I somehow got the idea that little boys wore brown shoes, and men wore black shoes. So just before a big family wedding, I polished my new brown shoes with black shoe polish, creating a sort of tortoiseshell effect. My parents were not amused.
This one is amazingly common…I wonder how it started.
Move to Oz, and you’ll be right!
I can’t think of any big ones…I used to think the line ‘Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme’ in Scarborough Fair was ‘Partially save Rosemary in time.’ I have no idea what that was supposed to mean, but… And to be fair, the actual line is essentially nonsense, too…albeit themed nonsense.
I was really, really scared of Jesus as a child. I’d seen people hanging on crosses in churches, heard that someone called Jesus was involved, and made the logical deduction: Jesus is the bad, bad man who nails people to crosses.
** AND HE’S ABOUT TO COME BACK.**
But not enough, if you thought that gold was poisonous.
Actually, I understand it would be assuming it dissolved. Gold’s a heavy metal; the reason why it’s safe unlike, say, lead is because little will dissolve it, and the things that will typically aren’t found in or around the human body ( and would cause little problems like burning away your flesh if they were ). So it’s a poison that’s stuck in a form where it can’t poison you; a fairly common situation actually. Whether or not a poison is in a form that your body can and will absorb is as important as the poison’s lethality in the abstract.
As an aside about ingesting gold; I recall back in the 80’s a news story about a restaurant catering to self indulgent yuppie types that served gold coated food. So I presume stomach acid can’t dissolve it either, although I found pictures of shiny gold steaks unappealing.
gold poisoning
When I was 3 or 4 my great uncle died. I remember hearing the plans for the funeral. I was inconsolable because I wasn’t going to be going. I SO wanted to see the polar bears.
I was amazed that radio stations did not have the actual musicians in the studio performing each song.
"You mean, all they’re doing…is playing records?!?!?!?!?"
Wow. That *is *interesting. Like I said, it was about 23 or so years ago that I read it and I actually had to google it to get the correct spelling. Obviously I missed the part about all caps.
Yes, I did LOL at this. 
This. I’d try to stay up as late as I could, if something I wasn’t looking forward to was happening the next day. After all, if I’m awake forever, it’ll never come, right?
I asked my mother why shops closed, when I was little, and was very surprised when she told me that the cashiers have to go home to their families. I’d just assumed they stood in the shop 24/7…you know, that that was what they did, what they enjoyed doing. They didn’t need sleep like the rest of us.
I’m a little embarrassed by that last one, these days.
Me too! I’m so glad I’m not the only one! Exactly the same as you - even numbers girls, odd numbers boys!
Gold is used in treating Rheumatoid Arthritis (and yes, the drug used can poison in overdose. I believe there was an episode of House that featured gold poisoning.)
When I was four or five, I believed the largest number in the universe is 100.
I used to believe that they buried people standing up, with their head directly beneath the headstone.
I thought that when I played a record the actual musicians had to stop whatever they were doing and start playing songs. One night as I was going to sleep my mom asked if I wanted her to put on my Irish Rovers record. I said, “No mommy, let them sleep.”
I was convinced that I could re-charge the batteries in my battery-powered, wheeled toys by pushing them backwards, & that would fill the batteries with electricity again.
I could never figure out why a TV or radio station would have a commercial for a product, then later have a commercial for a competing product. Do the owners of the companies know about this?
And I thought that after a presidential election, the loser gets to be vice-president.
And I also thought women had one breast for each child they’ve had. After all, my mother had two kids and two breasts.
I didn’t have older siblings, so I worked out all by myself that Ronald Reagan lived inside the TV. My dad caught me trying to feed him jelly beans through the slots on the back 
This is embarrassing - until I was 14, I believed that there was a state called Kansas, a state called Arkansaw, and that the region between them was called ‘Arkansas’. Because of the way I tend to read words (read the begining until I know what it is and disregard the rest), I never noticed that I never saw Arkansaw on a map - I saw a state called “Arkans-” and never finished reading it to confirm the last few letters.
While reading the book “The Stand”, I spread a big map out in front of me so I could see where all the characters were traveling. Nick was in “Arkansas”. And then the confusion began.
My sister still laughs at me for this.
When I was too young to know differently, I heard some older kids talking about our school lunch, calling it fish dicks (we were having fish sticks). I thought they were making fun of people with speech problems who couldn’t pronounce “s”.
So I started calling fish sticks fish dicks. Much to the puzzlement/amusement of the adults who realized I was clueless.
Many years later I realized that I was an idjut.
Interestingly enough, Wikipedia reports that it’s common for books published after the movie “Secret of NIMH” came out to have the movie’s title (presumably because more people would recognize it that way).
And yeah, the NIMH bit was fascinating for me when I learned it.
Here’s one: Smoking caused the veins on your hands and arms to stand out. Anyone with veins popped up on their hands obviously was a smoker.
Aww! Who’s a cute widdle Wonald Weagan? Yes you are! Yes you are! Have a jellybean!