# Adorable misconceptions I had as a kid. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 13, 2009, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491 "2009-11-13T21:50:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/61 "2009-11-14T17:24:32Z")
I thought my doll’s hair would grow back if I cut it. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/62 "2009-11-14T17:39:52Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > And I thought that after a presidential election, the loser gets to be vice-president. Well, that used to be the case, in the early days I’m pretty sure. (I can’t really see how anything would get done - well, not like anything gets done now, but … ) ---
**Author:** ![StoutHearted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@StoutHearted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StoutHearted)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/63 "2009-11-14T17:45:04Z")
When I was very, very young, I tried to wrap my head around the concept that was black-and-white TV. I initially thought that the world was in black and white until the '60s or so, when everything burst into color, _Pleasantville_ style. ---
**Author:** ![Orr\_G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ee59a6/32.png) [@Orr\_G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orr_G)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/64 "2009-11-14T18:19:52Z")
When I was very young, I had somehow convinced myself that there was a secret federal agent named “Obey” (rhymes with “Toby”), who had gone incommunicado while on a very important mission, and that the government had to get some information to him so that he could complete his mission. So important was the completion of this mission, that the government had commissioned and placed several signs in places where the agent would be likely to see them, with specific instructions for the agent regarding his signal. ---
**Author:** ![G.Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@G.Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Pie)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/65 "2009-11-14T18:28:48Z")
I thought adults never slept. They were up when I went to bed and they were still up the next morning. I also thought that “juvenile delinquent” and “home permanent” and a few other innocuous phrases were something vaguely dirty but I never had the courage to ask. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/66 "2009-11-14T18:40:43Z")
When I began to read I insisted that the letter u was just n upside down, and that it was only someone’s mistake. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/67 "2009-11-14T19:31:48Z")
I thought the hazard light button on a car was its self-destruct button. Also, to discourage me from playing with the gearshift as a kid (and probably to avoid the chances of me accidentally putting a car in neutral and having it roll down a hill or something) my dad told me if I moved the gearshift while the car was off it would explode :eek: Fast forward a few years we’re sitting in my friend’s dad’s car waiting for him to come out to drive us somewhere, with my friend idly wiggling the stick shift up in the front seat. :o “Hey don’t do that, you’ll kill us all!” :dubious: “What, this?” _wiggles gearshift around like crazy_ :o _faints_ ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/68 "2009-11-14T19:39:38Z")
I thought ‘eating pussy’ was literal. Found one of my uncle’s skin mags and read the letters section. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/69 "2009-11-14T20:57:52Z")
> [@rekkah](#): > > Gold is used in treating Rheumatoid Arthritis (and yes, the drug used can poison in overdose. I believe there was an episode of House that featured gold poisoning.) > > [http://www.arc.org.uk/arthinfo/patpubs/6246/6246.asp](http://www.arc.org.uk/arthinfo/patpubs/6246/6246.asp) [Hijack] I cared for people with aplastic anemia after taking colloidal gold in perscribed doses. It isn’t used anymore since it’s so unpredictable and there are more effective, less dangerous treatment.[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/70 "2009-11-14T21:02:30Z")
> [@Zeke\_N.Destroi](#): > > I thought that when I played a record the actual musicians had to stop whatever they were doing and start playing songs. One night as I was going to sleep my mom asked if I wanted her to put on my Irish Rovers record. I said, “No mommy, let them sleep.” That’s so sweet! Both that you thought that and the fact that you were so considerate for their need to sleep. Awww. 🙂 That gave me some warm fuzzies. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/71 "2009-11-14T22:02:03Z")
> [@G.Pie](#): > > I thought adults never slept. They were up when I went to bed and they were still up the next morning. My mom told me she thought the same thing. I can’t think of any of my own though I’m sure I had many, so I’ll share another of hers. When she was a little girl all of the grownups who lived in her house either wore glasses all the time or needed them to read. She’d ask her grandpa to read to her and he’d tell her to go get his glasses. She thought that glasses were all she needed to read, and that when she was old enough she’d get glasses and be all set. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/72 "2009-11-14T22:18:14Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > [gold poisoning](http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/g/gold_poisoning/intro.htm) And who are [wrongdiagnosis.com](http://wrongdiagnosis.com) when they’re at home? On first contact they look like a doctors-don’t-know-nuthin’ website. > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Actually, I understand it would be assuming it dissolved. Gold’s a heavy metal; the reason why it’s safe unlike, say, lead is because little will dissolve it, and the things that will typically aren’t found in or around the human body ( and would cause little problems like burning away your flesh if they were ). So it’s a poison that’s stuck in a form where it can’t poison you; a fairly common situation actually. Whether or not a poison is in a form that your body can and will absorb is as important as the poison’s lethality in the abstract. A rather long-winded way of admitting that gold isn’t poisonous; poisonous gold compounds, if any, are another kettle of fish. Are hydrogen, carbon or nitrogen poisonous? Prussic acid is. > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > As an aside about ingesting gold; I recall back in the 80’s a news story about a restaurant catering to self indulgent yuppie types that served gold coated food. So I presume stomach acid can’t dissolve it either, although I found pictures of shiny gold steaks unappealing. All that encyclopaedia time, and you’re “presuming”? Stomach acid is not-too-concentrated hydrochloric, which is a constituent of [_aqua regia_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aqua_regia) but not, per the cite, capable of dissolving gold. So eat a gilded steak, pass slightly gold-rich turds for a while, that’s all. See [Food and drink](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gold): “metallic gold is inert to all body chemistry”. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/73 "2009-11-14T23:06:04Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > And I thought that after a presidential election, the loser gets to be vice-president. Actually true in the early years of the US republic. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/74 "2009-11-14T23:14:14Z")
Oh, and apologies for the hijack. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/75 "2009-11-14T23:18:07Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > When I first heard the term “Essay”, I thought they were saying “S. A.”, and kept trying to figure out what the letters stood for-I knew it meant something along the lines of a paper you wrote for school or something. “School Assignment?” “Scribbled Argument?” In my elementary school you didn’t get sent to the Principal’s Office, you got sent to the S.A. Room. S.A. actually stood for “Social Adjustment” (is that creepy, or what?) but everyone assumed it was a room where you were forced to write essays as punishment. I thought “To Be Announced” was the name of a TV show (presumably a news program where they announced things). “Various Artists” and “XYZ” were names of bands. “Pelicula” was the name of a particularly popular Mexican movie; it was shown over and over on the Spanish-language channel. I was insomniac as a child, and I came to disbelieve in sleep. “Sleep” was lying motionless but fully conscious with closed eyes all night; all adults did this; and I needed to grow up and learn to patiently lie there all night myself. What I had originally thought of as “sleep,” total unconsciousness, was a weird fugue state experienced only by me, and then only rarely. Until an embarrassingly advanced age I believed that college football was a required class in college, their version of Phys Ed. Since I knew I would one day go to college, for years I dreaded having to play football and humiliate myself on TV every week. ---
**Author:** ![slitterst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecc23a/32.png) [@slitterst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slitterst)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/76 "2009-11-15T01:26:42Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > Actually true in the early years of the US republic. But I doubt panache45 is quite _that_ old. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/77 "2009-11-15T02:38:44Z")
> [@Briny\_Deep](#): > > I was insomniac as a child, and I came to disbelieve in sleep. “Sleep” was lying motionless but fully conscious with closed eyes all night; all adults did this; and I needed to grow up and learn to patiently lie there all night myself. What I had originally thought of as “sleep,” total unconsciousness, was a weird fugue state experienced only by me, and then only rarely. I don’t think I ever put it into words, but I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been an insomniac for as long as I can remember, and sleep generally eludes me…there are times when I truly feel that there is no way my brain will figure it out! My husband tells me “stop moving, close your eyes and shut up!”, but sometimes it feels like that’s all that’s gonna happen! I can’t think of any misconceptions I may have had right now. I’ll come back if I come up with something! ---
**Author:** ![Rala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@Rala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rala)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/78 "2009-11-15T05:37:36Z")
When we went to church and put money into the offering bags, I thought that we were literally “giving the money to God”. I pictured the pastor taking it into the back room where the coins would be beamed up by a column of white light. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/79 "2009-11-15T06:04:51Z")
> [@Briny\_Deep](#): > > I thought “To Be Announced” was the name of a TV show (presumably a news program where they announced things). “Various Artists” and “XYZ” were names of bands. Close, “To Be Announced” was usually written “TBA” in our TV guides, I thought it had something to do with “Tab” (the soda, this was the early 80s, after all), I also thought the “Tab key” on the computer/typewriter had something to do with all that too. Our church used to put its list of what’s going on in the church that week in the bulletin under the heading “Church Calendar”, I thought if you showed up at the church during one of those events they would give you a free calendar, made by the church. ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Medlo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hi\_Medlo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Medlo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491/80 "2009-11-15T13:26:14Z")
I believed that only men had pubic hair (similar to beards, I guess) and was shocked when I saw a friend’s older brother’s nudist magazines! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-misconceptions-i-had-as-a-kid/517491.md?page=5)