You’re thinking of Myspace. Nearly everyone I know and associate with has a Facebook page, almost all of them are my age or older, and I’m 35.
Maybe I was thinking of myspace. What’s the difference? I went to look at the facebook site to see what it’s like and it won’t let me past the homepage without registering. I’m not about to register. Isn’t it just like lame picture of people and their pets and lists of their favorite colors and stuff? I’m way behind the times on this stuff. What use do adults find for this site?
It’s the best way I’ve ever found of reconnecting with old friends, seeing pictures, basically catching up with the least amount of effort ever!
Crom, you’re such a cynic!
Of course. We all know the proper way to raise a child is to seal it inside a vault for 18 years with an adequate food/water supply. Anything else would be tantamount to child abuse.
You’ve been playing Fallout 3, haven’t you?
As a matter of fact I have. But I wasn’t even thinking of that consciously.
Hey Homie, as a guy who works with kids and as a parent of a teenager who is into the social networking website thing, I just want to validate your concerns. You ain’t being crazy at least thinking about whether or not this is the right thing to do.
Unfortunately, those of us who work with children, whether it be as a volunteer, at church, or professionally, always need to be on our toes to avoid the false accusation, or doing things that seem sketchy, especially us guys. Is it fair? No. Does it sometimes get in the way of connecting with kids and helping them become better adults? Not necessarily, although it does make things more complicated and more difficult.
I don’t have a site, but I wouldn’t want to be connected with any of my daughter’s teenage friends or any of the kids that I work with on my personal social networking site. Why would I? It would be my personal site for comunicating with my adult friends. If I did have a page, I would have no problem telling kids I know “no.” For me, the risks outwiegh the benefits.
In most cases, I wouldn’t want my daughter having adult “friends,” especially if I didn’t know about it. Hell, I worry enough about the crap the kids her age talk and torment each other about (She invites me to read her page and stuff her friends are talking about on their pages).
One thing that I have thought about is having a Myspace/Facebook page sponsored by the agency I work with, that way I can keep up and communicate with the kids I have worked with, but it is all above board and no one can accuse me of trying to cultivate kiddie friends!
I know a couple of high school teachers that accept students as friends, and one lady I work with is the leader of her youth group at church, and most of her friends are 12 and up. Some of my friend’s younger siblings have Facebook/Myspace and I’m friends with them. Some of their friends that I have met requested me as a friend and I didn’t really think it was that odd to add them.
You can go without it and live a happy and productive life. Right now its in rev 2, so it wont be truly useful till its sixth incantation, that is if its still around.
Declan
So far, I’ve come back into casual yet regular contact with a dozen friends from high school, helped to organize a reunion retirement concert of 20 years of graduating students from my old high school, and helped herd a bunch of friggin’ cats I’ve been friends with for 10 years into actually going out to dinner together once a month. I’ve watched my friends travel the world in nearly real time, found out about births and deaths and graduations I never would have known about, and have had an old dear friend contact me for an out of state visit the weekend after next - she was too shy to call, but when she saw me on Facebook, she Chatted with me and found the courage to ask to stay at my place. I’m thrilled!
On MySpace, on the other hand, I mostly spend time deleting spam and borderline porn sites that want to be my Friends. I hardly ever go there anymore.
Thanks everyone for your thoughtful replies. It seems as if I’ve maybe been overthinking this (and thanks Mesquite-oh for your validation and encouragement).
The first thing I was taught when I volunteered for children’s ministry was to NEVER do anything that even APPEARS to be questionable, no matter how mundane and innocent it is. I guess I’m just hyper-sensitive.
I mostly ignore my facebook page, but one of my friends is a teenage lesbian who is NOT out to her parents and whose parents tell her many times that being gay is an abomination. Eek. I do the best I can to support her from a distance. We’re friends but I do feel a responsibility being so many years older, like an elder sister.
However, she is late teens. I would be even more careful with an early teen.
Well…I believed the same thing. And also I believed it was probably much less widespread in France.
Now, one hour ago, while chatting with my mother about family, inspired by this thread, it occurred to me spy on my nieces and nephew, just in case one of them would have a Facebook page.
Result : everyone (age 13-21) had one! First surprise. I kept searching with my cousins’ children (age 18-30). Same result. Everybody has a Facebook page. So I tried with my cousins themselves (age late 40s-50s). They all had a Facebook page too.
Feeling suddenly that I was the only guy not invited to the party, I searched for my brothers. Fortunately, none had a page. I was relieved. But it seems indeed that it’s more common than I assumed, even amongst older people.
I just registered on Facebook 
I don’t think anybody I know IRL would have a facebook page, and anybody I want to connect with, I’m already connected with, so I guess it’s not for me.
My entire family is on Facebook, including my 85 year-old grandmother. It’s definitely not just for teenagers anymore!
As someone who knows people who have friended their teacher and have seen shirtless pics of him drinking, I don’t think it’s a big deal. No, seriously, teenagers know their authority figures have lives outside of school and aren’t on wholesome mode 24/7.
I’d be reluctant with a 14 year old, but a 17 year old? Pshaw.
Man, I’m telling you as someone who’s spent a significant amount of time working with kids – never allow it to get personal, and never, ever, ever do anything to allow even the slightest appearance of impropriety. If you ever get accused, you will be presumed guilty. Make sure even an accusation is impossible.
I started on FB when I was in grad school with others from across the country (and world–this was an online program). We started so that we could SEE pics of D’s new baby in Rhode Island as well as support E in her move from NYC to Colorado etc. I am “friends” with my kids and a few of their friends as well–no one I don’t know in RL already.
I play Scrabble with several Dopers (and I seem to be losing my edge there–they’re getting good!), and now some colleagues from work are on as well.
The Youth Director at our church is friends with most of her youth people. Sadly, I think this all might be different if she were male–and that sucks.
I look at my FB every day. It’s one good way to keep in contact with my away at college Daughter. I enjoy it. Would my life be horrible without it? No. But I have found old friends, and made new ones through it. For some of these folks, it’s the equivalent of the Christmas card–some of them are not people I would want to see every day, but I care enough about them to want to stay somewhat abreast of their lives. It’s perfect for that.
It goes without saying that since I have teens on mine (and since I’m married and have work contacts etc on it), there is no porn or questionable stuff on my FB. I’d say it’s PG-13 at most. Folks who do post that kind of stuff need to know that more and more employers are looking at FB walls. I don’t agree with that, but discretion would be more prudent and all that…
Just having your name there is no problem, it’s really the communications from you the parents should be worried about. Keep it clean and you shouldn’t have any problems. But now you can’t go joining “Weird Sex” Facebook groups or anything, because Facebook reports on every darn thing you do.
Also, if I was a parent and saw someone from church on my kid’s Facebook page I would consider it a good thing that my kid wasn’t embarassed about associating with church folk.