# Adorable. The new Elmo masturbates and can even felate himself **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 3, 2006, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077 "2006-10-03T04:36:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/21 "2006-10-03T15:47:21Z")
I don’t get anything sexual from it either. Shannon Sharp had one on the NFL Today show on Sunday, and he set it off on the desk. My wife and i thought it was hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/22 "2006-10-03T16:07:59Z")
[QUOTE=Mr. Excellent] Who, in Ford’s sweet name, thought that this was a good idea? It’s almost as bad as the super-soakers that sprayed a white goo that was absolutely, positively in no way similar to semen. [/QUOTE] I had nothing to do with this abomination! ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/23 "2006-10-03T16:18:07Z")
It’ll go well with the [Nimbus 2000](http://www.seattleweekly.com/diversions/0237/arts-smallworld.php). ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/24 "2006-10-03T16:40:32Z")
Lest we not forget : [hello kitty vibrating goodness.](http://www.jmate.com/features/article_3.html) ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/25 "2006-10-03T16:49:43Z")
I just don’t see anything sexual there. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/26 "2006-10-03T16:55:50Z")
I thought he was giving a fascist salute . . . ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/27 "2006-10-03T17:03:24Z")
Kevin Clash, AKA the voice of Elmo, AKA Satan, was on [Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me](http://www.npr.org/programs/waitwait/) recently and one of the first things he says is, “There _is_ an off switch!” (To which most people responded, “Where?”) ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/28 "2006-10-03T23:07:30Z")
[QUOTE=GingerOfTheNorth] I just don’t see anything sexual there. [/QUOTE] Alright, you people are making me feel like a perv. Apparently I am. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2006, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/29 "2006-10-04T00:35:11Z")
I thought he was really cute. And kind of funny. And FTR, I am a perv, but I think what you see in there you bring to the table, as it were. I like the side-slapping silliness. ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2006, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/30 "2006-10-04T01:00:50Z")
[QUOTE=kittenblue] Oh, you’re one of THOSE people! Evil, cruel, sadist!😃 Believe me, your friend does not think it’s funny when you tickle him! But I agree…I didn’t see the connection to self-gratification here. [/QUOTE] When we were in highschool we’d be in my room watching movies and it would end up in a tickle fight that left us both about dying. If my mom hadn’t figured out he was gay not long after I started bringing him over, there would have been some explaining to do! Us in my bedroom rolling around on the bed laughing. Hah. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2006, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/31 "2006-10-04T01:07:43Z")
Not so sure about the sexual, but I think any doctor would diagnose Elmo as hypo-manic at the very least. he scares me. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2006, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/32 "2006-10-04T01:15:02Z")
Masturbates? Meh. IMO it does not look like that at all. Now, for a truly disturbing sight, I remember recently that there were “sleeping buddies” (real name escapes me now) electrical plushies that were supposed to be cute animals with their eyes closed, with simulated sleeping and snoring movements. Alone they looked nice, but what a sight was to behold when I noticed dozens of them in a bin on the way out of a Fry’s Electronics; the whole mess of them looked and sounded like if they were in a freaking massive orgy! ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2006, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/33 "2006-10-04T01:45:48Z")
In the interest of burning the last shred of innocence of Sesame Street: [Sesame Street “People” Cover](http://www.worth1000.com/view.asp?entry=222786) ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/edb3f5/32.png) [@Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Push_Up_Bra)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2006, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/34 "2006-10-04T06:02:16Z")
I saw a TMX Elmo box not long ago and it said ‘18+ only’ so it must be an adult parody of tickle me elmo. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/edb3f5/32.png) [@Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Push_Up_Bra)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2006, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/35 "2006-10-04T06:06:47Z")
Having said that and now watched the video - he does look like he’s busting a gut laughing. ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2006, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/36 "2006-10-04T09:04:01Z")
[QUOTE=Freudian Push Up Bra] I saw a TMX Elmo box not long ago and it said ‘18+ only’ so it must be an adult parody of tickle me elmo. Just sayin’. [/QUOTE] Are you sure it wasn’t 18 months+? 'Cause that would be the target audience for this. And, they’re in the little kid section of my local Toys 'R Us. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2006, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/37 "2006-10-04T10:07:11Z")
Am I the biggest tech/engineering geek on the Dope? I thought that is SO COOL, he falls down, then falls _over_, RingOTFLHisFAO, THEN, **THEN** … HE STANDS BACK UP AGAIN??? A little doll? Stands on his own? How did they do this? Maybe ball bearing weights? Shift them somehow up and down his torso? ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2006, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/38 "2006-10-04T12:22:37Z")
I thought it was pretty funny, actually. I can see how kids would be playing with it and laughing their asses off, as would most adults the first time they saw it. I like how it rolled over facedown, slapping its hand on the floor as if he was saying “stop it- stop it- you’re killing me!” Gee, seeing that quote out of context could be really disturbing. Anyway, I can see a hint of general masturbatory goodness in there. I think it’s when he’s laying on his right side, kind of rocking back and forth. But kids wouldn’t get that until they’re old enough to do it, and by then, they should be in their rooms doing it, not playing with Elmos. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2006, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/39 "2006-10-04T13:56:39Z")
[QUOTE=if6was9] Am I the biggest tech/engineering geek on the Dope? I thought that is SO COOL, he falls down, then falls _over_, RingOTFLHisFAO, THEN, **THEN** … HE STANDS BACK UP AGAIN??? A little doll? Stands on his own? How did they do this? Maybe ball bearing weights? Shift them somehow up and down his torso? [/QUOTE] Yeah, I was pretty amazed by that too, but since no one else said anything, I figured maybe I was just too easily impressed. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2006, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077/40 "2006-10-04T14:49:47Z")
Am I the only person here who’s used the term, “Tickling the Elmo?” I’ve also heard the abbreviated, “Tickling Elmo” for such single-handed fun. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adorable-the-new-elmo-masturbates-and-can-even-felate-himself/375077.md?page=3)