# Adults and Kids Respect? Agree? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [October 7, 2012, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adults-and-kids-respect-agree/636997 "2012-10-07T16:36:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adults-and-kids-respect-agree/636997/81 "2012-10-10T22:24:17Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > I disagree heartily with that, WhyNot. Everyone ought to be treated with respect, including kids so that they may learn by example. They can earn privileges, privacy, allowance… but kids are in no position to prove something they are in the process of learning. Were your kids ever treated in a disrespectful manner by a teacher, step parent, or other authority figure? Eh, maybe **RickJay** ’s right, at least for the purposes of this thread. My kids have been treated in a \*discourteous \*manner, sure, and that pisses me off. But I don’t really expect them to have earned much in the way of actual honest respect yet. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adults-and-kids-respect-agree/636997/82 "2012-10-10T22:31:19Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Eh, maybe **RickJay** ’s right, at least for the purposes of this thread. My kids have been treated in a \*discourteous \*manner, sure, and that pisses me off. But I don’t really expect them to have earned much in the way of actual honest respect yet. Maybe an example would clarify? Do you agree that it is acceptable to talk over a polite kid (one who waits his turn to speak)? Barge in the bathroom on an older kid without knocking? Ignore a kid’s request to share the radio in the car? ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adults-and-kids-respect-agree/636997/83 "2012-10-10T23:14:37Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Maybe an example would clarify? Do you agree that it is acceptable to talk over a polite kid (one who waits his turn to speak)? Barge in the bathroom on an older kid without knocking? Ignore a kid’s request to share the radio in the car? I don’t and I don’t think **WhyNot** would agree that any of those things are acceptable. They are all discourteous, but courtesy is not the same as respect. There are many adults I have no respect for , for any number of reasons - but I still treat them with courtesy. It’s a valuable distinction. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adults-and-kids-respect-agree/636997/84 "2012-10-10T23:14:59Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Maybe an example would clarify? Do you agree that it is acceptable to talk over a polite kid (one who waits his turn to speak)? Barge in the bathroom on an older kid without knocking? Ignore a kid’s request to share the radio in the car? I think all of those are best identified with the term “courtesy”, except maybe the last one (my answers are “no, no and yes, because the driver gets to pick the radio station in my car”). Respect is what I have for heroes and Presidents and mothers of triplets - deference, not equality. But again, **RickJay** ’s probably right for this thread - assuming that what the OP meant by “respect” is what I mean by “courtesy”, then just cut and paste and we can go home now. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adults-and-kids-respect-agree/636997/85 "2012-10-10T23:14:59Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Y’know, I actually like that distinction. I’m always a bit uncomfortable with the “deserve respect” notion anyhow. No one \*deserves \*respect, or respect loses its meaning. Respect is earned because you do something that causes me to respect you. Treating someone in a courteous manner is a form of respect. Everybody deserves to be treated with respect until they demonstrate that they are not deserving of it. ---
**Author:** ![MrMasterDaniels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MrMasterDaniels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrMasterDaniels)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adults-and-kids-respect-agree/636997/86 "2012-10-10T23:30:58Z")
I disagree that basic respect should be earned. That means kids have to earn respect from parents and vice versa. As I looked up the definiton of respect, here is what I found regard - esteem - reverence - deference - **consideration** verb. honour - honor - esteem - regard - venerate - revere The grandmother obviously had disrespect for her grandchild. She had no consideration. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adults-and-kids-respect-agree/636997/87 "2012-10-11T10:56:13Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I think all of those are best identified with the term “courtesy”, except maybe the last one (my answers are “no, no and yes, because the driver gets to pick the radio station in my car”). Respect is what I have for heroes and Presidents and mothers of triplets - deference, not equality. > > But again, **RickJay** ’s probably right for this thread - assuming that what the OP meant by “respect” is what I mean by “courtesy”, then just cut and paste and we can go home now. By that definition I don’t respect more than a handful of people in all of history. My own definition is more along the lines of “I’ll respect you until you prove you deserve disrespect.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adults-and-kids-respect-agree/636997.md?page=4)