# Adorable. The new Elmo masturbates and can even felate himself **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 3, 2006, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077 "2006-10-03T04:36:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/1 "2006-10-03T04:36:12Z")
The original Tickle-Me-Elmo was creepy enough. The newest Tickle-Me-Elmo is downright disturbing. [http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8968326093647118174&q=tickle+me+elmo&pr=goog-sl&hl=en](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8968326093647118174&q=tickle+me+elmo&pr=goog-sl&hl=en) A mere touch and he sets off upon a minute-long fit of decidedly masturbatory hand movement combined with some head jogs that give a rather distinct impression of auto-felation. Elmo even insists that you become party to this disgusting conniption by kissing him. Dear god, will _somebody_ please think of the children! ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/2 "2006-10-03T04:45:55Z")
I don’t know that I get auto-fellatio from that, but it’s definitely disturbing in the handjob domain. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/3 "2006-10-03T04:53:11Z")
Gone…like tears in the rain, I’ll never have those video watching minutes back. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/4 "2006-10-03T05:18:15Z")
I’m… kinda turned on now… Is that normal? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/5 "2006-10-03T05:23:20Z")
Who, in Ford’s sweet name, thought that this was a good idea? It’s almost as bad as the super-soakers that sprayed a white goo that was absolutely, positively in no way similar to semen. ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/6 "2006-10-03T05:33:29Z")
I guess I am the only one who thinks it’s cute and funny and does not associate it with sex. He looks like he is batting someone who is tickling him hands’ away and doubling over in laughter. Has it been a long time since you all were tickled? One of my best friends is the funniest person to tickle, so I tickle him often. He reacts quite like Elmo. ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/7 "2006-10-03T06:05:11Z")
[QUOTE=myskepticsight] One of my best friends is the funniest person to tickle, so I tickle him often. [/QUOTE] Baby, that ain’t tickling. No, I don’t know, someone suggested a sexual interpretation to me and I found it absolutely hilarious combined with the over the top starting point of the toy. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/8 "2006-10-03T06:08:01Z")
[QUOTE=myskepticsight] Has it been a long time since you all were tickled? One of my best friends is the funniest person to tickle, so I tickle him often. He reacts quite like Elmo. [/QUOTE] Oh, you’re one of THOSE people! Evil, cruel, sadist!😃 Believe me, your friend does not think it’s funny when you tickle him! But I agree…I didn’t see the connection to self-gratification here. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/9 "2006-10-03T06:46:28Z")
Methinks if you see masturbation and/or fellatio in that video, you’re looking too damn hard. ---
**Author:** ![overeasy4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9bd4f/32.png) [@overeasy4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overeasy4)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/10 "2006-10-03T06:48:30Z")
Agreed. I just thouht he was being spastic. Too many Elmos fetishists. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/11 "2006-10-03T06:59:15Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] Methinks if you see masturbation and/or fellatio in that video, you’re looking too damn hard. [/QUOTE] Now _there’s_ a pun waiting to happen… …yeah, I know… ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/12 "2006-10-03T07:32:17Z")
I actually thought Elmo was pretty funny. They did a great job of making that little toy look like something that’s just busting a gut laughing. It would be hilarious at parties. I’ll bet kids just love it. They’ll laugh themselves silly. And I didn’t get any sexual overtones from that at all. To me, the worst interpretation I could make is that Elmo is laughing so hard he’s trying not to pee himself. Little kids often grab themselves down there as they’re heading breakneck for the bathroom. You guys are sick, twisted, and perverted. Besides, you haven’t seen ‘Dirty Sanchez’ Bert. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/13 "2006-10-03T08:18:52Z")
The most fun since the pogo Elmo… sin ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/14 "2006-10-03T10:58:27Z")
[QUOTE=Sam Stone] Besides, you haven’t seen ‘Dirty Sanchez’ Bert. [/QUOTE] _plugs ears with fingers and runs off going ‘lalalalala’ to save remains of childhood_ ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/15 "2006-10-03T11:04:08Z")
[QUOTE=myskepticsight] I guess I am the only one who thinks it’s cute and funny and does not associate it with sex. He looks like he is batting someone who is tickling him hands’ away and doubling over in laughter. Has it been a long time since you all were tickled? One of my best friends is the funniest person to tickle, so I tickle him often. He reacts quite like Elmo. [/QUOTE] I think it’s hilarious. I want to set off a couple dozen of 'em in the same room. Makes me wish I had a little kid to buy it for! ---
**Author:** ![BooBoo316](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@BooBoo316](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BooBoo316)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/16 "2006-10-03T13:14:16Z")
Thanks a lot, **Kalhoun** , now I have the image of an Elmo circle-jerk stuck in my head. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/17 "2006-10-03T13:24:45Z")
[QUOTE=BooBoo316] Elmo circle-jerk . [/QUOTE] band name ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/18 "2006-10-03T13:28:54Z")
[SNL parody on QVC doll stuff with Hugh Jackman](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OVWz0Eqw40) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/19 "2006-10-03T15:21:23Z")
We had the original Tickle Me Elmo and the bouncing Tigger from several years ago. Adults could make that pair do very naughty things. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/20 "2006-10-03T15:42:22Z")
My daughter is only 10 months old, but already squeals with delight every time she sees Elmo. I know she’d think this was the greatest thing in the world, but like all her other toys, the fascination would last about a day. Not exactly worth 40 bucks when she gets equal joy out of empty ketchup bottles. And to the OP, nope, I see nothing sexual there. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077.md?page=2)