapers, is there for the first day of school, graduation and all of the myriad other milestones and memories of childhood.
> 
> Blood relationship has nothing whatsoever to do with this.
> 
> And the memories, and achievements of your client can never be taken away from here, they will always be there.
> 
> Its not impossible that for whatever reason, you client’s child will be lured by the excitement and “romance” of blood ties “calling out to her” but no matter what, your client is still the person that shaped her child into the person he or she is today. Even in the highly unlikely event that she is “abandoned” by the adopted child, she will still have her memories, and she will still be the single most important person in her child’s upbringing, that can never ever change.

Let me guess, you’re an adopter. Based on your description of parenting (does the raising, changes the diapers, is there for the milestones, shaped the child into the person they are today, etc.) a great many “parents” are actually Latin American maids rather than the people whose names are listed on the birth certificates. Though you are correct that a blood relationship has nothing whatsoever to do with that. $7.50 an hour however is the tie that binds. The client’s ability to to be “the single most important person in the child’s upbringing” appears to me far from good thing and I’m not sure what the client “achievements” could be said to be other than make a person who did love her actively dislike her. Lately, the client has been blathering to me that if this young woman (whom she claims she loves) actually tries to find her biological parents, the client is going to stop paying her college expenses. I usually don’t get that involved with other people’s lives when they are not family, but really this client honestly makes me sick. I can contact the young woman and tell her about the mental state of the client. My advice for the young woman would be to lie as much as she must until she gets her degree or has somesort of safety net in the world then let her emotions lead her.

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