# Adult woman throws temper tantrum because hubby won't take her to the lake. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2013, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300 "2013-07-23T15:45:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/221 "2013-07-28T19:46:40Z")
I think her drunkenness is the source of _much_ of what is going wrong in this video. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/222 "2013-07-28T19:59:53Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > **Maybe he thought letting someone totally out of control out of the car could create a public safety problem, and that that might take precedence over catering to the tantrum and rewarding her by giving in?** > Oh wait, he has a penis. This automatically makes him the villain of the piece. This. Either she’s a) throwing a manipulative temper tantrum or b) in the process of a breakdown. If it’s the temper tantrum, leaving her out in traffic isn’t going to solve anything. If it’s the breakdown, leaving her out of the car would be the last thing that needed to happen. At least she’s contained there. It appears that this happened in my locale. If indeed it happened in Nashville, the stopping for cigarettes shouldn’t be an issue. You can’t swing a cat without hitting a convenience store or some kind of market that sells beer and tobacco. At most, she’s within a mile anywhere in metro Davidson County. That’s easily walkable or, if too impaired, a quick cab ride. Also, in the locale, either lake would be an easy cab ride away. If you can’t blow low enough to start your car, do what countless drunks do after last call and call a taxi. I will agree that he’s a douche for posting this on the internet though. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/223 "2013-07-28T20:09:55Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > I disagree. You don’t know how long he’s had to put up with that shit. I’ve had, in the past, the misfortune of dating a woman as impulsive and immature as that, and when you have to deal with that kind of person day after day, eventually you stop giving a shit; it becomes a joke and all you can do is laugh (and leave). To an outsider, seeing this one incident at the very end of their relationship, sure, he’s being a dick, but if you were him, you’d understand. > > I just hope they don’t have any kids. Honey Boo-Boo anyone ? ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/224 "2013-07-28T20:20:07Z")
> [@](#): > > Honey Boo-Boo anyone ? Crazy drunken video girl makes [Mama June](https://www.google.com/search?q=mama+june+images&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&client=safari#biv=i%7C11%3Bd%7Cus8UMX3Pccej9M%3A) look like a hotbed of mental health. ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/225 "2013-07-28T23:12:03Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > [QUOTE=even sven] > Hon, I can tell that you are really upset about this, and you must be really disappointed about how the day is going. Maybe it’s because I’m in a calm state now, but just reading that makes my blood pressure rise a bit as it sounds a bit condescending and artificial… I mean, really? “You must be really disappointed about how the day is going”? That just sounds forced, insincere, and condescending to me, no matter what tone of voice you apply to it. Maybe you can say that to a 5-year-old, but a grown person, no matter how childish they’re acting, is a bit much. [/QUOTE] What’s funny is that even though **even sven** had time to sit down and put together a thoughtful and considerate response to the wife’s actions, some people are still thinking that this would have been condescending. So, what, practically could the guy have done? Keeping calm and collected has been considered “taunting” her. Some of his other reactions have been considered “winding her up” or “pushing her buttons”. **even sven** ’s response has been considered condescending. I think no matter how he reacted to her, some people in this thread (and his wife) could have interpreted it as him being a jerk As Seanette said: “Oh wait, he has a penis. This automatically makes him the villain of the piece” ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/226 "2013-07-28T23:16:12Z")
> [@Asympotically\_fat](#): > > I think anyone painting him as the villain of the piece needs to seriously examine the way they view the World! A grown-up woman behaving in a way that most people wouldn’t find as acceptable (though perhaps not unexpected behaviour) from a 5 year-old has no excuses whatsoever as there is never a reason to behave like that. > [@Shodan](#): > > And since she can turn it on and off at will, as witnessed by her typing on her phone in mid-rant, she would simply turn the tantrum off while he was out of the car and start up again on his return. > > Of course, on Facebook it would be “he ABANDONED ME IN TRAFFIC AND I CAN’T DRIVE!!!” This! (Or I guess “These!”, since there’s two quotes above) ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/227 "2013-07-28T23:28:37Z")
> [@Asympotically\_fat](#): > > I think anyone painting him as the villain of the piece needs to seriously examine the way they view the World! A grown-up woman behaving in a way that most people wouldn’t find as acceptable (though perhaps not unexpected behaviour) from a 5 year-old has no excuses whatsoever as there is never a reason to behave like that. In addition, imagine if a grown man behaved like her: They are in her truck, he asks her to take him to the lake, she refuses cause she “has to do her nails”, and then he starts crying and yelling that they _never_ do what he wants. And finally, he temporarily pauses his sobbing to post on Facebook how _mean_ his wife is. He is throwing a tantrum like a 5-year-old, and she stays calm and is somewhat laughing at his behavior. It seems to me that in the above scenario, the woman’s reactions would have been justified. She would not be the villain, and she should not be considered condescending if she was bemused with his childish behavior. No grown man should behave like that, and it would be laughable if one did. Similarly, no grown woman should behave like that, and it is laughable that one did. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/228 "2013-07-28T23:31:24Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > What’s funny is that even though **even sven** had time to sit down and put together a thoughtful and considerate response to the wife’s actions, some people are still thinking that this would have been condescending. > > So, what, practically could the guy have done? Keeping calm and collected has been considered “taunting” her. Some of his other reactions have been considered “winding her up” or “pushing her buttons”. **even sven** ’s response has been considered condescending. > > I think no matter how he reacted to her, some people in this thread (and his wife) could have interpreted it as him being a jerk > > As Seanette said: “Oh wait, he has a penis. This automatically makes him the villain of the piece” That’s it exactly. It wouldn’t matter what he would of done, he’s the villain. They may say he could of done this, or that. But they’re just trying to save face as to not come across as : _everyone is responsible for their own actions in relationships; except women. That’s the mans fault._ I hope none of these people ever get called up for jury duty where domestic violence is involved. Poor bastards are going down no matter what. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/229 "2013-07-29T00:56:05Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Looks to me like the majority of posters are bending over backward to put the majority of the fault on the husband. Closer to 60/40 her, IMO. Sure, videoing something like this and posting it is a jerk move, no argument there, but I can see his point about documenting her behavior to show the people she’s been bad-mouthing him to just what he’s dealing with and hopefully show her just how much she needs to dry out. (Still wondering, if she’s a nurse, what her employers think about her substance issues and lack of maturity/self-control?) > > I still wouldn’t want to have to put up with either of them. It’s not about blame, it’s about what you can and you can’t control. You can’t control someone being immature, incredibly annoying and likely a substance abuser. But you can control if you enter in to a marriage with them, remain in the marriage well past the point that the two of you no longer have any respect or compassion for each other, and if you chose to end your marriage with some dignity or if you want to air your dirty laundry in a way that is likely to have severe effects on the livelihood of the person you (just fourteen months ago) apparently loved enough to marry. Both are 100% culpable for their actions. But there is a big difference between choosing to spend your day being drunk and annoying, and choosing to spend your day secretly video taping people and putting their worst private moments on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/230 "2013-07-29T01:16:10Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > But there is a big difference between choosing to spend your day being drunk and annoying, and choosing to spend your day secretly video taping people and putting their worst private moments on the internet. Yeah, the first one is much worse. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/231 "2013-07-29T01:25:52Z")
[QUOTE=zoid] Yeah, the first one is much worse. [/QUOTE] +1 ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/232 "2013-07-29T01:47:18Z")
I don’t see anyone saying that her behavior is OK. We have pretty good substantiation from her own mouth that she is a very troubled person. And as I said before, she seems to be the one who broke the public/private barrier, by villainizing him on Facebook. If he had released multiple videos I might respond differently. I think he has a right to defend himself, and had no control over it going viral. What I do think we are all saying, is that he’s no peach either. He’s clearly a passive controller, and he’s treating her very disrespectfully. Detoxing sucks. Nicotine withdrawal on top of alcohol withdrawal is an evil combination. And being unwillingly trapped in a vehicle when you’ve asked the driver to stop makes even sane, clean people feel desperate. It’s not about assigning blame, it’s just interesting to analyze the dynamic. Of course, for all we know her dope dealer is at the lake and he’s trying to save her life. But that’s not the vibe he’s giving off. He seems glib, triumphant, and very self-centered. He’s not the kind of strong, steady partner who can walk a spouse through a hard time with love, respect, and restraint. She’s unlikely to succeed in staying sober while she’s with him. And he’s unlikely to ever be happy attached to her. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/233 "2013-07-29T05:04:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Detoxing sucks. Did I miss something? Who said she was detoxing? She was detoxing but she wanted to go hang at the lake? Detoxing is horrible. The last thing you want to do is hang out in the sun all day. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/234 "2013-07-29T07:04:20Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Detoxing sucks. Nicotine withdrawal on top of alcohol withdrawal is an evil combination. I wholeheartedly agree. I just have one question however: WTF does this have to do with the OP?! :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/235 "2013-07-29T14:33:01Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > That’s it exactly. It wouldn’t matter what he would of done, he’s the villain. I don’t understand how you’ve reached that conclusion from this thread. That’s certainly not my position at least. Him acting calm and collected is a perfectly fine response. Recording and putting the video on Youtube? Not so much. If she did it first by posting videos, it’s certainly understandable, but still a tad dickish. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300/236 "2013-07-29T14:36:43Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I don’t understand how you’ve reached that conclusion from this thread. That’s certainly not my position at least. Exactly what I was trying to go for with my question. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adult-woman-throws-temper-tantrum-because-hubby-wont-take-her-to-the-lake/664300.md?page=11)