# Adult Friend Who Is Childlike- Diagnosis? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 15, 2016, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816 "2016-05-15T02:37:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ken001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Ken001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ken001)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/1 "2016-05-15T02:37:10Z")
I have a relative who is a decent 50yr old man. Unmarried - not from lack of interest but shyness mainly. The problem which perplexes me is that his mind seems to have stopped at age 15. Fortunately he is able to cope with contact with the world and to most people he appears normal on brief acquaintance. His sense of humour can be childlike and he could be dismissed as immature. I have looked briefly at the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 4 but there are a myriad of diagnoses which I cannot distinguish among. This man had a domineering (but not cruel) father which can be a factor. Basically my relative never grew up. I’d like to help him if possible. Any thoughts on what personality disorder or mental condition which could point the way? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/2 "2016-05-15T02:51:41Z")
Autistic spectrum, maybe? Borderline-low IQ? Does he have a job? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/3 "2016-05-15T02:52:18Z")
AFAIK having a juvenile sense of humor isn’t a symptom of any mental disorder. It sounds like your relative is able to function normally and you don’t say that he’s suffering from any mental distress or impairment, so it’s not clear to me why you think he has a problem that needs to be diagnosed. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/4 "2016-05-15T02:52:36Z")
What do you want to help him do? He made to age 50, is there something wrong with his life now? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/5 "2016-05-15T03:48:39Z")
Does he have a history of alcohol or drug abuse? I’ve known people with addictions who appeared to be stunted at the age at which their addictions began. The addictions prevented them from gaining life experiences and maturing along the way. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/6 "2016-05-15T04:15:03Z")
I have known several individuals who could be described as childlike. I don’t mean juvenile, as in giggling at fart jokes and the like, but rather seemingly as innocent as a newborn babe. Completely asexual, operating out in La-la Land, but otherwise functioning normally. One I got to know very well here in Thailand was in my Peace Corps group back in the 1980s. He was from Vermont, where he’d been a bank teller. By his accounts, he had a very healthy relationship with both parents and his sisters. He was just innocently childlike. Some people are just like that. ---
**Author:** ![Ken001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Ken001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ken001)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/7 "2016-05-15T04:19:36Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Autistic spectrum, maybe? Borderline-low IQ? Does he have a job? Interesting suggestion but he doesn’t display any autism behavior that I’m aware of. As for a job, life has been kind and he owns a farm which is leased out for a good income. He did spend a few years in a manual labouring job. He struggled at school but has intelligence and I’d say he is average. However he does struggle with social interactions. > [@panache45](#): > > Does he have a history of alcohol or drug abuse? I’ve known people with addictions who appeared to be stunted at the age at which their addictions began. The addictions prevented them from gaining life experiences and maturing along the way. Fortunately no drugs and alcohol. He doesn’t drink. ---
**Author:** ![Ken001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Ken001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ken001)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/8 "2016-05-15T04:21:53Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I have known several individuals who could be described as childlike. I don’t mean juvenile, as in giggling at fart jokes and the like, but rather seemingly as innocent as a newborn babe. Completely asexual, operating out in La-la Land, but otherwise functioning normally. One I got to know very well here in Thailand was in my Peace Corps group back in the 1980s. He was from Vermont, where he’d been a bank teller. By his accounts, he had a very healthy relationship with both parents and his sisters. He was just innocently childlike. Some people are just like that. Thank you Siam Sam. Your description fits him to a T. Innocently childlike. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/9 "2016-05-15T06:06:14Z")
> [@Ken001](#): > > I have looked briefly at the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 4 but there are a myriad of diagnoses which I cannot distinguish among. Suppose you did have a named, definitive diagnosis, what would you do with that information; if there is some identifiable thing going on, would you be qualified to treat it? Absent that, I suppose the big question for me is “is your friend happy?” Is he satisfied with his life, does he want to make minor changes (like being more social), or is he bothered by the situation and doesn’t know what to do about it? I’d figure out the answer to that before deciding what to do. ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/10 "2016-05-15T06:55:37Z")
The only information you’ve provided is his age, his lack of a significant other, and this : “His sense of humour can be childlike and he could be dismissed as immature.” Sounds like any normal guy to me so far. Do you have more pertinent details? It appears you left them all out. Inasmuch as we can never truly describe another’s mental illness, we sure as shit can’t do it off of four or so vague lines wherein the metaphorical geiger counter doesn’t even begin to click rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/11 "2016-05-15T07:40:03Z")
Hmm… I’m not sure how to say this, but I suspect he may be human. I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/12 "2016-05-15T10:38:49Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > What do you want to help him do? He made to age 50, is there something wrong with his life now? OP thinks he’s “weird,” and therefore needs to be “fixed.” ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/13 "2016-05-15T14:35:47Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > OP thinks he’s “weird,” and therefore needs to be “fixed.” Whom are you quoting? ---
**Author:** ![Me\_Billy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Me\_Billy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Me_Billy)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/14 "2016-05-15T16:22:41Z")
Developmentally disabled [retarded]. possibly. Note people who are _borderline_ developmentally disabled may look and act like other people, but may in many ways be childlike. For example I know a 29 year old with an IQ of 85. He likes to be read Dr. Seuss books [he can’t read very well himself]. And otherwise is childlike. ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/15 "2016-05-15T19:45:58Z")
[ol] [li]What is his history of romantic relationships?[/li][li]Does he have pets?[/li][li]Does he listen to music or watch sports?[/li][/ol] I have more questions, but I think we should start this analysis with these three. ---
**Author:** ![CerebrAl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@CerebrAl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CerebrAl)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/16 "2016-05-15T21:56:17Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > What do you want to help him do? He made to age 50, is there something wrong with his life now? Excellent question…It occurs to me this “childlike” person may be happier then all of the adults that are concerned for or otherwise wishing/trying to change him added together. Hard if not impossible to quantify…but certainly worth the time it takes to contemplate. ---
**Author:** ![spamforbrains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@spamforbrains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spamforbrains)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2016, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/17 "2016-05-16T01:26:14Z")
In what way is he “childlike”? Has tantrums? Asks annoying “why” questions? Can’t tie his own shoes? Goes around biting other people? Plays with dolls? Just saying he’s “childlike” isn’t very descriptive. ---
**Author:** ![Ken001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Ken001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ken001)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2016, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/18 "2016-05-16T01:52:02Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > What do you want to help him do? He made to age 50, is there something wrong with his life now? > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Suppose you did have a named, definitive diagnosis, what would you do with that information; if there is some identifiable thing going on, would you be qualified to treat it? > > Absent that, I suppose the big question for me is “is your friend happy?” Is he satisfied with his life, does he want to make minor changes (like being more social)…? Excellent. Which is why I didn’t post in General Questions. It is a problem for which there may be no answers but I am hoping to find helpful strategies to enrich his life. My OP is short on details because long posts are hard to read and I try to be succinct. Happy? Sort of but lonely, low self esteem, and lacking in stimulation. He gets most of it from Discovery/Nat Geo tv channels. ---
**Author:** ![Ken001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Ken001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ken001)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2016, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/19 "2016-05-16T02:02:04Z")
> [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](#): > > [ol] > [li]What is his history of romantic relationships?[/li][li]Does he have pets?[/li][li]Does he listen to music or watch sports?[/li][/ol] > > I have more questions, but I think we should start this analysis with these three. 1. No romantic relationships ever. I was at a party with him once and an attractive young lady was certainly interested but he had no idea. 2. Pets - yes. A cat and he used to have sheep dogs which he liked. 3. Sports - not a lot although he will watch tv international rugby matches. Music - he used to like Led Zeppelin etc as a youth but no interest in anythng these days. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2016, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816/20 "2016-05-16T02:07:30Z")
Two questions: Are you a doctor? Is he your patient? If you can’t answer yes to both of them you shouldn’t be trying to “diagnose” anything. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-friend-who-is-childlike-diagnosis/754816.md?page=2)